Status Updates From If I Was Your Girl

things are moving kinda fast

Amanda has just moved and she has met Grant. they went to a party and then to a lake and Amanda had her first kiss. Amanda has some big secrets that the author unveils throughout the book and some are only parts of her secrets.

Current listen! 50 min in

“Just open your eyes and see them they way they really are. They’re all beautiful, okay?”

The author tends to mention Amanda and her scar behind her ear. Anytime something reminds her of her past and how bad it was, she’ll always reach for it and slightly touch it. Based on what I’ve read and how often they bring it up I know that she got beat up really bad.

“Everybody’s got a past,” he said. “That don’t mean you can’t have a future.”

It’s interesting how Amanda’s dad, while he’s drunk, isn’t hostile or rude towards her. I was somewhat expecting him to have his inner feelings and thoughts about his daughter being transgender come out...and they would not be good. But instead he said that he was glad that she was happy and said that he loves her. Based on what I’ve read, I know that her dad still loves her and is accepting her more.

“Everybody’s got a past,” he said. “That don’t mean you can’t have a future.”

This has some episodes of a la year 2008 ya writing style seeping through and I am confusion from the whiplash 😁

"...'I thought I was tough. A lot of guys thought they were even tougher.'...'I don't think we held a candle to you.'

'I'm not brave,' I said, smiling despite myself. 'Bravery implies I had a choice. I'm just me, you know?'"

"I watched the changing scenery of this place where I was born that had been telling me it hated me for as long as I could remember and gave in to the static behind my eyes."

"...and the assistant principal said I was only making myself a target."

This is why all assistant principals are cancelled

"I remembered Mom telling me how frightening men were, all men really, how helpless it often felt to be a woman among men, and for the first time I understood what she meant."

Wait...does this imply it was girls who beat her up? Not impossible, I'm just wondering.

"'So I shouldn't feel guilty?'
''Course you should!' she said with a broad smile. 'You got any idea what you've done to me? Between the labor pain and the stretch marks and the loans I had to take out for this surgery, you've bled me dry!'"

"'Andrew Hardy was gonna die one way or the other, and one of the choices gave me a daughter in exchange while the other left me with no one.'"

Dark YA show me the black female character who isn't either "wise" or comedic relief?

"'You know walls are there for a reason though, right?...They keep things from falling apart.'"

"I sat at the bar in the Sartoris Diner and read Abasalom, Absalom! for class, trying to figure out which character disgusted me the most." A mood

Amanda's mom is the goat

Amanda and Grant jumping into the lake seems to be a really nice way for them to start to connect. I was worried about if her secret might be revealed but thankfully it wasn’t. This section reminds me of the Monsters University scene when they were sitting by the water and talking to one another.

am i gonna break down in sobs at work tomorrow when i finish this

This boo is probably the most inspirational (without being cheesy) book ever! I was crying by page 202, in a beautiful way. (Even the authors note made me cry) Russo is an artist! I will read every book she writes. xo

It’s nice to know that Grant is an understanding type of person. He used to have a friend that had similar problems to Amanda and didn’t judge them or end their friendship. Unfortunately he was killed though. But based on what I have just read, I believe that if Amanda comes out and tells Grant her truth that he wouldn’t judge her or hate her.

It makes me really sad how excited Amanda was to show her mom and dad her story that she wrote in school, but when she showed it to him he got angry and told her not to speak about it again. I imagined what her book looked like with the pictures she drew.

Parker is always so shy, nervous, and quiet whenever he is talking to Amanda. But whenever Grant appears he’s always so calm and chill with talking to her. Based on what I have just read I believe that Parker is bound to get angry at Grant for what he’s doing.

It’s nice to know that even though Bee comes off as straight forward and blunt and maybe a little mean, she’s understanding and cares for Amanda. She didn’t push Amanda to say her secret, all she did was let her know everything will be fine. It makes me wonder is it because she truly cares for Amanda as a friend or because she’s beginning to have feelings for her?

Great

Great

Bee and Amanda seem like opposites. Amanda is shy, keeps to herself, very innocent; while Bee is more blunt and confident. I feel like later in the story Amanda will develop more friends but in the end Bee will be the only true friend to stay by her side despite her past.

Bee and Amanda’s last class period is art but they don’t have an art teacher anymore. Nobody knows about it so one day Bee decided to take Amanda to her private, abandoned, old building that she likes to go to when she wants to be alone. I imagine that the building is red and brownish from years of aging and that it’s surrounded by a field of yarrow flowers.