Sandy

“The service was also very nice. Normally, when food is served, they say, “Bon appétit.” But when this food was dropped, you said, “Son of a bitch!”—even though I saw no puppies.”
― Jeremy Greenberg, Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed:

“States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don’t want to get married, it tends to hurt my feelings. I guess what bugs me is that it was put to a vote in the first place. If you don’t want to marry a homosexual, then don’t. But what gives you the right to weigh in on your neighbor’s options? It’s like voting on whether or not redheads should be allowed to celebrate Christmas.”
― David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

“There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“It wasn’t entirely his fault that he was so emotionally challenged, she thought, putting a hand on his jaw. “You’re so pretty, Joe. It’s really a shame that you’re such a dumbass.”
― Jill Shalvis, About That Kiss