Jess’s Reviews > Saving 6 > Status Update

I physically watched the light in his eyes leave that day, and nothing I’d been able to say or do since had been able to reignite that spark.

I wanted to save him.
I felt like I was watching him drown. That I was desperately reaching my hand out, but his pride was so potent that it meant he would rather go under than let me pull him to safety.
I knew he wasn't clean.
Hadn't been since the day after Halloween when I had made the fatal decision of admitting to him that his father had made another pass at me.

Being in love with someone who was hell-bent on self-destructing was such a lonely place to exist. I felt incredibly helpless, watching on as my boyfriend buried his secrets with lie upon countless lie.

My heart cracked clean open when I felt the first tear land on my colarbone, followed by another and another.
He was still moving inside me, still taking what he needed from me, but he was broken.
And I was terrified that I couldn't fix him.

"Get that cunt out of my house, ya little bastard!"
Exhaling a pained groan, Joey clenched his eyes and buried his face in my neck. "Aoif-“
"I love you, Joey Lynch," I whispered, cradling his face to my neck as he thrust inside me, hips moving almost frantically. "I love you so much."

Shannon laughed and then asked, "So, is Aoife the reason..." clearing her throat, she said in a much quieter tone, "you decided to, ah, well, you know..." she cupped her hands around her mouth before whispering, "don't hang out with Shane Holland and those guys?"
She's certainly the reason l've become so good at hiding it.
"Yeah, Shan," I said, feeling like a piece of shit. "She is."

"So, no other girls tucked away to one side?"
"No." I shook my head. "No other girls."
"Wow, Joe." She waggled her brows. "It kind of sounds like you might be in looooove?"
"I am."
"Oh my god." Her eyes bulged. "I was half expecting you to deny it."
"Ther's no point." I shrugged. "I love the girl. It is what it is."

"She's very beautiful, Joe."
"Yeah, I know, Shan."
"Like seriously stunning," she offered. "The boys in third year are always talking about her."
"The boys in third year have good taste."
"How long have you been together?"
"A few months."
"Is it serious?"
"Define serious?"
"Are you exclusive?"
"Yeah, we are."

"You're so strange." He threw his head back and laughed. "I love it."
"You mean you love me," I teased, grinning up at him.
"Yeah, Molloy." His eyes burned with sincerity when he said, "That's exactly what I mean." Finally!