Jess’s Reviews > Saving 6 > Status Update

"Don't push it," I grumbled, tightening my hold on her waist, as I felt myself grow with the need to be inside her. To fall into her and never come up for air.
"You adore the ground I walk on."
Yeah, I had a feeling she might be right, but I would never verbally admit it.

"Across your heart," she continued to goad, as she grinned up at me in victory. I was bowing down, and she knew it. This round was hers.
"Because that's where I stay."

"And we're going to see each other at school, and its not going to be fucked up and awkward because we both remember that before we
were us, we were...
"Us," she filled in softly.
"Exactly. I'm not replacing you, Molly. I couldn't. "I'm trying to fix me." For you.

"And you're going to go off and do your thing with Casey, and the girls, and you're going to have a fucking epic time," I continued.
"And you're not going to worry about what I'm doing or who I'm with, because you already know that you've got my heart in your ass pocket."

"How's this?" I offered instead. "I'm going to go and do my thing for a while, clear my head, and get my shit together."
"Without me," she whispered numbly.
For you.

"No, because you're not saying what I need you to say."
"You want the words?" Roughly clearing my throat, I sucked in a sharp breath before saying, "Fine; I love you, Aoife Molloy."
"Don't."
"I love you," I reiterated, eyes locked on hers, as I brushed away a tear from her cheek. "I love you more than I have ever loved another person in my life, and that's not an exaggeration. That's the god honest truth."

That the only solace I'd ever been able to find had been in the soothing drag of a joint, or a mind-altering line of coke, in the numbing effect of benzos, or the thrilling buzz of uppers?
How could I forget the euphoric fucking feeling of heroin?
Because Molloy didn't know what it felt like to wake up every morning with a strong inclination to attempt suicide.

How did you justify addiction to someone who had never lived through it?
How was I supposed to make her understand that, for most of my life, I had been desperate to escape.

"I know," he ground out. "That's exactly why I did what I did." He pressed a kiss to my damp hair and wrapped me tighter in his arms.
"You need to understand that this is a hill that I've been climbing since before we met. This is my demon to slay." He released a torn growl and clung to me. "None of this is on you."

"But it's never going to be enough for you!" Losing the battle with my emotions, I clutched my head in my hands and released an agonized scream. "I'm never going to be enough for you because my love doesn't come in the form of a powder that you can snort up your nose or inject in your veins-"