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"Was Alice building, for more than a decade, whether she knew it or not, one long deconstructed suicide note?"

“You often dreamed of a guilt so grave you fell to your knees in the garden”

"To examine happiness is to prod it, doubt it, seek out its inconsistencies lest it turn out to be fraudulent... Put contentment through the wringer long enough and often enough, and disillusionment will inevitably squeeze out. Is this the happiest I could be? Is there a Platonic ideal of 'better' I haven't accessed? Am I left vulnerable, at risk until I do?"


Goddamn.

"But if we're committed to the linear narrative of recovery...we have no way of determining if any postlow wellness is in fact the climax. If there's always the possibility of a 'better' better, we'll never know if it has arrived. And if our dream for the future hinges on reaching that unknowable destination, how can we possibly expect to meet it?"