Harry Whitewolf > Status Update

Harry Whitewolf
Harry Whitewolf added a status update
I've got a plan. I'm going to write some Daily Mail style funny poetry about Simon Cowell and how great Britain is and perform it at Britain's Got Talent auditions. Then I'll win the show and go on The Royal Variety Performance and unleash my true colours with a poem called Fuck The Queen.

I can't see anything going wrong with that.
Jul 19, 2016 12:38PM

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message 1: by Elisabet (new)

Elisabet Norris I'm curious....are you wearing your cable head costume for the audition?


message 2: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf Lisa wrote: "I'm curious....are you wearing your cable head costume for the audition?"

No, only for the performance in front of the queen. :)


message 3: by Andy (new)

Andy Cowell once called The Stranglers the worst band he's ever seen and this cunt thinks he can judge talent? Fuck him. But good luck on your performance.


message 4: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf Andy wrote: "Cowell once called The Stranglers the worst band he's ever seen and this cunt thinks he can judge talent? Fuck him. But good luck on your performance."

I already knew Cowell was a cunt but that Stranglers comment makes him even more of an A grade cunt!

Whatever happened to all those heroes? :)


message 5: by Tracy (new)

Tracy Reilly WhaT?? He belongs on one of those blancmange shows.


message 6: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf Simon Cowell is a blancmange!

This started off as a joke, but I'm actually warming to the idea of doing it. I'd never win though of course, so I'd have to just pray I got through to a live show to do a 'real' poem. I'm pretty sure I could knock up some shitty bollocks poem for the auditions that the crowd would love.


message 7: by Mike (new)

Mike Robbins If he's a blancmange, he should clearly get his just desserts.


message 8: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf Mike wrote: "If he's a blancmange, he should clearly get his just desserts."

I thought I used puns too much...

Yours are a trifle better than mine though.


message 9: by Mike (new)

Mike Robbins Harry wrote: "Mike wrote: "If he's a blancmange, he should clearly get his just desserts."

I thought I used puns too much...

Yours are a trifle better than mine though."


I don't know, sometimes yours really take the biscuit.


message 10: by Andy (new)

Andy Yeah, The Cow remarked about all these yobs spitting and how the band couldn't play, like watching a Walmart boxboy shriek "Stand By Me" is real music.


message 11: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf Andy wrote: "Yeah, The Cow remarked about all these yobs spitting and how the band couldn't play, like watching a Walmart boxboy shriek "Stand By Me" is real music."

That's probably a good thing. The day that Cowell markets a punk band I'll have no option but to kill myself.


message 12: by Andy (new)

Andy Well, in any event if you ever do a reading I would like to offer myself as the support act, like when The Damned opened for T. Rex.


message 13: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf Andy wrote: "Well, in any event if you ever do a reading I would like to offer myself as the support act, like when The Damned opened for T. Rex."

Wow - would love to do a gig with you Andy, but you've gotta be the headliner of course! See you in Hollywood. :)


message 14: by Andy (new)

Andy Promises to be a highly disturbing show, and it's about time poetry got a little disturbing. (Simon Cowell +1 on the pest list).


message 15: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf Oh we definitely have to invite Simon Cowell.

(Do you play solo gigs?)


message 16: by Andy (new)

Andy I haven't yet.


message 17: by Jason (new)

Jason whats the stranglers? are they like....hang on off to google......the one direction?


message 18: by Andy (new)

Andy Take That.


message 19: by Jason (new)

Jason is that a band or did you just hit me? either way "Ow!"


message 20: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf Andy wrote: "I haven't yet."

About time you did then. :)


message 21: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf Jason wrote: "whats the stranglers? are they like....hang on off to google......the one direction?"

I think they wrote a song about Peaches Geldof.


message 22: by Jason (new)

Jason wasn't that The presidents of the USA?


message 23: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf Jason wrote: "wasn't that The presidents of the USA?"

I've got a lovely 7 inch picture disc of that song.


message 24: by Jason (new)

Jason just been watching the video, awesome ninja fighting.


message 25: by Harry (new)

Harry Whitewolf They did a great version of Video Killed The Radio Star 'n' all.


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