Status Updates From A Whisper in the Wind

Love..?! You were just in love with someone else like 20 pages ago and like a week has passed...and you two have barely interacted! This is a classic example of a lot of telling rather than showing happening.

Time traveling twice is odd-- plus, I just don't care about the loss of the first love which I assume is going to be important since they never really interacted. If you are going to actually show this as development I just think it needs to be better developed for it to be impactful later. It would've been better for it to happen in the past (just not this literally).

Not sure about this one, I mean I was not expecting anything extraordinary, but the start is very slow, yet a little reflective, between the male character and his Cheyenne grand father. There is some important commentary about the reservations, and the damage done to the indigenous culture and population, but it lacks emotional depth. When the time travel occurs, it is still very slow... read more and see I guess.