Status Updates From The Pirate of Fathoms Deep ...

OH MY GOD SHE BROUGHT THEM 4 MONTH OLD TWIN BABIES

That's fucking amazing.
I love that Shemal is freaking out when Lesto is obviously going to be 100% onboard with this sudden development.

"Treya Mencee will get their Star back when Allen gets everything he wants..." I fucking love him.
"... And given all the deaths and harm Treya Mencee has caused...Well, a kinder man than me might feel bad for them." Eh, fuck 'em.
"They don't deserve kindness." Lesto and I agree, Shemal. 🤷🏼‍♀️

L: "The Star of Menceera was given to Sarrica by Bestowen, and it will remain locked in the imperial vault until Sarrica feels like returning it to Treya Mencee."
Sh: "So never then."
L: "More or less. Sarrica's new favorite hobby is sitting back and watching Allen bend everyone to his will." I mean, isn't that the new favorite hobby of all of us? 😂 It's fucking amazing to watch.

🥺😭
Damn, Shemal be out here cracking hearts in two. Lesto's and also mine.
"You were my port. I'm sorry I ruined everything."
I am crying real tears.
To be so loved, and not know how to accept it. Hits way too close to home.

Shemal is making me so sad my hands are tingly again.
The feeling has been working it's way toward my elbow actually. 😭
Shemal, Lesto would like nothing more than to find you curled up in his bed.

God, do you really think Lesto likes that smug, pompous brat any more than you do?! He likes him considerably less, in fact!

YOU THINK LESTO IS MAD AT *YOU*?!?!
Oh Shemal. My sweet, precious boy.
He's ready to murder anyone and everyone who stands between himself and you. Oh my god. This is So not your fault. And fuck that noble, he deserved it and worse. You didn't assault him, 3 of them assaulted you so you had to defend yourself!
"Letting himself be kidnapped" Lesto'd be a hypocrite thinking anywhere near that thought lmao

Damn, Shemal, you still don't understand how much Lesto loves you. He's definitely coming to save you, in *exactly* that dramatic of a fashion.

Shemaaaallll! Why would you believe the snot-nosed asshole idiot Tecilia over everything Lesto has said and shown you this whole time! Jfc!

Jfc, Shemal does not deserve this.
Lesto doesn't either, none of them do, good lord.

I mean, if I were Peter or Lace, I'd be one step from killing myself too. They're in such deep shit.

L: FUCKING TELL ME WHAT I WANNA KNOW PR YOU'LL WISH I WAS ALLOWED TO KILL YOU
Peter, held by the throat: You cant-- the treaty says--
A: "The treaty says a lot of things that you have seen fit to ignore. I would tread carefully if I were you." Straight facts! 👏

L: *absolutely seething with rage*
S: Anything short of killing Peter & Lace is fair game.
"Allen can sweet talk our way out of any problems later."
A, w/ a sigh: "You make it sound so easy. It's remarkably hard to do when I want to kill them myself." Valid 😆
S: *smiles at him*
Aww, their love ♥️

Damn, they brought weights, a cane, and a dagger?! Jfc they planned this. So fucking despicable. Fuck them. 😤

Lmao, get them, Lesto! Tear these soft nobles a new one with your words. Rip them to shreds, they deserve it.

This is going well. Everything's going great. 🙃

S: I wish I had time to just sit and watch my golden tongue, an eccentric, and a pirate turn the High Court upside down.
L, pained at the thought: On second thought, I *am* going to Fathoms Deep and never returning

"You'll be lucky if those two (Tara & Shemal) don't go off pirating together. I've no doubt Allen would be happy to find the venture as long as they promised to send him gifts." 🤣 I fucking adore that they all get along and love each other. I love this family.
Lesto and Sarrica and Rene being bitchy brothers and their partners get along great too. 🥺

Lmao
Lesto is like "Sarrica may be rude, impatient, and temperamental, but he's not stupid." (Unfortunately.) Resigned to him figuring it out 😂
S: "You fucked him, didn't you?"
"Sarrica looked like someone had just handed him the greatest treasure in the world." 🤣
"You delinquent bastard, I didn't know you had it in you...Although I bet you did, in fact, have it--"
And there's the line 😂

S: When you retire you'll need bodyguards, too you know
L: No--
S: see how annoying it is! Hypocrisy!
😂

"Lesto mentally drafted a scathing reply as he refilled his teacup and ate the rest of his pastry."

My new default state of being

They're so precious, I love them so much. ❤️

L: "Leave or I'll put you in stocks!" 🤣 Damn, stop trying to cockblock them, universe!
Sh: "Subtle."
L: "I have never been accused of subtlety or patience. Those are not the skills I am paid to possess."
Sh, & me: "Fair enough." 😂

"I'm a fusspot and you're relationship shy. What a pair." 😂

Sh: *putting Lesto in his place*
L: "Did you just call me a fusspot?" 😂 Yes he did, you fusspot
Sh: yeah, bc it's true. Tell me what I've said is wrong
L, muttering: "I'm not a fusspot." You 100% are lmao