Batgrl (Book Data Kept Elsewhere)’s Reviews > Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir > Status Update

"What I mean is, vampires have their "previous mental capacity," thus by your logic they are "resurrected." Might as well name it "Jesus is bringing you vampires" Cemetery."

"This is why whenever I see disheveled homeless people on the street, screaming to no one in particular about how bears are evil masterminds trying to take over the city, I immediately assume that years earlier they'd found themselves discussing this subject at a dinner party, horrified themselves into a complete breakdown, and then everyone else just wandered away."

At the start of the chapter to assure us what she's not going to talk about: "Potty training is not a fun subject to reminisce about. It's more like a horrible death march through a haunted forest, and the trees are made of angry bears that you're allergic to. And you have to look at pictures of dead people at the same time."

"Was it worse to be homesick for a time that was once home, but lived only in your own mind...or to be homesick for a place that never really existed at all?"

"...You kind of have to be nice if you know that you're trapped in a costume, and that your bathroom breaks are at the mercy of people in the vicinity who own thumbs. Honestly, if we ever run out of straightjackets we could just put crazy people in old mascot costumes."

"If you enjoyed high school you were probably a psychopath or a cheerleader. Or possibly both. Those things aren't mutually exclusive, you know."

I like this alternate chapter title: High School Is Life's Way of Giving You a Record Low to Judge the Rest of Your Life By

"Most people don't go out into the woods to catch armadillos so that their father can race them professionally."