dangerous at every speed > Recent Status Updates

i meant to update my progress for this then got distracted deep-diving king crimson & watching drew gooden for 3 hours

it’s so simple but it’s so GOOD

every page feels like 10 page worth of depth & meaning it's uh,, incroyable

oh HELL YEAH BABY thé linguistics nerd is BACK

I don’t know why I don’t listen to this more. It’s so good. I wanna get a copy from the library and read it physically as well, just to get the complete experience.

now i am REALLY enjoying this

hmm 🤔

Me: am i allowed 2 be good and evil at the same time?
Higher self: look around, bb. That’s all there is.

I don’t want to age or die. What I want is to be impervious to all of that. And if I can’t deafest time and death, then let me at least be impervious to what other people think of me. I want to be beyond reproach. Let me at least try.

My spirit doesn’t want me frozen. My spirit is the kind of spirit that doesn’t want me to hurt myself for physical beauty, but my spirit is not n interventionist spirit unless I get quiet enough to listen to it. To be honest, I don’t really want to listen to my spirit. My spirit got me into this mess of becoming human in the first place.

art style is p good. story is meandering a bit but i can feel it’s just setting up

just break my heart ok

« Like, I just want to be okay in this world. I don’t trust myself to find that okayness alone. I guess I don’t really trust the universe to give it to me, either. I want to know exactly where my next peace of mind is coming from. And if feels good to know that something has my back, even if it makes my life really small and might kill me. »

« dad would have his eggnog, and he would get drunk enough to give her a hug. » FUCK OK

every day i say « i’ll finish this tomorrow » then DON’T

this is heartbreakingly (so) sad, today

i need to uh, stop taking 7 day breaks between books

holy fuck i could keep reading this for another 500 pages

i am mostly just ready to get this over with

Something in me punishes me
From all my lives ago:
— we gave you everything you needed to understand
And you preferred the waiting,
As if everything were announcing the poem to you
(The one you’ll never write because it is an unreachable garden

— “I just came to see the garden.”)

Coger y morir no tienen adjectivos

“I want to exist as what I am: as a fixed idea. I want to bark, instead of praising the silence of the space you’re born into.”

“The one who didn’t know how to die of love and so couldn’t learn a thing.
She is sad because she is not there.”

i have a newfound love for chunky big books. they make an immensely satisfying sound

i just can’t describe how beautiful this poetry is

In love with the words that create small nights in the uncreatedness of the day and its ferocious void.

To Search
« Not verb, but vertigo. Does not indicate action. Does not mean ‘to go meet someone’ but rather ‘to lie there because someone doesn’t arrive’ »

Was this all it took to be cleansed: one beautiful person to treat you kindly and gently, and you were exonerated?

...I wondered how much of everything I had seen or thought I’d seen in my lifetime had been only illusion like that. I wondered if anything was really living or if anything had ever lived.

Who even knew what was killing me more: the pain itself or the fight against the pain? I was seeing, hearing, and feeling too much. I felt that if I did not leave the room in that moment that I would suffocate on something - the feeling or the resistance to the feeling - and I would die.