Status Updates From Beyond the Ruby Veil (Beyon...

poor Ale :(

CANNIBALISM???? CANNIBALISM????????? C A N N I B A L I S M ?

(also, it's not like Emanuela is the only villain. both she and Verene are villainous, pushed to villainy by each other, their own ambitions, and varying circumstances)

oh my GOD, VERENE....

Fitzgerald LOOOOVES sentence fragments that start with "Because..." and I do NOT like it

"I'll kill you." / She says it again. Her voice is low but unmistakable. / "You'll kill me?" My mouth dry, and I find myself tightening my grip on the knife. "Really?" - okay so the typo is obvs bad, but like... ah what a fun dynamic. we love an enemies-to-lovers moment where the villain is, like, kinda into the fact that the hero wants to kill them.

"What?" I say to Verene. "If you're going to make this difficult, then so am I." damn it Fitzgerald stop making me like your protagonist

Emanuela is just like [violently kidnaps a girl, bests her with magic, then stabs her nursemaid and kicks her through a stained glass window]. like the author was right to call her a chaos lesbian and it CoUlD bE FuN, hOwEvEr... the WRITING....

Emanuela is actually arguably the villain of this story and that COULD BE FUN I JUST WISH THE WRITING WAS BETTER, DAMN

I'm struggling over deciding if the concept (the veil n'at) is juvenile, not to my taste, or Actually Bad. I can't tell yet because 🗣️ we don't have answers about the veil yet and I'm impatient 🗣️

self harm but make it weaponized!

these girls are just like [angrily bleeds at the other]

"Instead of trying to throw myself away, I throw myself forward. The knife cuts into my neck with a sting. Before it can go too deep, she flings herself back." spicyyyyy

(cont.) it's weakened by the immature voice of Emanuela and the basic writing. Emanuela's immaturity and NonTrustable Protagonist Voice can be leveraged for good, but I feel like the writing would have to wrap around her more cleverly to elevate her from "annoying" to "truly a bit of a bastard in a fun way". a troublemaking character is fun, but the mediocre writing can't support Emanuela (and thus Verene) enough

"In an instant, she's on the ground and in my face. I flinch away automatically, and she grabs a fistful of my hair, forcing me back. / 'Don't—' she says. 'Don't you ever—' / I feel something cold against my neck. It's the blade of her knife. It's shaking in her hands. It's digging in a little too hard." ah, we finally get the coveted 'holding a knife to your love interest's neck' bit. TRAGICALLY (cont. ->)

Emmanuela is... interesting. I don't love how she's written, but her desperate need to be liked and special and powerful is intriguing in character.

"I preferred to keep those feelings locked up. I could let them out in my bedroom, late at night, not around a real girl—a girl who could betray me or discover my omen or, worst of all, decide I was unremarkable and treat me just like everyone else."

the writing itself is very... simplistic. barebones descriptions that lack depth. that's not to say I'm looking for purple prose, but I sometimes feel like I'm reading a screenplay.

I want explanations for many things. the veil. the lack of water. the omens.

Ok, I like Verene, I’m beginning to like this...

The way Ale tells Emanuela that he’s gay is a little... trite? Trope-y? Stereotypical? Fanficcy?