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“The customer in front of me swigs his diluted complimentary drink. He’s in a red floral Hawaiian shirt that stretches over a massive beer belly. I’m ignoring the coarse black hair poking through the gaps between his buttons, so I won’t be forced to gouge my eyes out later.”
― Jules Barnard, Never Date Your Brother's Best Friend

“refrigerator”
― Jennifer Thorne Amann, Consumer Guide to Home Energy Savings-10th Edition: Save Money, Save the Earth

“Sounds fun, but I’ve got a Skype date with Eric.”
― Jules Barnard, Never Date Your Brother's Best Friend

“The ride back to Jaeger’s is silent, what with the bomb he dropped. It took on nuclear proportions when he handed me a check for my portion of the commission—forty percent. If he shocked me speechless with the carving, I almost passed out when he handed me the check. Jaeger had to get me out of his client’s house quickly; my speech had degraded to mumbles and gasps.”
― Jules Barnard, Never Date Your Brother's Best Friend