Batgrl (Book Data Kept Elsewhere)’s Reviews > The Pike > Status Update

Er, NO, wait, re-twist to that twist end! Damn you book, which ending is it?!

NO WAY! ...It's a twist ending. Which I did not see coming because I was totally into Team Pike. Must add what this is later, under spoiler tag in the review...

Apparently Mike has been living with The Aura of Failure. And his Love Interest has sensed that presence hanging around him, because she can sense things like that. (Pause for more eyerolling.)

"Incredible! That guy hit the ball from a hundred yards. With a longbow!"

Ulysses Grant: "The fish ye're on about has all the strengths of a typical pike, but he has habits and patterns that are strictly his own."
- And he's called Strongbow because he uses a bow and arrows. Yes really. And the pike ate his dog.

"God alone knows what you'll be up against. This creature attacks boats. It has the strength to rupture a hull and the anger to make it want to. If it attacks don't resort to subtlety. Your job is to kill it, but your primary duty is to keep it from harming yourselves."

So the bartender tells them he knows a local who's a pike expert. Whose name is Ulysses Grant, but his nickname is Strongbow. And he's a "big, dour Scotsman." (If I roll my eyes any more they'll detach and come out of my skull. Still, this REALLY needs to be a SyFy movie.)

"'The old scientific dilemma again. Theory refusing to mesh with fact. The bee, I'm told, can't fly. Not in theory.'
'Quite,' Wilmslow said. 'It's aerodynamically impossible...'
- I remember being told that. Debunked here. Also here.

After a giant pike mutilates and kills someone and then attacks a boat, it's completely normal for a journalist and The Scientist (we only get one) to hang out in a bar afterwards discussing things. Because in these situations journalists are usually the ones to Solve The Problem. Also the Scientist thinks it's weird that the pike is acting like a shark. And it may weigh more than previously supposed.

...and now the pike is attacking a boat. Because of course it would. It's probably bored because it hasn't had enough screen-time, er I mean pages. And good for it. Now if only the pike was able to use a rocket launcher it could take over the entire lake.