Status Updates From Home for Christmas: Stories...

This first paragraph sounds more like Passover.

So...what? Was Jesus reincarnated or something?

Missing quotation mark.

"...you will see a vision of it in with water."

I assume that's supposed to be "in THE water?" I don't know, that just seems like a weird way to phrase it.

The penultimate paragraph doesn't make sense, as it describes Jacob stopping Jacob from killing the protagonist. Clearly it meant that Simon stopped him.

Typo: a "Mother" that should be capitalized.

"...then a large bottle of Coke and a two-pound bag of potato chips..."

I miss not being on a diet.

"'So we're trying to start a lawsuit? Then you ought to find yourself an advocate.'
"'Just let me in, and I'll find one in a hurry.'"

Hate to break it to you, Willibald, but I don't think you're going to find many lawyers in Heaven.

I see Brother Francis' trick. He's gonna eat the whole soup while Angelo gets murdered.