Status Updates From Mr Blank (Fill in the Blank)

That would have to go down in the annals of bad goodbyes: let's bring up her adorable dead pet. I could top that off by punching her in the stomach and keying her car.

(The Trojan War)
The lesson is this: when a group of women asks who the prettiest one is, run. Don't look back. Just run.

"You drink coffee, right?"
"It's practically a job requirement."

The desk sergeant gave me an annoyed look, so I flashed my badge.
"Detective Saroyan," I said.
"What can I do for you, detective?" He needed a couple thousand more cups of coffee.

"I need to get changed."
"I don't know, I think that look kind of works for you. Sort of modern frump."
The look she gave me could have stripped paint off a car.

Who owns a gun, gets activated for an assassination attempt, then thinks to himself, "Ah, the gun's so boring. You know what, I think I'm gonna go with the rock on the chain."

Now when I say "Satanist" most people picture someone like Ming the Merciless drinking red wine out of a virgin's skull. This guy looked like an entertainment lawyer, which if you ask me is about a hundred times worse.

Introduced to the book by a close friend of the author, I wondered if the book was really as good as he claimed, or just a friend helping a friend push a book. Turns out, it's a fun adventure through the streets of LA, with constant pop-culture references at every turn. Not done yet, but enjoying the ride so far.

Introduced to the book by a close friend of the author, I wondered if the book was really as good as he claimed, or just a friend helping a friend push a book. Turns out, it's a fun adventure through the streets of LA, with constant pop-culture references at every turn. Not done yet, but enjoying the ride so far.

"Aliens, Satanists, what's the difference?" "They both seem to have it out for the livestock, don't they?" XD

Not an H.C. yet but an I.B. is probably just as good, eh?

Chupacabras, motherfolklore!

Ohhhhhh @mactonnies would have gotten a kick out of this.

The cork board robinson used to keep all these plots straight must have looked positively Rube Goldbergian.

The ridiculawesome just got dialed up to 11. "I'm the only thing standing between you and them." Ahahahaha