Status Updates From ヴァニタスの手記 7

"don't set me free bc it's not freedom unless we're together. loneliness is never the salvation, it's always the cage." hm i wonder if this idea will come back later with a different pairing.......one that is just as tragic but much more gay

"what is the point of salvation without you?" this story just keeps adding more and more layers to that ever-present question of "what is salvation?" and i am eating it up!!! chloé and jean-jacques have both been desperately trying to set the other free for so many years, but this is the first time they've realized that the freedom they seek can only exist if they're together. anything else would be hell

so chloé really believed that the d'apchiers deserved to take revenge on her????? FOR WHAT????? i mean i guess the church killed the last of them because they assumed they were concealing a vampire but that's still not her fault????? her only crime has ever been existing. but i guess after all those centuries she learned to internalize the guilt of it all and take responsibility for all the pain of her family

oh that's so tragic noé my love!!!!!! the parallel of chloé/jean-jacques and louis/noé mmhmmm. but also the contrast of vanitas pointing out the suicidal look and privately feeling guilt/anger over the memories it brings up vs noé being galvanized by his memories and begging jean-jacques to be vulnerable with chloé bc it just might change everything???? vanitas keeps his pain internal while noé lets his guide him

okay THIS was the reveal i remembered!!! vanitas recognized chloé's intention to die after doling out her revenge, perhaps because luna had a similar wish? the focus on his mark when he says it makes him sick seems pointed....although luna didn't die alone right? vanitas killed them? but maybe they forced his hand somehow?? some kind of martyr situation?

WEE WOO WEE WOO DANTE LORE first of all i'm pissed that we're getting to see glimpses of everyone's charlatan hallucinations EXCEPT VANITAS, but second of all, it's so interesting that this memory of vanitas is what snaps him out of it!!! vanitas is really helping everyone today huh. i'm curious as to how long they've been working together too cause they look significantly younger!! a few years maybe??

no i'm not over that parallel what the FUCK. noé has really changed vanitas huh. he has genuinely made him a more hopeful person, someone who is less willing to give up on others (and maybe also himself?). so is he still nobody's ally? really?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??????? i'm so glad vanitas pointed out the parallel cause i sure as hell didn't catch it!!! it's hilarious that right when vanijeanne has a big moment, vanitas has to stomp over to noé and blame him for making him more emotional and hopeful and inspiring him to help jeanne like noé had helped him before.......that paired with the head pat he gave jeanne on his way out is so telling

PLS WHY DID HE PAT HER HEAD LIKE THAT AKSJHDKAHJDAD that is so platonic of him oh my god

this page. is brilliant. she wasn't able to complete the plea for help before, even when it was just in her thoughts. but now that vanitas has assured her that he can carry the burden of her wish alongside her, she can finally speak the word. she can finally ask for help, for chloé but also for herself. who else could've gotten through to her like this besides vanitas? who else can carry the ugliness of that truth?

god jeanne is really so traumatized from her parents' death that she has genuinely been brainwashed into thinking that it was her fault for not following orders and being a good, obedient doll. she's absolutely petrified to take control of her life, and so vanitas is the PERFECT person to push her in that way bc his main motivator is his need for control over his life and his body and his autonomy

VANITAS PULLING JEANNE OUT OF THE DARKNESS JUST LIKE HE AND NOÉ HAVE DONE FOR EACH OTHER LETS GOOOOOOOO i love seeing vanitas in a position to give someone else hope

i need another timeline for jeanne's backstory cause i am a little foggy on how this all connects BUT did ruthven just bite her and force her into a pact of obedience IN HER SLEEP????????? HE CAN DO THAT????????? fuck ruthven once again

it's just one hit after the next holy shit??? this mangaka really knows how to portray a mind splitting and fighting against itself, and it's so brutal to read. every single one of these characters needs to be in lifelong therapy
the disjointed "help me" as she stood frozen in front of chloé broke my heart

so that earliest memory WAS actually before everything oh my god HUH???? was she created in a lab or something???? for some specific purpose???? the implications of the word "vessel".......but ANYWAY, also similarly to chloé, jeanne was forced to bear the responsibilities and sins of her family as a CHILD. but jeanne genuinely believed that it was her fault and that she was LUCKY to still be alive

wait when tf was this what is that earliest memory of being told that she's a doll????? was that really before she even got taken in by her parents or are they playing with time here??? clearly SOMETHING horrible happened to jeanne before her parents adopted her but WHAT

jeanne is told that she's a "doll" here, assumedly when she's forced into becoming a bourreau, and when she first met chloé, she had said she looked like a doll.....they were both treated more like symbols and tools than actual individuals with wills of their own

vanitas so often feigns apathy, but it really just amplifies these moments when he shows off how keenly he is able to read people and understand their breaking points. i wonder how much of that skill is a trauma response from the abuse he suffered and how much is just his natural level of emotional intelligence

roland continues to be one of the best characters in this manga, if anything bad happens to him i'll never recover

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO I KNEW HE WAS COMING BACK AND IM SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM
vanitas shuddering and hiding behind noé just makes it even better alsjdlajdha

i genuinely can't stop cackling at this series of events why is this manga so FUCKING FUNNY vanitas genuinely looks like murr chewing at noé's ankles
also this makes me think that when (in fic okay i'm not delusional) they have their first kiss, vanitas is gonna pause, leave the room, let out the loudest string of profanities as he punches every wall in his vicinity, and then come back for more like nothing happened

wow 2 headbutts over the course of 3 pages, noé really is a cat person huh

i love ships that can't be normal about their love for each other AT ALL. cause what the fuck do you mean noé professed his ironclad faith in vanitas by headbutting him and screaming it into his face? and then vanitas accepted this by kicking noé in the shins and yelling about how annoying he is before abruptly dropping the subject and moving on before noé could say anything else? they're married your honor

ah and there's the emotional crux of the issue, and of course noé sees it as such immediately. vanitas still struggles with trusting noé, but specifically when it comes to something that might force noé to go against his kind. vanitas doesn't fully trust that noé's alliance with him is stronger than his allegiance to vampires. it's another protective instinct of his placing a barrier between himself and noé

YES NOÉ I HAD THE SAME FUCKING QUESTION GET HIS ASS
i LOVE when characters have the same reactions as me when i'm reading!!!! noé is so right to be angry too, like even if vanitas wasn't 100% certain about naenia, he should've mentioned his THEORY. bc they're a TEAM. no matter how much vanitas likes to pretend like he's a lone wolf, he is WITH NOÉ, and i love that noé doesn't let him get away with the facade

i'm sorry what the fuck did naenia show vanitas that made him fall???????? i can infer a few possibilities but i need the definitive answer

ENOUGH WITH THE FALLING GODDAMNIT THATS WHAT IM SENSITIVE ABOUT
the metaphor of noé continuing to reach out to people despite all their attempts to refuse his help or to build walls around themselves, and despite his reach just simply not being long enough sometimes. he yearns to truly understand people and help them find some peace in their lives so that maybe he can find some peace in his own

to answer one of my other questions, vanitas definitely had any suspicions of his about the queen confirmed when he purposefully riled up ruthven at castle carbunculus, so he's known since at least then. why didn't he tell noé?? did he think it wasn't important?? was he waiting to get a clearer picture of all the players involved before creating an action plan to defeat them? that makes the most sense to me