Zsofi’s Reviews > The Glamourist > Status Update
Zsofi
is 65% done
“Cleo Marchand?” Oh I wish you had somehow established Cleo Marchand in the reader’s awareness of the history of your world just so we recognise her. This way as a reader I feel no emotional connection to the discovery. Could have been done with just her last name, so we can’t put two and two together, but that’s what we recognise.
— Aug 29, 2020 09:37AM
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Zsofi’s Previous Updates
Zsofi
is 64% done
Notes for myself, these contain spoilers: “damp-with-sweat hair” what a strange wording! It kind of halts the magic of the story for a moment. ““You should know I’m a very patient man,” he said, stroking her cheek as he pushed aside a limp strand of her dam-with-sweat hair.” Considering the era, would “sweat dampened hair” not be just a hint more appropriate or just sound nicer?
— Aug 29, 2020 09:07AM
