M.J.’s Reviews > Seers of Light > Status Update
M.J.
is on page 23 of 396
Time flow is a little confusing. There's a lot of dialogue which is making the pacing go too quickly. I do not understand Lily's hatred of William. I don't think things were fleshed out well enough for to her to hate him so. Christian seems like a jerk to me. It's like I can tell why Lily is supposed to feel as she does, but I don't feel it. Maybe there needs to be more showing?
— Apr 26, 2017 08:55AM
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M.J.’s Previous Updates
M.J.
is on page 27 of 396
I don't mind cussing, but it doesn't feel like it's justified most of the time. I find it hard to believe that a Governor's wife would swear so casually especially the governor of Georgia. Not meaning to be so critical. Interesting concept.
— Apr 26, 2017 09:46AM
M.J.
is on page 23 of 396
Time flow is a little confusing. There's a lot of dialogue which is making the pacing go too quickly. I do not understand Lily's hatred of William. I don't think things were fleshed out well enough for to her to hate him so. Christian seems like a jerk to me. It's like I can tell why Lily is supposed to feel as she does, but I don't feel it. Maybe there needs to be more showing?
— Apr 26, 2017 08:55AM
M.J.
is on page 2 of 396
First thoughts: Opening was good. Her calling her grandparents by their name in the narration is a bit off to me. Not sure the main character sounds like a 28 year old. Seems younger.
— Apr 26, 2017 05:20AM
