Status Updates From No Summer Hotter than You (...

Shoua’s mom gives me the ick.

“June 21st
Shoua, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I’m falling in love with you, and you don’t even know it. Love, Anthony”

“Aren’t you tired from last night?”
“With you? Never.” “I can do this every day, every hour—from every single corner of this house to the floor to the bed to the bathroom. I’d be able to fuck you as if my life depended on it the way I need air.”

“Even if we don’t build a home here, I will always want it all with you.”

“Baby, I want to build a home with you.”

“Exactly how horny are you right now?”
“I can fuck you until the sun rises if you let me, Shoua.”

“Come put that sweet pussy on my face, cowgirl,” I demanded. “I’ve been craving it every single day since I first got a taste of it.”

“I’ve always loved you, but I’m in love with you. Not as a friend, but as a man. I love you.”

“Last week you said we were a mistake,”
“I did,”
“Then,” “let me be the mistake you repeat again and again.”
“Again and again,”
“Let me be your mistake for this summer and the next and then the one after that. Please,”

“You think I’m not looking at you, but I am. I’m always looking at you.”
“I’m always following you with my gaze, through the crowd or through the room. You’re beautiful, Shoua. Just absolutely breathtaking.”

“I was consumed by her and only her even amid my own worries. Because with her, I always knew I’d be fine. With her, I knew who I was.”

“…I have been consumed by a profound longing to just be with Shoua. She’s my best friend, but my brain reacted as if I had never laid eyes on any other woman before whenever she was around. Wherever she went, my eyes followed. Whatever she did, I wanted to do it with her. Wherever she was, I wanted to be with her.”

“Anthony: I’ll be getting some food and coming over to see you soon
Shoua: Again? Don’t you have work to do?
Anthony: BUT I WANT TO SEE YOU
Shoua: You saw me this morning
Anthony: So? I want to see you”

“…Sometimes, I feel like you don’t even see the value of your worth at times. I wish . . . I wish you could see yourself through my eyes so you would know exactly how beautiful you and your soul are.”

“You’re beautiful, Shoua. You’ve always been. But you’re so much more than that. You have a warm and big heart. You love so deeply and care too much about other people,”

“It’s a Hmong belief that if your ears suddenly start burning, someone is bad-mouthing or gossiping about you.”

“She was the reason I couldn’t cry in front of others. It was because of these things she would always say about my tears—about how I used them to make her the horrible person—that I couldn’t bring myself to cry unless if I’m alone. Because of my mom, I couldn’t allow myself to be vulnerable in front of others. In case they used my tears against me like she did.”

That was just how my parents were. They’d always look at other people and their successes and then turn to my brothers and I and ask, “Why aren’t you successful like them? Where did you go wrong?”

“…I’ll always come running, even if you don’t need me.”

“The longer I was single, the more I realized that perhaps things were just better this way.”

“I’m complaining, but I’ll be fine.”

“Shouldn’t you head home now?”
“But what if you need me?”

“Anthony, you don’t have to keep carrying me. I know I’m heavy, so⁠—” 
“What are you talking about? You barely weigh anything.” 

“I couldn’t allow myself to cry. Instead, I swallowed the emotions threatening to rise up my throat and forced them back down into the pit of my stomach. A thick lump formed in my throat as my vision became blurry. I took in a deep breath to calm myself down. Then another. And another⁠—“