Gerda

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Wet Graves
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The Full Ridiculous
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Erma Bombeck
“When God Created Mothers"

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way."

It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded.

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."

God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...."

I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure."

Can it think?"

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model."

It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear."

What's it for?"

It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

You are a genius, " said the angel.

Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there.”
Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

Elbert Hubbard
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
Elbert Hubbard

Mahatma Gandhi
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Ernesto Che Guevara
“The first duty of a revolutionary is to be educated.”
Che Guevara

Phyllis Diller
“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”
Phyllis Diller

2147 The Haiku Lounge — 137 members — last activity Sep 29, 2025 11:25PM
A place to share 5-7-5 goodness, discuss books on haiku, and generally have a good time. We specialize in both themed haiku and free range haiku, with ...more
223 Netherlands & Flanders group — 1631 members — last activity Apr 25, 2026 08:04AM
This group is for Dutch/Flemish readers mainly and offers a broad range of topics. However, the group is also meant for readers outside of the Netherl ...more
220 Goodreads Librarians Group — 321974 members — last activity 9 minutes ago
Goodreads Librarians are volunteers who help ensure the accuracy of information about books and authors in the Goodreads' catalog. The Goodreads Libra ...more
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A group for all Australian Goodreads members (and those interested in Australia), no matter what they read!
12529 Britcrime reborn — 76 members — last activity Jul 14, 2022 11:53AM
The rebirth of the British crime novel - with apologies to Ian Rankin, who's Scottish anyway - as demonstrated by the works of Roger Cottrell, Malcolm ...more
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