Joshua Ameli

“A 1-watt laser is an extremely dangerous thing. It’s not just powerful enough to blind you—it’s capable of burning skin and setting things on fire. Obviously, they’re not legal for consumer purchase in the US. Just kidding! You can pick one up for $300. Just do a search for “1-watt handheld laser.” So, suppose we spend the $2 trillion to buy 1-watt green lasers for everyone. (Memo to presidential candidates: This policy would win my vote.)”
― Randall Munroe, What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

“I got in touch with a friend of mine who works at a research reactor, and asked him what he thought would happen to someone who tried to swim in their radiation containment pool. “In our reactor?” He thought about it for a moment. “You’d die pretty quickly, before reaching the water, from gunshot wounds.”
― Randall Munroe, What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

“Your plane would fly pretty well, except it would be on fire the whole time, and then it would stop flying, and then stop being a plane.”
― Randall Munroe, What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

“Do not try any of this at home. The author of this book is an Internet cartoonist, not a health or safety expert. He likes it when things catch fire or explode, which means he does not have your best interests in mind. The publisher and the author disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects resulting, directly or indirectly, from information contained in this book.”
― Randall Munroe, What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions