R.F. Gammon’s Reviews > Twilight > Status Update

I know it says it has 501 pages but I'm actually done with it xD Review coming laaaater

The constant guilt and self-put-down in this relationship could probably power a supernova.

What is it about hapless moms in fiction good grief

It’s all fun and baseball games until someone shows up out of the blue to murder your girlfriend

*yawns* *cringes* *weeps* *dies*

“Since coming to Forks it really seemed like my life was ABOUT him.”

Umm...hon you need some help

The only “abnormal” thing about Bella’s brain is how calmly she takes the truth that her crush is a vampire because goodness knows I wouldn’t

“Only you could find trouble in a small town,” he claims.

Clearly he hasn’t been to small towns in the evening.

Jacob: *is fourteen*

Me, who knows how this plays out: *is disturbed*

He says to stay away from him, and then to press his point he offers you a several-hour ride in his car just the two of you which you say YES to because SAFETY!!!!!!