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The 7½ Deaths of ...
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by Stuart Turton (Goodreads Author)
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Ray Bradbury
“Insanity is relative. It depends on who has who locked in what cage.”
Ray Bradbury

“What does that mean, really? Be good? How does a person know she’s falling
within her mother’s interpretation of Be Good? “Always!” I called back. What else was I going to say? Though I was tempted to just once say, “I will never be good—I am Satan, I want to drink your blood, have orgies, and hurt bunnies.” It would totally amuse me, but somehow I don’t think my mother would see the humor in it.”
Erin Lynn, Speed Demon

Robert Jordan
“Pessimism, she is a fond friend of yours, yes?" -
That's uncalled for. I barely know her. Mere acquaintances, at best.”
Robert Jordan, The Gathering Storm

Brandon Sanderson
“Once there was a bunny. This bunny had a birthday party. It was the bestest birthday party ever. Because that was the day the bunny got a bazooka.
THe bunny loved his bazooka. He blew up all sorts of things on the farm. He blew up the stable of Henrietta the Horse. He blew up the pen of Pugsly the Pig. He blew up the coop of Chuck the Chicken.
"I have the bestest bazooka ever," the bunny said. Then the farm friends proceeded to beat him senseless and steal his bazooka. It was the happiest day of his life.
The end.
Epilogue: Pugsly the Pig, now without a pen, was quite annoyed. When none of the others were looking, he stole the bazooka. He tied a bandana on his head and swore vengeance for what had been done to him.
"From this day on," he whispered, raising the bazooka, "I shall be known as Hambo.”
Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones

Brandon Sanderson
“How do you fight someone smarter than yourself?' Rand Whispered. 'The answer is simple. You make her think that you are sitting down across the table from her, ready to play her game. Then you punch her in the face as hard as you can.”
Brandon Sanderson, The Gathering Storm
tags: humor

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