Bryn Schurman

“The Painting is not shit,' said Lucien.

'I know,' said Henri. 'That was just part of the subterfuge. I am of royal lineage; subterfuge is one of the many talents we carry in our blood, along with guile and hemophilia.”
― Christopher Moore, Sacré Bleu: A Comedy d'Art

“And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacob's dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?”
― Christopher Moore, Sacre Blue

“A: There is no grand scheme of things.
B: If there were a grand scheme of things, the fact – the fact – that we are not equipped to perceive it, either by natural or supernatural means, is a nightmarish obscenity.
C: The very notion of a grand scheme of things is a nightmarish obscenity.”
― Thomas Ligotti

“Ydych chi'n cymryd cerdynnau credid?" said the highwayman, no doubt trying to frighten me further, his consonants chained like anal beads strung out of hell's own bunghole.”
― Christopher Moore, Fool