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They knew how to breathe new life into him day after day and see what they had as special. They were like living psalms. There were no holes in their lives. Those women had never met a void a day in their life. They simply didn’t see any.

What was wrong with us? There were women on the planet who so easily accepted their paths. They were destined to like what they were given, and were given just enough, so that everything fell into place. Those women instinctively knew how to get a man and keep a man, each man interchangeable with the next: a torso, a dick, a pair of hands. Those women knew how to embrace whichever assembly-line man they were given

“Was a feeling the only eternal thing, despite the fact that everyone said it would pass?”

“Was this how it was with all men? Did they all exist in a totally different reality — one in which you couldn’t ask certain questions or the spell would be broken? But it was the same for me. When a man held me at arm’s length I wanted him. But if he came closer, stayed too close for too long, the spell was broken for me: the myth dissolved. He wasn’t who I thought he was. What was love without the spell?

“It doesn’t matter whether we know what’s good or bad for us, I thought. It doesn’t fucking matter one bit.”

“In my head came a deep buzz of the Earth again and I didn’t know if I was actually humming out loud or if it was all inside me. This is how you exist in the world, I thought. This is how you are alive.”

“And why would I choose to recover unless everything was total and complete shit? If there was one sparkle, one possibility of getting as high as I could get off a person, why would I throw that potentiality away? You had to hold out for these moments until you knew for sure they were gone and never coming back. I didn’t want the group to ruin the way I felt.”

« This is why the Greeks needed myth: for that boundary, to know where they stood amidst the infinite. No one can simply coexist with the ocean, storms, cypress trees. No one can simply codify the elements with language and greater meaning, and create gods out of them - gods who looked suspiciously like themselves - so that even if they were powerless over nature, there were better versions of them in control. »

« Seeing myself through the eyes of a projection, however uncomfortable the judgement, made me feel safe in a strange way. It was like a box in which to live: a boundary against the greater nothingness, to think one knew something about what others thought of you. And perhaps it was a prison, to have to begin and end, but it was also a relief. »

“I couldn’t help but think that they just wanted more people to be as fucked up as they were. The more fuck-ups like them, the less alone they were — maybe even the less fucked up they were. If everyone was fucked up in the same way as you then maybe you weren’t so fucked up.”

“The only way to maybe have satisfaction would be to accept the nothingness and not try to put anyone else in it.”

“No one really wanted satiety. It was the prospect of satiety — the excitement around the notion that we could ever be satisfied — that kept us going. But if you were ever actually satisfied — that kept us going. But if you were ever actually satisfied it wouldn’t be satisfaction. You would just get hungry for something else.”

« Existence always looked like something other than I thought it would. »

« I craved that nurturing, to be swallowed up in the arms of Aphrodite herself, rocked and held. But I was afraid to ask women for it, afraid they would die on me or reject me in some other way. So I looked for it in men who could not give it. »

« It was one of those moments when you look at a person you have loved for a long time and everything is wrong with them. There is absolutely nothing right. You cannot believe you were ever captivated by them in the first place. »

“I hated their ease with everything. I hated their lack of loneliness, their sense of time stretching out languidly like something to be toyed with, as though it were never going to get too late tonight or in their lives. I didn’t know who I resented more.”

“Whether these were those people or not, I knew that in this moment neither of them was asking that question. If they had tasted the nausea of not knowing why we are here or who we are, or if they had not, now they were wilfully and successfully ignoring it. Or maybe they were just stupid. Oh, the sweet gift of stupidity. I envied them.”

update the powerpoint was two hours long

“within the hour the colonels descended on the camp with powerpoint presentations”

ohwowowowowow our government sucks a lot

holy shit i’m enjoying just watching horror movies n reading n messaging my boos

i may just have to get myself my own copy of this it’s that good

we’re getting there folks

Slow, but I’m dealing

The obnoxious linguistics student enrolled in a Cantonese class to “understand the architecture of the thing” is such a FUCKING MOOD

But life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present, and fear the future. When they come to the end of it, the poor wretches realise too late that for all this time they have been preoccupied in doing nothing. And the fact that they sometimes invoke death is no proof that their lives seem long. They often long for death because they fear it."
seneca, roasting millennial humour

"when they have duly finished their crazy rounds"
um seneca just @ me next time, damn

i feel like im not fully concentrating on this but i think i just, am not 100% enthralled by it

this is,,, a marathon

interessante