“Aggressive control: someone hurting us if we say no
Passive control: someone leaving us if we say no
Regressive control: guilt messages if we say no
Limitlessness: someone never saying no to us These dynamics are common in most relationships, and are extremely destructive to our ability to conduct our lives responsibly. But how do boundary injuries hurt our safety?”
― Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't
Passive control: someone leaving us if we say no
Regressive control: guilt messages if we say no
Limitlessness: someone never saying no to us These dynamics are common in most relationships, and are extremely destructive to our ability to conduct our lives responsibly. But how do boundary injuries hurt our safety?”
― Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't
“I release my parents from the feeling that they have already failed me.
I release my children from the need to bring pride to me; that they may write their own ways according to their hearts, that whisper all the time in their ears.
I release my partner from the obligation to complete myself. I do not lack anything, I learn with all beings all the time.
I thank my grandparents and forefathers who have gathered so that I can breathe life today. I release them from past failures and unfulfilled desires, aware that they have done their best to resolve their situations within the consciousness they had at that moment.
I honor you, I love you and I recognize you as innocent.
I am transparent before your eyes, so they know that I do not hide or owe anything other than being true to myself and to my very existence, that walking with the wisdom of the heart, I am aware that I fulfill my life project, free from invisible and visible family loyalties that might disturb my Peace and Happiness, which are my only responsibilities.
I renounce the role of savior, of being one who unites or fulfills the expectations of others.
Learning through, and only through, love, I bless my essence, my way of expressing, even though somebody may not understand me.
I understand myself, because I alone have lived and experienced my history; because I know myself, I know who I am, what I feel, what I do and why I do it.
I respect and approve myself.
I honor the Divinity in me and in you.
We are free.”
―
I release my children from the need to bring pride to me; that they may write their own ways according to their hearts, that whisper all the time in their ears.
I release my partner from the obligation to complete myself. I do not lack anything, I learn with all beings all the time.
I thank my grandparents and forefathers who have gathered so that I can breathe life today. I release them from past failures and unfulfilled desires, aware that they have done their best to resolve their situations within the consciousness they had at that moment.
I honor you, I love you and I recognize you as innocent.
I am transparent before your eyes, so they know that I do not hide or owe anything other than being true to myself and to my very existence, that walking with the wisdom of the heart, I am aware that I fulfill my life project, free from invisible and visible family loyalties that might disturb my Peace and Happiness, which are my only responsibilities.
I renounce the role of savior, of being one who unites or fulfills the expectations of others.
Learning through, and only through, love, I bless my essence, my way of expressing, even though somebody may not understand me.
I understand myself, because I alone have lived and experienced my history; because I know myself, I know who I am, what I feel, what I do and why I do it.
I respect and approve myself.
I honor the Divinity in me and in you.
We are free.”
―
“Confrontation helps us learn about ourselves and change destructive patterns.”
― Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't
― Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't
“When they felt secure with their lover, they could reach out and connect easily; when they felt insecure, they either became anxious, angry, and controlling, or they avoided contact altogether and stayed distant.”
― Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
― Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
“I have sometimes said to a client: “If you are so in touch with your feelings from your abusive childhood, then you should know what abuse feels like. You should be able to remember how miserable it was to be cut down to nothing, to be put in fear, to be told that the abuse is your own fault. You should be less likely to abuse a woman, not more so, from having been through it.” Once I make this point, he generally stops mentioning his terrible childhood; he only wants to draw attention to it if it’s an excuse to stay the same, not if it’s a reason to change.”
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
Holocaust and genocide
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