lexi mama

“You make the SNOOP DOGG SNOW CONE MACHETE.

When foes drop it like it's hot just turn up the blizzizzle nozzle so they chizzlax fo' rizzle.”
― Andrew Hussie

“AT: oKAYYYY, mY BROMO SAPIEN,
AT: r U READY,
AT: tO GET STRAIGHT IN, FLAT DOWN, BROAD SIDE, SCHOOL FED UP THE BONE BULGE,
AT: bY A DOPE SMACKED, TRINKED OUT, SMOTHER FUDGING,
AT: tROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL,
TG: dont care
AT: oK, lET ME,
AT: oRGANIZE MY NOTES HERE,
AT: oKAYYY,
AT: (tURN ON SOME STRICT BEATS MAYBE, iT WILL HELP TO LISTEN TO THEM WHILE i DESTROY YOU,)
AT: wHEN THE POLICE MAN BUSTS ME, aND POPS THE TRUNK,
AT: hE'S ALL SUPRISED TO FIND I'M TOTING SICK BILLY,
AT: wHOSE,
AT: gOAT IS THAT, hE ASKS, wHILE HE STOPS TO THUNK
AT: aBOUT IT, aND i'S JUST SAY IT'S DAVE'S, yOU SILLY
AT: gOOSE,
AT: bUT THE MAN SAYS, gOOSE! wHERE, lET ME SEE YOUR HANDS,
AT: aND i SAY SHIT SORRY, i DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HONKTRABAND,
AT: wOW, oK,
AT: i AM GETTING OFF THE POINT, wHICH WAS,
AT: aBOUT THIS HOT MESS DAVE, tHAT YOU GOT LANDED IN,
AT: lIKE THE COP i MENTIONED, bUT INSTEAD OF YOUR BADGE,
AT: aND YOUR GUN, IT'S YOUR ASS THAT YOU HANDED IN,
AT: (aND THEN GOT HANDED BACK TO YOU,)
AT: cAUSE THAT'S HOW HUMANS GET SERVED,
AT: aND GUYS LIKE YOU DESERVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT iT'S,
AT: a CIRCLE AND HORNS IN YOUR BUTT THAT GOT BRANDED IN,
AT: (uMM, bEFORE i GAVE YOUR ASS BACK TO YOU, i DID THAT, iS WHAT i MEAN,)
AT: bUT i MEAN, gETTING BACK TO THE POINT, oR MAYBE TWO ACTUALLY,
AT: tHE FIRST IS YOU SUCK, aND THE SECOND IS HOW i SMACKEDYOUFULLY,
AT: (oH YEAH, tHAT RHYME WAS SO ILLLLLLLLL,)
AT: bUT NO, jUST JOKING, lET'S SEE, hOW CAN i PUT THIS TACTFULLULLY,
AT: i MEAN THE POINTS ON THE HORNS ON MY HEAD,
AT: cOMING AT YOU THROUGH TRAFFIC,
AT: aIMED AT THE TARGET ON YOUR SHIRT THAT IS RED,
AT: wE'RE ABOUT TO GET MAD HORNOGRAPHIC,
AT: (i MEAN SORT OF LIKE A GRAPHIC CRIME SCENE, nOT LIKE,)
AT: (aNYTHING SEXUAL,)
AT: (eRR, wHOAAAAA,)
AT: (nEVERMIND,)
AT: oK, gETTING BACK TO THE ACTUAL, tACTICAL, vERNACULAR SMACKCICLE,
AT: i'M FORCING YOU TO BE LICKING, (aND lIKING,)
AT: gRAB MY HORNS AND START KICKING, lIKE YOU'RE RIDING A VIKING,
AT: cAUSE i'M YOUR BULLY, aND YOU'RE NOT IN CHARGE,
AT: yOU THINK YOU'RE IN CHARGE BUT YOU'RE NOT IN CHARGE,
AT: i'M IN CHARGE, cAUSE i'M CHARGING IN,
AT: yOUR CHINASHOP,
AT: bREAKING, uH, yOUR PLATES AND STUFF, WHICH i DON'T REALLY KNOW,
AT: wHAT THE PLATES ARE SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT, bUT,
AT: (fUCK,)
AT: iT'S JUST THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE THE COCK OF THE WALK'S HOT SHIT
AT: bUT WHEN IN FACT YOU ARE NOT, mORE LIKE YOU ARE,
AT: sOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH THE COCK OF THE WALK'S HOT SHIT,
AT: bUT IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN THE COCK'S SHIT,
AT: sO, gIVEN THAT, lET ME BE THE FIRST,
AT: tO SAY YOU ACT LIKE YOU'RE GOLD FROM PROSPIT,
AT: wHEN YOU'RE REALLY COLD SHIT FLUSHED FROM DERSE,”
― Andrew Hussie, Homestuck

ҬGT: hehehehehehe
GC: JOHN
GC: WHY WOULD YOU L4UGH 4T 4 BL1ND G1RL
GT: uh...
GC: YOU H4V3 NO 1D34 HOW MUCH YOU D1SGUST M3
GC: YOUR3 4 TOT4L D1SGR4C3 TO TH3 F13LD OF 3CTOB1OLOGY
GC: 1F W3 3V3R M33T
GC: 1M GO1NG TO CUT YOUR THRO4T
GC: 4ND L1ST3N TO YOU BL33D WH1L3 1 SM3LL YOU D13̈¨”
― Andrew Hussie, Homestuck

“.. and I was a really fat kid, and that's why I do this to myself.”
― Adrienne Maria Vrettos, Skin