David > Recent Status Updates

They don't expect immediate results.
Delaying gratification is one of the most challenging and most useful abilities! We all want what we want NOW, not at some indeterminate point in the future! Strategies are offered for trying to do better.
Sad to read that Rudy of inspirational movie fame was indicted for securities fraud in 2011 because he couldn't wait to cash in on stock holdings.

They don't feel the world owes them anything.

There's healthy and unhealthy self-esteem - be cautious not to stray into the feeling that you're better than others, that you're owed something because of some situation you've experienced or are currently living through, because that's just not how things work.

Lots of family history/genealogy in chapter 1 (after the intro describing the last day in the Obama white house), basically making the point that she is from a family of achievers who worked for what they got, overcoming obstacles all along the way.

Brennan gets promoted to be a department manager with many reports who had more experience than he, and he really had no mgmt experience. Predictably, he ruffled feathers trying to make all reports from the department be in his style. Eventually on of the senior analysts gave him a talking-to to try to improve things; evidently it worked.

He almost lost his marriage, not tending to the relationship while starting his CIA career, but managed to reconcile. Then they went off to Saudi Arabia for a couple years with the promise of buying a home when they returned.

They don't fear alone time.
Basically, consider meditation or a similar kind of alone time to let your mind be still. Don't be like the woman who got so stressed that she basically disassociated herself from her brain and woke up in the hospital remembering nothing after she was noticed at a gas station, not knowing who she was or where she lived. Evidently, extreme shit can happen!

They don't give up after the first failure.
Like the father-in-law pilot who shook everyone's hand as they came off the plane, calling each one Mr. Smith, till he found the actual Mr. Smith.

About Failure.
Not sure I will summarize accurately, but I think the gist is that it can be seductive to want to act in response to injustices in ways that might make us feel better, heroic even, but don't necessarily further the cause we're supporting. We should measure our effectiveness by our results, not by our intentions.

Exploring gender racism and sexuality racism. He relays info about relationships he's had with strong defenders of Black women and Black queer/transgender people.

They don't resent other people's success. Like Dan, who disliked neighbors because their cars were nicer or they took fancier vacations.

Integration is not necessarily a good thing, he argues, at least partly because it teaches black youth they must blend into white spaces and that their own culture is inferior instead of just different.

The first chapter hits on the transition of the Trump group into the WH as he was departing, and his critiques are pretty scathing. Now we're going back to the origin story, his upbringing and college life, like his college summer spent in Jakarta.

They don't make the same mistake over and over (like Kristy who struggled not to yell at her teenagers in the evening when they didn't do what they were supposed to do).

They don't dwell on the past.
As she says, dwelling on the past distracts you from the present.

They're trekking through the remote desert now, at night, but have to be still several hours to wait out prime patrolling hours. Even then, there are vigilante 'patrols' unexpectedly near their path, so they wait tensely again until it's clear. They finally make it to their camp for the day. One good break: a benevolent group has left water at on location for them, so they can at least hydrate.

They've been grouped together with others for the attempt to get into the USA. It's a sizable group, at least 10. Finally the night has arrived for them to make the attempt. Fortunately for Beto another of the men has an extra jacket to give him or he was going to be left behind. They have started the trek through the desert, hoping they can last while moving undetected.

More progress, and they meet Beto from Tijuana who was on a southbound train of deported people but made the switch to go north. Nogales is supposed to be easier for crossing - Tijuana sound almost military, with drones and patrols.

They pay a high price to be released, and because of Luca's insistence they also save the two sisters, depleting their cash supply further still. A good Samaritan dr. spots them along the road in the dark and helps them, plus takes them to the train 20 miles away the next morning. During that night, Soledad miscarried. Life is brutal for these refugees.

It was inevitable they would be caught by agents, wasn't it? And the signs of the capture combined with their knowledge of previous atrocities has Lydia convinced they're all going to be killed.

They haven't been caught yet :-)
They have made some progress toward el norte, but they have far to go. We've picked up some back story of the 2 teens they've been with a few days, and just found out their father was ambushed and stabbed multiple times including in the eye, probably because his girls ran. A boy the recognize from earlier seems to be fleeing from the cartel gang as well but is a source of info.

They run across teen sisters aling the train tracks who share some tips, about using an overpass to jump on the train. There's a flashback memory of Sebastian and the story that led to the executions. And they stick with the girls a while, who get them the best meal they've had so far.