Stefan > Recent Status Updates

Damn... If I knew I could read entire Oathbringer on GR update feed I wouldn't bother with buying it in the first place...

It's nice to finally meet you, Esslemont.

God, I really dislike characters like Anomander Rake. Everyone stops and holds their breaths in anticipation of his actions; everything he does has significant ramifications for society.
Even his farts.
Every sentence he utters is yet another philosophical proclamation in arrogant presumption of self-righteousness.

I tend to agree with Envy: he really is a pompous fool.
Silchas is far more interesting brother.

'And is your wife buxom, golden locked blossom-cheeked and inclined to snoring?'
'Yes, all those things!'
'In the company of a true warrior of a man, wearing nothing but rags and yet freshly scarred and scabbed from head to toe?'
'Did you hear that? She's had her way with him! Torn his clothes to shreds! Clawed and bitten and scratched in her lustful frenzy! She's never done all that to any of us, damn her!'

:D

"One day, I fear, our world will be inundated with a multitude of people with little to say, but all the time in the world in which to say it.
The cacophony will deafen us all, until we are insensate, drunk on the trivial.
Upon that day, civilization will die with little fanfare, much less anyone's noticing."

Too much on the nose, S. Whatever happened with subtlety...

Three husbands are chasing their runaway wife.
Along the way, while discussing will one of their cooking skills be sufficient enough punishment for her when they finally catch her, they stumble upon a dragon.
Battle ensues.
Dragon barely escapes with its life.
"Now, about that cooking..." - one of the husbands casually continues, while dusting what's left of his clothes...

It's really great how I can give a best 'book of the year' vote...

...to a book that hasn't even came out yet.

And the fact how it totally skipped the first round, but now it's in the semifinals, and it probably will be in the finals - all of which before the book itself is even released.

Flawless, Goodreads. Flawless.

OK, let's try and do some actual progress today!

Well hello there, Scara Bandaris.



You disgustingly overgrown wriggling crocodile.

"Disobey at peril at your life.
If not your life, then your freedom, and if not your freedom then your will, and if not your will, then your desire.
What are these?
They are coins of varying measure, a gradient of worth and value.
Rule my flesh, rule my soul. The currency is the same."

"Peace did not serve order; order served peace.
And when order became godlike, sacrosanct and inviolate, then the peace thus won became a prison.
Those who sought their freedom became enemies to order.
And in elimination of such enemies - peace was lost."

“Could we—oh gods, could we—have ever imagined the blood they would sacrifice in our name?”
There will be peace.

There will be peace.
Just how paradoxical this is. Naive. Foolish.

God, I've missed this world...

Dramatis Personae includes:

Anomander, Andarist, Silchas Ruin;
Draconus, Envy, Spite;
Sandalath Drukorlat, Orfantal;
Osserc;
Scara Bandaris, Kagamandra Tulas;
Kilmandaros, Sechul Lath, Caladan Brood;
Hood, Gothos;
Mother Dark!

Gibberish? No. Legends.
I think I'm in heaven....

"'Books are just stories about things. Why should I want to read books?'
'Ah, boy, how can I be mad at you... what a wonderful, charming, perfectly stupid thing to say!'"

Lemme at em, Merlin, lemme at em!

"What is the physical process of sight? Did anyone teach you that?

Light comes from the sun, chaotic white light. It strikes an object and reflects from that object.
The act of reflection partially orders the light.
Those reflected rays enter your eyes.
What you see is not the object at all, but the light reflected from the object.
That is why you can't see in the dark."

Well, everything I knew was a lie.

"clunk...clink...clunk...
clink...clink...clunk...
Sweat was pouring from his face, and he was breathing hard.
clink...clunk...
Crack!... Whssssst.
Suddenly, it was over."

What? Forging an iron? Or a duel?
This is ridiculous.

I know I'm 26 years and 19 books in the series late when I say this, but this book feels like a such wasted potential.
Please be wrong by the end of it, Stef. Please be wrong. :/

"It was not so different from dealing with adults, she supposed - they embraced whatever supported their worldview, and rejected anything that might disrupt it.
But that was far more transparent in this young child."

You stop reading my review after fifth paragraph because you don't like what you see there...

...instead of finishing it through and making your argument based on entire piece...

...you go into a 12 year old rant mode and start calling me stupid?

Yeah... do I need a pun here? :D

*Giant ice-dragon appears out of nowhere*
"As a swordsman of decades of experience, his professional opinion rapidly concluded that a saber wasn't worth a damned thing under these circumstances."

Her prose is so sassy. Is that a thing? It should be a thing.
Level of badmouthing her protagonists is staggering.

Also, 8 pages of description of a character moving from her bed to a balcony? I'm speechless.

Ah. Richard Anderson, we meet again.
You do know that at some point I'll actually have to start reading the book and stop gazing at your cover?

Jeez, does everyone need to be racist in this book?

Lighteyes hate anyone non-lighteye.
Darkeyes hate lighteyes and Parsh people.
Parshendi hate everyone, including themselves.
And since everyone hate Parsh people it only fits to make them main villains, right?

Can't find logic even if I'm crazy enough to try and argue with it.

Act 1:
Two heroes talking:

"See that sinister looking fellow? The only ugly guy in our story. The one who said he hates us and wants to kill us. Yeah, I bet he's the main villain."
"Nooo! How do you know that?"
"Hunch."

Act 2:
First big battle:

"Ugly sinister fellow! You saved us! You're clearly a good guy!"

Act 3:
Second big battle. Heroes dying:

"But... ugly fellow... why betraying us... such cliche..."

End.

"Sadeas's hand had gone to his sword. Not a Shardblade, for Sadeas didn't have one."

Yes. I needed a reminder, since I wasn't careful enough not a chapter ago when you mentioned it for the first time:

"The highprince hated that Adolin had a blade while Sadeas had none"

Or the second time:

<>"Sadeas was calling for his grandbow."<>

Let me guess. Since he didn't have a Shardblade, right?

"A whore joke, Wit? Is that the best you can manage?"
"I point out truths when I see them, Brightlord Sadeas. Each man has his place. Mine is to make insults. Yours is to be in-sluts."

Somewhere a 12 year old laughed at this.

“I can see you are a woman of discriminating taste.”
“I am. I do like my meals prepared very carefully, as my palate is quite delicate.”
“Pardon. I meant that you have discriminating taste in books.”
“I’ve never eaten one, actually.”

It's really not your fault, Shallan. You deserve better dialogue. And wit. And character. And story. And book. But most of all...