Status Updates From Kidnapped (Tara Shores, #2)

I'm feeling torn about keeping this on my "reading" shelf or just giving up and admitting I cannot get past all the flaws in plotting / research and lack of professional editing. The characters and story ideas were great; the actual execution was deplorable. Should that be my final word on this? Still mulling that answer.

I had a few minutes to read today and had forgotten how badly-written this story was. Or not "written badly" so much as executed poorly despite great characters. Little aggravations like using the wrong word (conscious for conscience) and stilted attempts to set up justifications for plot twists or character motivations. I shouldn't be aware of these things let alone annoyed at how badly they're done here.

I know I'm a perfectionist (and therefore, expect others to perform at a similarly high level) but any kind of professional editor would've caught 90% of the grammatically and stylistic errors I've run into in this book--and clearly no professional editor ever touched this book--so my thin patience combined with my "knowing better" is making it hard to keep going when the book itself starts to falter.

So we've finally gotten to the kidnapped victim and it's kind of an anticlimax after all the buildup to this man, the scenario, etc. The melodrama reminds me more of a romance novel than a crime thriller but I might also be jaded yet further by the fact that the grammatical mistakes have *increased* not decreased the further I've gotten into this book. It's worn my patience thin, I'm afraid.

In one page, we have head-hopped to 3 different characters' POV which I could almost overlook, but for the awkward choreography that resulted. If one is going to be stilted and awkward in style, at least use correct voice construction. Also, a car chase is not the place for awkward pacing and voice that jolts me out of the scene enough I feel compelled to remark upon it here.

Although I'm still enjoying the story and mostly able to "jump" back into it (after way more than my originally estimated 2 weeks away) I'm finding the amateurish facets bothering me more now. Forex, the mere choreography of a plausible gunfight (or fist fight) seems to elude the author. Tradecraft is laughable. It annoys me more than it would, say in a romance, given this kind of scene is so germaine to this genre.

First we had an "ex" Navy SEAL ( who was not, in fact, dead!) and now we have a police detective referred to as "Mr. Nikamoto" - this is the amateurish stuff for which a full star's going to be lost by the time I'm done.

The editing (or rather, lack thereof) continues to distract from my "reader's trance" and being a speed reader, the spelling, grammatical and other missed editorial work are pretty awful, but the story itself gets better the further in I'm getting. Such a shame! At some point, I'll have to figure out a way to separate the -construction- of the book (publisher's work) with the story itself (author's work).

Not sure if Chesler ever read Bujold's MEMORY but this "...“So say they invented a bug that rapidly digested oil that could be used in cleaning up oil spills—they insert their company name and patent office number right into the bug's genes, and then they have a surefire way of identifying their product...” is precisely how a Jacksonian House marked Simon's memory chip--and the actual BUG that destroyed it! :)

Yet more issues that COULD have been fixed by a professional editor but clearly weren't: "...“some were release forms, requiring the person submitting the sample to be sequenced to affirm that the material was not a [threat].." makes it sound like the person should be sequenced, not the sample. This is really basic grammar--and not the only instance of an error :-( Really ruins the story for me to have these.

The head-hopping is severe enough, I have now had to read the same scene 3 times to figure out whose POV it *should* have been. I definitely should NOT be spending so much focus on mechanical construction that an editor should have caught RATHER than reading a story that finally had started to hook me. Now I'm lost again :-( This book needs professional editing! Big time.

Love the red fish boat logo, lapel pin connection. Great plotting points there :-)

This is a perfect example of what I mean by amateurish tradecraft: Chesler says "...a “black Rigid-hull Inflatable Boat (RIB)” when I do believe what he wanted to say was Zodiac :) Yeah, it's a black, rigid-hull inflatable boat but it's a specific kind and I think that's the image he wanted--he just didn't know to call it a Zodiac. At least, I -hope- it was ignorance and not a deliberate choice to avoid the term!

I find the little plot twist about Lance + the kidnappers interesting but at a mere 16% into the book, I know (or hope?) there's gotta be more to this! At least this finally makes the crafting of the story go up a notch in my mind though Chesler's tradecraft is definitely amateurish.

The head-hopping in this section is beginning to grate on my editorial nerves, but at least it"s distracting me from the naivetee of the tradecraft. On the upside, Tara Shores is already my favorite character. Since she is the lead, good thing I like her!

Maybe I should keep track of the frequency of obvious editorial errors? The following is all munged together in one line like a run-on paragraph: "“Can you tell us his name?” “Dave Turner.” “And is Mr. Turner a suspect in his boss’ murder at this time?” “No, sir, not at this time.” “A person of interest?”

Wow, this is clearly an editorial error: "...“When no word had come from the When Alacra was not contacted as expected, they focused on next of kin,...." I cannot even figure out what that is supposed to say! There's just too much missing or misplaced. If this were the first editorial error, I'd brush it off, but it's about the 8th or 10th and I'm bare into the book!

Sadly, I suspect the scientist in me is going to be incessantly annoyed at the lack of scientific research or reality-based scientific speculation in this book (or series, for that matter) Definitely a disappointment, as I had hoped to read a story with solid genetic theory behind it. Oh well.

Ah no my fear has been realized: "...“So even though millions of genes may turn out to be mere “junk” sequences—stretches of DNA that coded for nothing useful—it was the one-in-a-million gene that did code for some useful function that made Archer rich.” The REALITY is that billions (not millions) of genetic sequences were defined in the Human Genome Project in the 1980s + millions WERE defined as "junk"

The pacing is still slow in this POV section and the grammatical errors are more prevalent than they were in other POV sections -- again leading me to wonder if there were separately-edited sections? -- but at least the backfill is more interesting than the "present story" part.

I really hope Chesler remains solidly VAGUE because I suspect (based on what I've read so far) that he doesn't know as much about genetic engineering and genetic theory as he'd like us to believe. I'll have to remember to suggest Chesler read Robert J. Sawyer's FACTORING HUMANITY and other SF stories of Sawyer's w/genetic eng. as the science at the kernel. Sawyer does it much better I can tell already :-( ah well

The author uses the term "ex-SEAL" - need I really say more? *ugh*

It's kind of like when you're watching a movie and someone fires 100 rounds out of a handgun without EVER reloading. Pretty much proves the writers had not a single clue how guns work. This is proving the author has not a single clue how the alphabet agencies do business or interact (or fail to interact) and one would hope an outside editor would have caught that (at least suggested the author do research into it?)

Okay this kind of thing bugs me no end: the missing person case which book blurbage already told me is going to be at the crux of the story was turned over to the FBI (which handles domestic-only issues INCONUS) because (the book claims) the guy had "international connections." Besides that being an absurd basis for a governmental interest, it would go to the CIA--which handles international OCONUS incidents.