Nate > Recent Status Updates

Attn: All writers not from Arizona
Re: How you guys write Arizonans.

Please stop writing us as goofy hickish Southeners equipped with these ridiculous Bible Belt accents. Arizonans have the cleanest, least-accented English in the universe. And we're not in The South.

It is customary to kneel, when surrendering to a king.

https://youtu.be/4NqhUMdyDmc

For some reason I expected Barker to have a much less pleasant voice. It's kind of weird, because this book is utterly fucked up.

Digging this Clive Barker fellow...dude seems able to be both funny and disturbing as hell, sometimes simultaneously.

Just wanna dedicate this one to Game of Thrones...it was good while it lasted, babe...but I have to do the right thing and stick with the books.

https://youtu.be/-UzkOrdKUII

Moral of the story kiddies...don't fuck with people and their animals.

Sensing someone else in the room with me, I would look up and see the Other Wilkie sitting silently in the yellow-upholstered spiderweb-backed chair in the far corner. I would go back to work, but when I looked up again, the Other Wilkie would have somehow silently advanced until he was sitting in the curved-back wooden chair I keep near my desk for guests.

I wanna dedicate this one to the lost dog I found cowering in the brush behind my apartment...I wish I didn't have to give you back, buddy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLq7A...

Doppelgänger content...truly one of the creepiest ideas ever.

This book is so fucking morbid and weird...I love it.

Also, I somehow bought a used ARC and there's a typo here where Detective Hatchery calls Drood "Mr. Dood." I will forever cherish this copy.

Jesus...Victorian London was fucking gross. Also, I can't stop wondering what laudanum tastes like now.

Wow...Teddy Roosevelt is a MASSIVE douchebag in this book!

Hercule Poirot? Wasn't that the bald little mustachioed Gallic detective my parents used to bore me to tears with every Sunday?

Holmes is a full-on fourth-wall-bending junkie and Henry James just verbally bitchslapped Mark Twain for talking shit about his novel The Bostonians. This is literary greatness, people.

Guys, this "heroin" sounds like the best thing ever. I think I'm gonna give it a shot! What's the worst that could happen?

I'm really glad Holmes finally broke his coke addiction! Heroin truly is the better choice.

Just watched Interstellar for the second time...fellow sci-fi nerds, please check this one out if you haven't. Also dig the prominent display of The Big Nowhere by Ellroy during the "tesseract" sequence.

So that's where Blue Duck came from...I also find it hilarious/disturbing that even Buffalo Hump is like, "Dude...chill the fuck out."

All this horrible scalping/genital mutilation is kinda reminded me of an Allan W. Eckert book. Good times!

Someone hold my book for me...I totally broke my body caving last night.

Reading these in chronological order instead of publication because I watched Lonesome Dove last year and need to burn it out of my head before I get to it.

My job as a grocery peon gives me the opportunity to have wonderful book-related conversations with people, like this one:

Me (upon seeing the lady I'm helping is buying a James Patterson novel:) Nice! You like mysteries, huh?

Lady: No, not necessarily. *Walks off*

Me: :|

To Damian:

The beach scene was indeed fucked.

My best,
Nate

A rogue AI crashes on a dead planet quarantined by a "superspecies" of energy life-forms and a dude that can change appearance at will and has poisonous claws and spit is sent to get it. Neat!

Orbit seriously makes the most beautiful paperbacks in existence. I also love the stuff they do for Joe Abercrombie.

I just wanna congratulate the Knights Templar on their recent reprieve from heresy by the Vatican! From the official statement: "Yeah...we basically realized that Philip IV was a total dick."

Flashy is forced by Otto von Bismarck to impersonate a Teutonic Duke until his dose of clap goes away...yeah, these books are still ridiculous.

Re: Bay of Pigs.


...Well. That didn't go very well, did it?

These books are cripplingly addicting. I can't stop reading them!