Andrew Krok’s Reviews > When You Are Engulfed in Flames > Status Update

“A flight attendant addresses me as ‘Mr. Sedaris,’ and I feel sorry that she’s forced to memorize my name rather than, say, her granddaughter’s cell phone number.”

“Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit.”

god i wish i wrote this well

“My second most expensive purchase was a pair of shoes that look like they belong to a clown.”