Sarah Yoffa’s Reviews > Kidnapped > Status Update

I'm feeling torn about keeping this on my "reading" shelf or just giving up and admitting I cannot get past all the flaws in plotting / research and lack of professional editing. The characters and story ideas were great; the actual execution was deplorable. Should that be my final word on this? Still mulling that answer.

I had a few minutes to read today and had forgotten how badly-written this story was. Or not "written badly" so much as executed poorly despite great characters. Little aggravations like using the wrong word (conscious for conscience) and stilted attempts to set up justifications for plot twists or character motivations. I shouldn't be aware of these things let alone annoyed at how badly they're done here.

I know I'm a perfectionist (and therefore, expect others to perform at a similarly high level) but any kind of professional editor would've caught 90% of the grammatically and stylistic errors I've run into in this book--and clearly no professional editor ever touched this book--so my thin patience combined with my "knowing better" is making it hard to keep going when the book itself starts to falter.

So we've finally gotten to the kidnapped victim and it's kind of an anticlimax after all the buildup to this man, the scenario, etc. The melodrama reminds me more of a romance novel than a crime thriller but I might also be jaded yet further by the fact that the grammatical mistakes have *increased* not decreased the further I've gotten into this book. It's worn my patience thin, I'm afraid.

In one page, we have head-hopped to 3 different characters' POV which I could almost overlook, but for the awkward choreography that resulted. If one is going to be stilted and awkward in style, at least use correct voice construction. Also, a car chase is not the place for awkward pacing and voice that jolts me out of the scene enough I feel compelled to remark upon it here.

Although I'm still enjoying the story and mostly able to "jump" back into it (after way more than my originally estimated 2 weeks away) I'm finding the amateurish facets bothering me more now. Forex, the mere choreography of a plausible gunfight (or fist fight) seems to elude the author. Tradecraft is laughable. It annoys me more than it would, say in a romance, given this kind of scene is so germaine to this genre.

Finally!! I'm getting to come back to this!

First we had an "ex" Navy SEAL ( who was not, in fact, dead!) and now we have a police detective referred to as "Mr. Nikamoto" - this is the amateurish stuff for which a full star's going to be lost by the time I'm done.

The editing (or rather, lack thereof) continues to distract from my "reader's trance" and being a speed reader, the spelling, grammatical and other missed editorial work are pretty awful, but the story itself gets better the further in I'm getting. Such a shame! At some point, I'll have to figure out a way to separate the -construction- of the book (publisher's work) with the story itself (author's work).