Tanya’s Reviews > Cracked > Status Update

What is it about these dwarfish little humans? They lack smarts, lack skills and they never seem to have much money. Yet they are powerful little monsters - adults dance to the tunes played by their chubby little fingers. ...Suddenly the lower lip pokes out and the eyes grow even bigger. I feel a tug in the region where my heart should be ... want to give it things ... Ahhhhhh! Look away!

Chi pauses at the door and quirks a blond eyebrow at me. “You ready to play the bad girl?”
I give him a vicious grin, all teeth, and he draws back. I wrinkle my forehead and ask, “Was that good?”
There’s a beat as he blinks, “Um, yeah, good.”
Hehe.

Like anyone on a diet, I’ve found that complete abstention never works— it just leads to poor decision-making later. Of course, my binges don’t result in weight gain, but rather indiscriminate homicide. I’d say the stakes are higher, but then a Twinkie would no doubt disagree.