Status Updates From Labial Linguistics

"Some nights when the weather's bad, I like to climb to the top of the LDS church with a bottle of whiskey in hand, getting blind drunk with Moroni while I wait to be struck by lightning."

SNATCH-QUATCH 😂😂😂 haaaaa. I love it.

“I am drawn to stories that have not been told a million times before, stories that challenge what a story ought to be, what can be done with them and how.”

“If I’m not working on a story, I might be working on getting into your pants.”

Nutsack sherbet.

#yum

“Sometimes I wonder if there’s anything else beyond this.”

“There’s really nothing in here, but in here there is everything.”

“four seasons of you tangled in the corners, clogging up the drains, and woven into the carpet.”

spent more time staring at the cover than reading the book so far. i need to get laid

Some nights when I'm lying in bed, I think about what an awful person I am and how anyone could ever love me :-(
Some mornings when I'm in the shower, I find your hairs in my crack and wound round my sack :-)

If there's one thing you do NOT want to do to a shitting sasquatch, that's startle it.

I have posted and blogged extensively about my independence, I have extolled the virtues of the lone wolf, and I have welcomed the scorn of my pariah-hood. I have borne the banner of the rebel and I have taken up the cloak of the iconoclast, and all I've asked for in return is that you understand and accept how little it matters to me that I am understood and accepted by you.

How do you define success as an author?

1) When I'm sitting there, dead sober and all alone, and I write something that makes me cackle like a madman.
2) When I receive fair to favorable reviews from people I am neither friends nor family with.
3) When children approach me on the street to say, "my mommy said I'm not supposed to talk to you."

"What do you think, Moe?"
Moe was looking at us with an expression of extreme disapproval upon his little rat face. We'd managed to fuck up his apartment pretty good, I'd say.
"Well," he began, pausing to clear his throat before continuing. "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."