Amanda

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“If someone told me that I could live my life again free of depression provided I was willing to give up the gifts depression has given me--the depth of awareness, the expanded consciousness, the increased sensitivity, the awareness of limitation, the tenderness of love, the meaning of friendship, the apreciation of life, the joy of a passionate heart--I would say, 'This is a Faustian bargain! Give me my depressions. Let the darkness descend. But do not take away the gifts that depression, with the help of some unseen hand, has dredged up from the deep ocean of my soul and strewn along the shores of my life. I can endure darkness if I must; but I cannot lie without these gifts. I cannot live without my soul.' (p. 188)”
David Elkins, Beyond Religion: A Personal Program for Building a Spiritual Life Outside the Walls of Traditional Religion

Elizabeth Wurtzel
“In a strange way, I had fallen in love with my depression. Dr. Sterling was right about that. I loved it because I thought it was all I had. I thought depression was the part of my character that made me worthwhile. I thought so little of myself, felt that I had such scant offerings to give to the world, that the one thing that justified my existence at all was my agony.”
Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

Susan Sontag
“My library is an archive of longings.”
Susan Sontag, As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980

Jeffrey Eugenides
“Depression is like a bruise that never goes away. A bruise in your mind. You just got to be careful not to touch it where it hurts. It's always there, though.”
Jeffrey Eugenides, The Marriage Plot

Sylvia Plath
“It seemed silly to wash one day when I would only have to wash again the next.

It made me tired just to think of it.”
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

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year in books
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