R.F. Gammon’s Reviews > Throne of Glass > Status Update

“He kissed her. It made her jaw hurt.”

The romance is palpable I ship it so hard

“I name you Spirit-Who-Could-Not-Be-Broken.”

Me: I CANT STAND THE DISTANCE, I CANT DREAM ALONE, I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU CUZ IM ON MY WAY HOOOOOOOME

(Brian Adams did it better)

“Her heart was big and as red as her teeth.”

I’m sorry but what

I bid a fond welcome to the iconic SJM “purring.” Honestly, from what I’ve heard, I’m amazed it took this long to show up.

I feel like someone who, as a small child, was forced by her master to slam her hand in the door so hard it broke, should not know what to DO with freedom. There should be some level of PTSD here and it should NOT have to do with dead ol’ Sam.

Some characters in this book:
-Celaena
-Dorian
-Nehemia
-Arobynn

Other characters:
-Sam
-Bill
-Nox

I quake before thee, O Most Feared Assassin named Bill. *shakes in my boots* all I can think of right now is Bill Ferny in LotR...

So how come Celanelanelalnea eats as much as she wants but still has a figure but can’t run but can handle fencing a much bigger man with a regularly sized sword because every one of these contradicts each other

Wait. So. It's a competition to see who's the best fighter, sponsored by the wicked king, with exactly 24 competitors who will be eliminated one by one, each with a sponsor. *taps chin, pretends to think* I've never seen THAT before.

Okay, so she’s vain, sure. Whatever. I’ll suspend my disbelief for that.

But the CROWN PRINCE should NOT think she’s “lovely.” I don’t care how nice he is. She is EMACIATED.

“Oh! I’ve been starving and condemned to hard labor for an entire YEAR now! *sniffles* and the worst part is—I’M NOT BEAUTIFUL ANYMORE!!!! *howls*”