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The Secret History
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Jan 19, 2026 06:45PM

 
Book cover for Becoming
When things were bad, she gave us only a small amount of pity. When we’d done something great, we received just enough praise to know she was happy with us, but never so much that it became the reason we did what we did.
Divya
Here she is talking about her Mother. I find it amazing to see such balanced parenting, and the daughter appreciating that.
Kanika
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Kanika
This very statement resonated with me too and I’m now working on changing my ways as I tend to shower praises even on slightest good job done!
Divya
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Divya
Kanika that is true for most of us (coming from a culture of nonverbal upbringing) who are trying to make our kids feel seen and appreciated; but this reminds me that it is a fine line as you don’t wa…
Supriya Pandhre
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Supriya Pandhre
I heard this on a podcast once - "Don't praise the kids for being smart rather praise them for their efforts" - It's a Danish way of parenting. That struck a chord with me because I too tend to over p…
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Richard Wright
“Whenever my environment had failed to support or nourish me, I had clutched at books...”
Richard Wright, Black Boy

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