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I'm Glad My Mom Died

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A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

320 pages, ebook

First published August 9, 2022

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About the author

Jennette McCurdy

2 books6,410 followers
Jennette McCurdy got her start in child acting, which by her late teen years had brought her success (she starred in Nickelodeon's hit show iCarly and her own spin-off, Sam & Cat). She went on to star in the Netflix series Between, and had a short-lived country music career with Capitol Records Nashville. Despite her outside success, McCurdy felt ashamed of 90% of her resume and ultimately unfulfilled, so she turned to alcohol, but since that didn't work, she quit acting and began pursuing writing/directing in 2017. She has written/directed a pilot and four short films. Her work has been featured in/on The Hollywood Reporter, Short of the Week, Florida Film Festival, Salute Your Shorts, and many more. She has written articles for Huffington Post and the Wall Street Journal. Her one-woman show “I’m Glad My Mom Died” had a sold-out run at Lyric Hyperion Theatre. She hosts a podcast called “Empty Inside”, where she speaks with guests about uncomfortable topics.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 77,256 reviews
October 6, 2022

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So in my pre-review of this book, where I lamented about not being able to find a copy anywhere because of all the HYPE (seriously, I could not find a copy of this anywhere and the library had, like, a five-hundred year wait-- thank GOD for my sister sending me a copy as payment for watching her kitten), I said that the people giving this author shit about her choice of title were dickheads. Some people got mad at me about that, but I stand by what I said. Even more so after reading this memoir. I am seriously side-eyeing the people defending the mother, actually, because based on the accounts in this memoir, she was verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. Not only that, but she coached her daughter into an eating disorder at age eleven and then managed her to ensure that she continued to starve herself. That's not to mention the stage-parenting, the freak-outs (especially while driving), and the fact that she wiped Jennette when she went to the bathroom well into, like, her preteens (imagine not even trusting your eleven-year-old daughter to wipe her own ass) and showered her into her late teens (sometimes with her older brother and also while giving her breast and vaginal exams, ostensibly to search for cancer, I guess).

What the FUCK.

Here's a hard truth. Some people are shitty people. Some of those shitty people are shitty parents. Being a parent does not give you a free-pass from all wrongs. Especially if you're just doing the whole parenting thing for a little human-sized accessory that you can live all of your failed dreams through. By the end of this book, I was kind of glad Jennette's mother died, too. After living under that kind of suffocating parenting, with gaslighting and serious emotional trauma, not to mention abuse, I would be fucking done. I don't blame Jennette for her feelings. And I love my mother. I'm lucky enough to have a pretty good relationship with her. And a few years ago, my mother got breast cancer, just like the author's mom, and I was so devastated that I felt like I was working in a total fog. I stepped back from social media and it was all I could do to focus on my day job because I was so upset. But I know that other people's experiences aren't like that, and we don't get to dictate how other people mourn (or choose not to). My mother ended up okay, but I would have been really sad if the worst happened, and that's because she was a good mom and she still works hard at being a good person. People who don't try to be good people are owed nothing. Why enshrine the dead if they leave behind a legacy of trash? The title is shocking but only because we tend to airbrush the pasts of the departed.

I'M GLAD MY MOM DIED rejects this premise. In this memoir, Jennette McCurdy lays out her upbringing in painfully explicit detail, starting from her mother's hoarding and growing up in poverty in a house that sounded like it should have been condemned, to the way her mother forced her into acting and she ended up being the golden goose that kept her family afloat after years of living hand to mouth. She talks about the way her mother emotionally manipulated her, and her guilt. She talks about how she started to get body dysmorphia because she felt like the only way she could continue to be successful was to look like a child forever, and when she expressed this fear to her mom, her mom taught her how to starve herself, starting an eating disorder that would basically rule her emotional breaks and her relationship with food for over a decade. She talks about her hatred of acting, what it was like working under the man she calls "The Creator" at Nickelodeon (we know who), her friendship with Miranda, and her jealousy and resentment of Ariana. And then she writes about her utterly conflicting feelings when her mother began to die of another bout of cancer, still manipulating her emotions.

This book stressed me out so much. I think it would be very triggering for people with eating disorders and people with abusive parents, as it is SO descriptive when it comes to these passages. It's also a brand new look into celebrity, because most celebrity memoirs are written by people who are still in the business, but this is kind of a fuck-you memoir written by someone who doesn't care if their bridges are burned, so she really unhauls all the dirt in a way that someone who probably wanted to keep working in this field wouldn't. It's really well-written but the writing can, at times, feel a bit amateurish. McCurdy has a lot of raw talent but the people hyping her up as brilliant are exaggerating a little.

ALSO, who the fuck is calling this book a "hilarious" memoir? Are these the same people who were talking about how "funny" CRYING IN H MART was? Is this where we open up the floor to a conversation about how women's emotional pain and fraught relationships are often mined for comedic value? Why do people find it so amusing when women hate their mothers? My review is already getting longer than I intended it to, but this is definitely a trend I've noticed lately where I'll pick up a memoir that's supposed to be funny and instead it's just an emotionally wrenching book about a woman dealing with her trauma. Ha-ha, I guess. Fuck that.

Do read this book, if you are in a healthy mental space, but gird yourself against the hype. It is not Jesus's Second Coming. It is just a very brave story about a woman trying to come clean with herself and the past.

4 stars

Profile Image for Mariana ✨.
231 reviews238 followers
December 30, 2022
praying that Jennette makes more from this book than Nickelodeon could’ve ever offered with their hush money

A truly incredible and hard-hitting memoir. Whether you watched Jennette’s shows growing up (like me) or you don’t know her at all, I think this book is a must read. I don’t want to go into too many details, so I’ll just share some of my thoughts:

• The writing is easy to read but still poignant. I think Jennette did a great job recounting the events of her life. I especially appreciate how she recounted her childhood; she really nailed writing from the perspective of a naïve child who doesn’t realize how awful her mother is.

• I love how truthful Jennette was about her own fuck-ups. She admitted she was very aware of how bitter and rude she had become, and how ungrateful she seemed (obviously, I think she was justified).

• I particularly loved the section about Jennette’s time on “Sam & Cat”. It showed how much her addiction, mental illnesses and eating disorders affected her work; how much Nickelodeon mistreated her, especially when compared to Ariana Grande; and how resentful she had grown over the years.

The exploitation of children in the entertainment industry is something that really needs to be discussed. Seeing a child star expose the abuse she suffered in the industry is truly heartbreaking, but extremely important, especially in this day and age, where even more parents are pressuring their children and forcing them to put themselves out there for fame. I wonder if in 10 years we’ll see similar testimonies from kids of family channels who grew up making money for their parents in an even more disgusting way: by having they entire lives documented and posted online for all to see.

• Jennette’s friendship with Miranda was so wholesome <3

• A bit of a critique: I feel like certain events were skipped and only mentioned later in the timeline (for example: we never see her audition for iCarly, or how filming the 1st episode was, suddenly it was already 3 years into the filming of the show, out of nowhere we find out that she’d been to multiple events and red carpets, she randomly mentions she knows she has OCD and EDs – I guess she learned and came to terms with it off-page…). Obviously, this is a memoir, so the author knows better than me what was important to document, but still, some of these things seemed kind of crucial in my opinion (especially her learning about her disorders).

• The main reasons I’m giving it 4 stars is because memoirs are not really my thing, so I ended up not enjoying this as much as the other books I give 5 stars to; and because, as I mentioned, I think some things could’ve been a bit better. But, again, I still loved this book and highly recommend it to everyone!

(review written on 24/08/2022)


this title is BRUTAL 💀

i'm so happy for her 😌 can't wait to read it!!

Profile Image for booksandzoe.
304 reviews1,796 followers
August 11, 2022
this is a very candid account on the abuse jennette mccurdy suffered at the hands of her narcissistic mother, and how that merged with her experience as a child actress. i don’t think you need to be familiar with her show, or even know/care about her as a person to glean lots from this book, and i think it's an important text that could even be considered historical, due to her nature as a public figure and the way her story is likely representative of a much larger population of child actors.

for those hoping to get a “tea sesh” about the abuse rampant at nickelodeon, you won’t be getting that here, despite it being what the major media outlets are currently fixating on. jennette doesn’t shy away from talking about her experience with sam & cat (she hated it) and her experience with dan schnieder (terrible person, obviously, whom she never refers to by name), and even dedicates a short chapter to ariana grande, but this novel isn’t centered around that in the slightest, and to come into this book only for that would be a disservice to jennette's story.

reading about the abuse jennette experienced firsthand is completely heartbreaking. she writes about having an eating disorder, given to her by her mother, and feeling beholden to her mother at all times. from calling her ten times a day to insisting on showering her even as a teenager, this book is full of triggering content, and i would urge those who have experiences abuse to proceed with caution.

i think especially with gen z, we haven’t had a ton of actors from disney and nickelodeon speak out specifically about their experiences on set (the $300,000 offer from Nickelodeon jennette turned down may explain that) and how child acting impacted their lives, and it’s a very necessary perspective to hear as the consumers of that media. hearing some of the things jennette said about her stardom were jarring, in that as children we don’t really know what’s going on behind the scenes and mindlessly consume without regard to the actors lives. i also thought it was super interesting to get the perspective of a very self aware child star that didn’t become super successful on screen after their breakout role, and the narrative she builds around /why/ that was.

this book was super impactful, and i have no doubt will reach a large audience. mccurdy's writing style is succinct yet impactful, well organized, balanced with seriousness and humor, told in a very blunt tone. i would definitely recommend listening to the book via audiobook which is narrated by her because it adds a whole new layer of tone. this was a tough reading experience, but i really loved the book and would highly recommend to everyone.
Profile Image for Cindy.
407 reviews116k followers
August 19, 2022
As someone who’s never watched Nickelodeon or anything with this author, I was still highly engrossed in Jennette's story. You can tell she’s more passionate about writing than acting because her writing is of a higher caliber than other celebrity memoirs that were likely ghost-written. She describes events chronologically in such a detailed and engaging way, picking specific memories to demonstrate the dysfunction of her childhood. I appreciated her honesty, dry humor, and even her bitterness and negativity. Her train of thought is very similar to my own mentality (irritability, cynicism, being extremely critical of ourselves, etc) and having that mirrored back from another deeply wounded person was eye-opening. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one who processes life this way... Can we do group therapy together, Jennette?!

While I appreciate the level of detail in recalling these events (no easy feat for those dealing with trauma), I would’ve loved to see more reflections of the themes across the book, like her present-day thoughts on her family, Hollywood, child stardom, body image, etc. As well as her learnings from therapy that she’s incorporating moving forward, just to give the rest of us more hope! Regardless, I look forward to seeing her future work and wish her nothing but happiness.
Profile Image for Ayman.
209 reviews84.7k followers
September 30, 2022
Jennette McCurdy is extremely talented in her writing and i hope she writes more in the future (whatever genre idc, i’ll read anything) because this book alone was a literary masterpiece.

it’s very fast pace. i appreciated how Jennette didn’t go into a ton of detail regarding certain subjects. it was just “yup this is was it is, this is how it is, and this is what i’m doing about it” it was very raw and real in my opinion. no flowery language

one thing i’ve seen a lot of people say about this book is “wow she’s so funny, her humor is great, ect.” which i don’t entirely understand since everything Jennette went through and described in this book was devastating. from the multiple forms of abuse, eating disorders, and having to grow up too fast….um where is the humor in that?! i did listen to the audiobook with this (which jennette also narrated) and there’s points in which you hear her actually crying.

nonetheless, i’m glad to see Jennette thriving in her writing career which she always wanted. i wish her nothing but the best for her.
Profile Image for Chelsea (chelseadolling reads).
1,479 reviews19.4k followers
August 10, 2022
I feel weird giving someone's personal experience a rating so I'm leaving this un-rated, but please know that this was really something incredible. I absolutely recommend checking this one out if you're at all familiar with Jennette, but please do tread with caution if you're sensitive to discussions of eating disorders as this revolves pretty heavily around her struggles with disordered eating and bulimia.

CW: child abuse, narcissistic parents, disordered eating, fatphobia, terminal illness (breast cancer), hoarding, use of r-slur, depictions of ocd, depictions of bulimia/purging, gaslighting, emotional manipulation
Profile Image for Kat.
270 reviews80k followers
August 6, 2022
Jennette McCurdy writes a hard-hitting and propulsive memoir. I knew I’d be reading this the moment I came across the ballsy title/cover a few months ago, and am happy to report it did not disappoint. Well worth it if you grew up watching her on TV, or if you want to have a long think about the exploitation of child actors in Hollywood.
Profile Image for Jessica.
13 reviews45 followers
August 9, 2022
I’m glad her mom died too.
Profile Image for chan ☆.
1,072 reviews51.3k followers
August 12, 2022
really really hard to read but really insightful and well written. audiobook was particularly great.
Profile Image for emma.
1,865 reviews54.3k followers
December 1, 2022
the hype is right.

this is what everyone says it is: an excellent debut, a memoir that doesn't pull punches, honest, clear-eyed, and well-written.

am i glad i read it? no. this is a grueling read that i picked up based on just how often i heard it spoken of, a level of public discussion i have to assume had to do with the guilty thrill of finding out horrible secrets about people whose faces we see every day.

but that's what celebrity memoir is all about. secrets sell and it certainly isn't the author's fault that that's started rubbing me the wrong way.

bottom line: an excellent example of a genre i'm going to try to steer clear of.
Profile Image for Val ⚓️ Shameless Handmaiden ⚓️.
1,862 reviews30.1k followers
November 3, 2022
I'm Glad Her Mom Died Too

"Why do we romanticize the dead...?

Indeed. Why do we?

Before this book came out, my knowledge of Jennette McCurdy only extended to random gifs featuring her iCarly character, Sam Puckett. I didn't actually know who she was and what they were from, I just knew they were funny and fit my "book review" purposes.

Here's an example:


When this book dropped, however, I was drawn to the title, the gloriously vintage macabre book cover, and the fact that it was getting rave reviews.

I was excited to read this and loved the cover so much that I purchased the hardcover drop instead of waiting for my library hold. I initially started this in early September, but for personal reasons I won't get into, I had to set it down for a bit. I have almost no triggers and can read pretty much anything without being all that affected, but - again - for personal reasons I won't get into, I found the details of Jennette's mother's behavior, narcissism, and emotional manipulation to be extremely triggering. And don't even get me started on the eating disorder triggers. I was also amidst a fairly stressful period in my work life, so I decided to wait until that was over before picking this back up.

Fast forward a little over a month and my library audiobook hold was by then available, so I decided to jump back in with that format. Let me just say that I can't recommend the audiobook version of this highly enough. It is obviously read by Jennette McCurdy herself and I think she does a great job of it.

I think the dichotomies of Jennette's life and story are very interesting and well explained. She is able to get across very nuanced and contradictory sentiments without sounding like a complete whiner. And that's a really hard thing to accomplish in practice.

For example, she is able to outline how, despite understanding how privileged and "lucky" she was to be famous and on TV, she loathed acting, a lot of the fans, and the experiences that came with it all.
^See how assholey that's sounds just me saying it? Well, she nails it in the book, I promise you.

I also felt very connected to Jennette and had a lot of empathy for her. I grew up in LA County and am VERY familiar with almost every location she references in the LA/Orange County area. I literally drive by the Westminster Mall (which she references being that she grew up in Garden Grove, and which is basically a nonexistent ghost mall now) every day on the freeway on my way to work.

Also, I know I said I didn't want to get too woo-woo personal, but I will just say this: I deeply connected to Jennette in terms of understanding the longstanding effects (as a child who doesn't know any better) of being made to feel like you are responsible for the state of mind and emotions of another person - an ADULT person. For years.

It steals your childhood, stunts you emotionally, and really takes a long time to work through.

Some people should just NOT have children, folks. It's just that simple. I mean, what they say really is true: a lot of people spend their adulthood just trying to get over their childhoods. And that's even true for "GOOD" parents.

But I digress.

I liked how self-aware Jennette is. Or, at least, how self-aware she appeared to be in this book. That said, I also feel like this memoir came a little soon in terms of Jennette's recovery. She's very, very new to being on "the other side" of things. Although perhaps this book is a part of that, and so I can't fault her for that. And who am I to judge or criticize.

Overall, this book was a great account of a very unique human experience. I will definitely check out any future books or content Jennette puts out in the future. And I'm rooting for her, her recovery, and her happiness.
Profile Image for Selina.
20 reviews30 followers
August 15, 2022
i am going to read the shit out of this book
Profile Image for Lisa of Troy.
431 reviews4,216 followers
April 29, 2023
Shall we light it up?

A bridge.

It’s time.

When I was in middle school, my mother told me that my glasses were ugly, that the children would call me Four-Eyes. Interesting Fact: No one has ever called me this but my mother.

She taught me a cabbage soup diet and how to put on trash bags and go running to lose weight.

At the end of a long day, my mom swung by a fast-food restaurant. She demanded that I go up and see what the operating hours were. Being super introverted, I hesitated. She started screaming, letting off a stream of obscenities.

While I was in college in my early 20’s, I stopped by my mother’s apartment for a visit. She walked right by me in the parking lot. She said that I was so fat that I looked pregnant, and she didn’t recognize me.

When I was making $6.70 per hour, working part-time at Sears, my mother asked that I purchase a $200 set of pajamas for her. When I explained that I didn’t even have $200 to my name, was she sympathetic? No way. She laid into a guilt trip. Did I love her? Didn’t she do so much for me?

What has that to do with I’m Glad My Mom Died?

I know firsthand what it is like to live with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, and Jennette’s mom has the classic symptoms. This book really resonated with me.

I’m Glad My Mom Died is an important work. It lets other people know that they aren’t alone, especially if their parents aren’t top 10% parents. Some parents are bottom 10% parents.

It has been a long time since I have felt seen. The last book that I felt really conveyed the complexity of a dysfunctional parent-child relationship is The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.

Did I spend years trying to win my mother’s love? Yes. But do I want to be the person that she would love? No.

Because I value honesty and intellect. Because I don’t define my self-worth by beauty or popularity.

Having a mother with borderline personality disorder has a profound impact on a child’s development. Here is one study by the National Library of Medicine: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3268672/

It’s time we end the silence.

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Profile Image for Katie Colson.
675 reviews6,846 followers
August 23, 2022

Warning to look up trigger warnings before proceeding. There is a LOT of triggering content in this book. It doesn't shy away from facing problems head on and with an unflinching tone.

I adored this book. It is so rare for me to be impacted this deeply.
When I tell you I stayed up until 5 am to finish this book because I simply couldn't sleep without knowing Jennette would be okay.

I grew up on iCarly. I love Sam. I watched this show with no inkling of an idea of what Jennette was going through. The fact that there are people out there that did know *cough* Dan *cough*, is sickening to me.

This isn't JUST a look at how horrifying Hollywood is, especially child stars, but it's also a harrowing depiction of how manipulative love can be. The way a parent's all consuming love for their child can be weaponized and watered to grow into something this vile and life altering is absolute insanity.

I truly wish the absolute best for Jennette McCurdy. I know she'll never see this. But my heart goes out to her and everything she has been forced to face. I hope she is awarded every ounce of happiness that a life can possibly offer. She deserves a life of no red lights, no lines, no pauses before 'I love you's. She impacted me so much with her honesty and I can't thank her enough for writing not only a horrifying story but also a damn good book.
Profile Image for Júlia.
219 reviews4,044 followers
December 18, 2022
Whoever said this was: impressively funny???? Was tripping on the cleanest weed out there.

I think this is an important book. I love that she was brave enough to write about her life as a child actress, to write about her narcissistic and abusive mother. This auto biography is intense, well written and unbelievably raw.

But it still is a book about a girl who was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by her own mother. Please, keep that in mind before you pick this up.

The title might be silly, but there isn’t a single drop of humor here. This is the most depressing thing I’ve ever read.

Again, I am glad it exists. I am so proud of this girl for being brave enough to put all of this out in the world. I am sure this will help other people who have been through the same.

I just don’t think this was properly advertised. This is one of the most intense, gut wrenching and uncomfortable stories you’ll ever read. So make sure you’re ok mentally before you go through it.

Profile Image for Dr. Appu Sasidharan (Dasfill).
1,263 reviews2,437 followers
February 27, 2023

I was not a huge fan of Nickelodeon, and I watched their shows only once in a while during my childhood. Drake & Josh and iCarly were the two shows I watched. I particularly remember the part where Sam (Jennette McCurdy) talks about reading in iCarly, which became a famous meme.

Her acting in iCarly was spot on and funny. Jennette did a brilliant job while acting, which is why people like me who rarely watched the show still remember her.

Whenever we hear the name Jennette McCurdy a bubbly, loud, energetic young lady comes to our mind, as her friend Miranda Cosgrove mentions in this book. This book tells us that there were a lot of hardships and sorrow hidden behind those energetic and brilliant performances.

Seven key ideas from this book
1) If child labor is unethical, aren't child actors too unethical?
During December every year, when it is nearer to Christmas, there is something that everyone all over the world (especially in America) will do. It is to rewatch the Home Alone movie. The family dynamics of the McCallister family, ingenious script by John Huges, brilliant direction by Chris Colombus, fantastic music by John Williams, and extraordinary production design and sets will make us relive our childhood. Home Alone is pure nostalgia for many people.

Apart from everything mentioned above, the biggest factor that brings us back to rewatch Home Alone is the amazing acting by Macaulay Culkin. I was shocked when I heard that he had to sacrifice his entire childhood to entertain us. He was abused both physically and mentally by his jealous father. The law caught him with marijuana possession. He was arrested for speeding and many other illegal activities. The abuse has affected his mental health, which pushed him into addiction.

Parents using their children as money-making machines by making them actors and making them overwork for different movies when they should be going to school has been a severe issue in the life of many child actors. If we closely observe the career graph of child actors, we can see that only very few become great actors when they grow up.

In Jennette's story also, we can see that she was not at all interested in acting. But her mother forced her to act even from the age of six. Nobody even cared to ask her what Jennette liked to do. She tells in this book that she hated acting, which is why she quit acting after her mother died.

If child labor is unethical, then child actors are also unethical. Then the million-dollar question of who will do the children's role in the movies will arise. If child actors were not there, how would they have made movies like Harry Potter, where most of the main actors are children?
“I HATE ACTING CLASS. Even though it's a chunk of time away from Home, I don't look forward to this class the same way I look forward to church because I find acting even more uncomfortable than being stuck at Home."

2) How did the "Creator" make Jennette's life miserable?
This is another big problem child actors face, the predators on the shooting sets. The author mentions a "creator" who behaved harshly toward her. This same creator also allegedly misbehaved with some other crew members in a sexually inappropriate way.

We have heard about many child stars who were sexually harassed on the shooting sets. Some even make them work overtime, destroying the younger kids' enthusiasm and courage.

I think the only way to prevent child actors from being exploited by parents and crew members is by appointing an internal committee in every shooting set that even has access to mental health care professionals if needed. This committee should ensure that a certain percentage of children's earnings should be solely used for children's personal needs like education. This will prevent the children from being monetarily misused by their parents.

It is challenging to implement this as different countries have different rules and procedures. A very few countries have tried to implement a similar method. But they were all disasters due to their lack of planning and coordination. If Hollywood and people in the USA start implementing it perfectly, all the countries may slowly follow it. A similar rule should be implemented for the children on social media (especially a few family channels on youtube.), even though it will be a little bit more complicated to implement in those cases.
“Cut!” The Creator yells off camera, his mouth full of something."

“But our wardrobe designer said that The Creator explicitly asked for bikinis, and so she had to at least have me try on one or two of them so he had the option. ”

3) How are children's life affected by their narcissistic parents?
Falling into a narcissistic romantic relationship is a harrowing experience. Being the daughter of a narcissistic mother is a much more painful experience. This book shows how her mother totally controlled her daughter's life. The author tells us how proper medical help and therapy after such a long physical and mental abuse helped her recover from such abysmal despair.
"My mother emotionally, physically and mentally abused me in ways that will forever impact me."

"I realize that she's happy and I'm not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine. I feel robbed and exploited."

4) Do we need to romanticize the dead?
This is a tough question to answer. Some say objectivity is born after a person dies. It is true that death changes the light in which we see people. But up to what extent? Can mourning alternate realities? These are a few among the many questions I have asked myself after reading one book some time ago on this topic. The author brings this topic back into the limelight.

Some people say it is better to speak about the positive sides of the dead person during the time of grief, but not focus on their negative facets as everybody also has a negative side to their personalities along with the positives. But what will we do if the person only has a negative side and the positive side is almost nil? I think it is better to remain silent than to focus on the negatives during mourning.

These are the questions that we should contemplate a lot before answering. The answers to the above questions vary depending on the individual's personality and character.
“Why do we romanticize the dead? Why can't we be honest about them? Especially moms, they're the most romanticized of anyone. ”

5) Anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa
Both anorexia and bulimia are eating disorders. In anorexia, people restrict their food intake to lose weight. In bulimia, people will eat an excessive amount of food in a short period of time and then purge them using various methods to prevent weight gain. Both these disorders will cause severe health problems. For example in bulimia due to repeated trauma to the esophagus due to vomiting gastric acidic contents, the person can develop esophageal adenocarcinoma. So, this is a serious medical problem that healthcare professionals should treat.
"Jennette, what you're describing is... really unhealthy. Your mother essentially condoned your anorexia, encouraged it. She... taught it to you. That's abuse."

6) Friendship.
Building a good friendship takes a lot of time, effort, and sacrifice. We can see the author talking about friendships in this book. I remember reading about different types of friendship in a book.

Friendships can be classified into three.

-1) Friendship of pleasure - Friendship ends when the enjoyment and fun end.

- 2) Friendship of convenience - Friendship ends when the convenience factor end.

- 3) True friendship - Friendship based on mutual respect.

The author mentions that she dislikes friendship of convenience.

"I don't like knowing people in the context of things. "Oh, that's the person I work out with. That's the person I'm in a book club with. That's the person I did that show with." Because once the context ends, so does the friendship."

7) What is the problem with comparing our life with that of successful people?
In this age of social media, every one of us has a tendency to know more about the life of successful people from their social media profiles and compare our life with theirs. The biggest problem is that people only post the positive side of their lives on social media. So checking others' Instagram profiles and comparing our life to others can push us into anxiety and depression.

In Jennette's case, she had Ariana Grande as the co-star in one of the shows, and she developed a habit of comparing her life with Ariane's. This is a habit we should never develop, and the author tells us all the troubles she had to face due to this behavior.
"The third is that Ariana is at the stage in her career where she's popping up on every 30 Under 30 list that exists. And I'm at the stage in my career where my team is excited that I'm the new face of Rebecca Bonbon, a tween clothing line featuring a cat with her tongue sticking out. Sold exclusively at Walmart. And I frequently make the mistake of comparing my career to Ariana's. I can't help it. I'm constantly in the same environment as her, and she doesn't exactly try to hide her successes."

My favourite three lines from this book
"Suddenly, I feel just like that little eleven-year-old girl who was confused and scared and uncertain. That eleven-year-old girl who was doubtful that I knew the whole truth of my situation, who was unsure that my mother was the hero she pretended to be, but who shoved that doubt down."

"I don't like when grown-ups make faces or sounds that I don't understand. It's frustrating. It makes me feel like I'm missing something.”

"And the kids who are annoying, don't take direction, ask questions—those are the kids who won't get sent out on auditions. The kids who will get auditions are the ones who shut up and do as they're told."

What could have been better?
The title of this book is a brutal one. I think Jennette should have given it a much more positive title. This current title will indeed pull the attention of many new readers to this book. But it also has its demerits. Whenever the author hears or sees the name of this book in the future, the first emotion that will come to her mind might be anger and sadness just because of this title.

I can never tell that the author should have forgiven her mother as she had to suffer a lot due to her. But still, I think the title is brutal, and it should have been a different optimistic one.

5/5 This celebrity memoir might be a difficult book, but you should never miss the opportunity to read it.

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Profile Image for s.penkevich.
962 reviews6,805 followers
December 9, 2022
**Winner of the 2022 Goodreads Choice Award for Memoirs!**

Chances are, if you have a TikTok or Instagram you know what this book is. I mean, I'm Glad My Mom Died was on back order already the morning it was published and was a sought after title all August and is a book you just cannot avoid if you have an internet connection or local bookstore. Nor should you. Jennette McCurdy, the former iCarly actress, speaks so openly and candidly about a lifelong cycle of abuse and dependency with her mother (who passed in, as the title likely led you to assume), chronicling trauma and serious mental health struggles such as eating disorders that all were brought upon her through the need to serve her mother’s wishes. It’s one I’ve had right in everyone’s faces at the bookstore since we finally got copies, as the title is sure to solicit reactions and I privately enjoy seeing them, but also it is an important look at abuse and recovery. I had to finally read it. I mean we all deserve a Hot Girl Summer but can I truly say I had one if I didn’t read any Colleen Hoover, Beach Read or at least this, the most popular book of the end of summer? No. And I’m glad I did pick this up to read at work because this deserves all the hype and more, and I hope this is another success on McCurdy's road to improved mental health. While she loved her mother, their relationship was often abusive and left a lot to detangle in adulthood. Deeply personal and moving, this is a look into McCurdy's life as well as a necessary warning about the ways young girls are objectified, commodified and exploited, even by those closest to them.

I realize that she’s happy and I’m not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine. I feel robbed and exploited.

That line says it all, honestly. This is an upsetting account of McCurdy's life, and one where all the warning signs were out in the open and ignored. Especially by Nickelodeon who don’t exactly come across well here. We’ve heard horror stories about the treatment of child actors for as long as there have been child actors, though this isn’t simply another case file of grievances but a really heartfelt self-examination and testimony. McCurdy comes across as very open and honest, and it really paints a positive look at her as a person who has gone through so much. There are times when she discusses the anger she felt, which feels justified and as Soraya Chemaly talks about in the book Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger, sometimes anger is the appropriate response in order to not be silenced or ignored. It can be an important tool, or an armor as McCurdy describes:
I became an angry person with no tolerance for anyone. I'm aware of this shift and yet have no desire to change it. If anything, I want it. It's armor. It's easier to be angry than to feel to pain underneath it.

She also expresses feelings of regret for having lashed out in these times, looking at how abuse shouldn’t just beget another cycle of abuse, and these discussions seem to come from a place of maturity and healing. It is likely very encouraging and empowering for victims of abuse to read much of this book, though heads up, it does get into some very triggering situations and topics.

Mom only sits in when I’m being the thing she wanted to be.

McCurdy shows how so much of her life was lived to be what her mother wanted, and much of this became painful. She was raised in a Mormon household and was homeschooled by her mother, a mom who wanted to always present a perfect image and often lashed out hurtfully. In short, McCurdy is open about her mom having narcissistic tendencies, and while she is still caring for her mother (she does make it clear she very much loved her mother), the scars are quickly apparent. From years of life like this, McCurdy felt she lacked an authentic self, and this carried over into struggles with body image from seeing one’s own self as an object that serves others instead of something personally only yours. This is a major theme in the essays in My Body by Emily Ratajkowski for those looking for further reading on the subject. When fearing her breasts would grow during puberty, the mother encouraged extreme calorie reduction and dangerous dieting practices. While discussions of the mother bookend this memoir, the bulk of the middle portion is about eating disorders. Most tragic is the moment in the hospital with her siblings saying goodbye to her mother when she says the one thing she thinks could actually make her mother proud of her:
I'm in the ICU with my dying mother, and the thing that I'm sure will get her to wake up, is the fact that in the days since mom has been hospitalized, my fear and sadness have morphed into the perfect anorexia motivation cocktail, and finally I have achieved mom's current goal weight for me: 89 pounds.

There is a lot to be said about the ways this reflects a general attitude around young women and girls, especially in the entertainment industry and how it robs them of their own agency. ‘I was conditioned to believe any boundary I wanted was a betrayal of her, so I stayed silent,’ she writes, and in this we see how these systems perpetuate themselves: silence. Young women and girls are broken down to believe they are in service to another (we could get into a long discussion on how this is the social framing inflicted by the intersections of misogyny and capitalism) and silence is induced by making them first feel they wouldn’t be believed or listened to but also that they deserve it, it’s for their own good or that they don’t even have the agency to speak out. It is truly tragic how often victims of abuse are silenced when they do speak out, which is another tool in oppression.

So this book is a lot, but it is also very good and seems very healing. I was under the impression based on how it was presented and marketed that this was more of a comedic memoir, so heads up if that was what you assumed as well, but the weight and power of her words as she discusses a lifetime of abuse is definitely worth reading for. It does read very plainly, almost like a “class assignment” type of tone recounting events, though they are certainly difficult memories to have to revisit. I hope McCurdy is doing well, and it is very honorable of her to use her experience to reach out and help others in this way. There could have been more depth to some of it, but this is less a look at the causes and social critiques and more at the personal effects she endured. There are great reminders too about how to move forward and not get bogged down in being perfect, such as when she writes that ‘slips are totally normal. When you have a slip, it’s just that. A slip. It doesn’t define you. It doesn’t make you a failure. The most important thing is that you don’t let that slip become a slide‘. I won’t get too much more into it, as you should probably read the book and this is McCurdy's story to tell, but I am very glad I read this.

'My mom didn't get better. But I will.'
Profile Image for Riley.
429 reviews21.7k followers
August 10, 2022
very powerful and also very funny. this is by far one of the best memoirs I've read
Profile Image for Angela Reads.
20 reviews18 followers
August 12, 2022
I’m happy Jennette was able to tell her story and show how terrible it is to have such an abusive mom and what the entertainment industry can do to a child.
My rating does not reflect how true and important the telling of her story is.

The writing of the story however, was very painful to get through. It could have been edited better with how repetitive it is. It also has no self reflecting within the story, not that she isn’t a victim cuz she is. How she viewed other women and other women friendships also bothered me. I can see how coming from such a competitive career like acting could HAVE caused that but, I would HAVE loved to see some self-reflecting on that part as well.
Profile Image for farith.
342 reviews462 followers
August 25, 2022
as victoria justice would say: ‘i think we’re ALL glad her mom died’.
Profile Image for Letitia  | Bookshelfbyla.
130 reviews76 followers
August 12, 2022
Wow. A very revealing and honest memoir. Unsure what parts people found funny. I didn’t laugh once and didn’t see any parts that were structured for humor.

Nickelodeon and Disney was a huge part of my childhood and I loved iCarly and loved Sam. Hearing Jennette’s story is another example of how you don’t know what’s happening to someone behind closed doors. As talented as she was in acting, I’m glad she made the decision to walk away. No one should be forced into a career they never wanted - especially a career as draining and consuming emotionally, mentally and physically as acting.

Her mother’s abuse was tough to hear. It’s more painful to see how much Jennette wanted to appease her mom all the way until the very end of her life. She consistently put her mom’s needs before her own and her mom would willingly exploit and manipulate her knowing this.

The title and cover is alarming and provocative but justified. If you assume Jennette never loved her mother, the story proves the exact opposite. The title is not a reflection of Jennette but the treatment of her mother towards her. Her mother severely betrayed and abused her and Jennette loved her while she was alive despite it. But time and healing allowed her to see the long term damage her mother has done and some damage is irreversible. Her story sheds more light to how we shouldn’t turn a blind eye to all the different forms, relationships and dynamics abuse can happen. If anything, parental abuse should be looked at with the utmost seriousness due to the power dynamic and pressures to love your family despite their faults, even when they hurt you.

I could go on, but if any part of her story interests you, I would recommend reading. Major trigger warnings for abuse, eating disorders, bulimia, and anorexia. She is very blunt and candid about her life with eating disorders.

Jennette from an early age wanted to write but her mom didn’t support her. I’m glad Jennette is finally able to do what she always wanted.
Profile Image for ale ‧ ₊˚୨ ♡ ୧ ₊˚.
411 reviews2,129 followers
August 25, 2022
my blog review

TW: Anorexia, abuse (emotional, child), bulimia, cancer, eating disorders, drugs and alcohol abuse, death, grief, mental illness, manipulation, grooming.

To me, reading and rating a memoir is something delicate, because that person is opening up about their experiences, their traumas, thoughts and emotions that are very private or painful sometimes.

Wow, I have no words. I'm just proud of Jennette and wish for her the best because she deserves a good life, happiness and so much love.

Must of us grew up watching Nickelodeon shows like iCarly, Drake & Josh, Big Time Rush, Zoey 101 and many more, laughing at many characters' jokes or actions, not knowing that perhaps some of those actors were having a really bad time.

This memoir isn't about Jennette's days in Nickelodeon, yes, she talks about some of her struggles. This memoir is about her early years, before and getting in the entertainment industry, her teen years and early adulthood. It's really painful to read about Jennette's struggles with food. While on iCarly she (her character) was obsessed with food, Jennette was obsessed with it, too, but not in the same way. Her mother impossed onto her this unhealthy routine that developed in anorexia and years later in bulimia.

This book is totally worth to read. And I totally loved it. Jennette is a wonderful story-teller, I liked the writing, that is so captivating and beautiful.

I'm really proud of her and wish to her nothing but happiness.
Profile Image for Sunny.
698 reviews3,680 followers
August 3, 2022
I devoured this book, it hit close to home in a way I did not fully expect. The writing was a bit terse at times, so maybe 4.5 stars?? Idk I feel weird rating memoirs obviously but the honesty and vulnerability and truth in McCurdy’s story was shocking and incredible. I wish nothing but the best for her!! But also based off of her narration of her own life, I wonder if she is gay???? Sorry sorry I’m lesbian projecting maybe but like… anyways this peak into the horror and brutality of child stardom and Hollywood’s bullshit was so moving and insightful, and the shift from a childish voice and perspective at the beginning of the book as it progressed onward was well done I think. I feel like anyone who’s seen any episode of iCarly or any other Nickelodeon show should definitely read this…
Profile Image for Kat (semi-hiatus until October).
241 reviews661 followers
July 11, 2023
When my two kids were young, I used to watch iCarly with them every week. I'm actually not sure who enjoyed it more, me or them, to be honest! Anyone who watched the Nickelodeon show knows that Jennette McCurdy's character, Sam Puckett, wasn't one to mince words. Her sarcastic, jaded humor was one of the funniest aspects of the show, and I appreciated that she was a character without pretense - a "what you see is what you get" type.

Fast forward ten years, and now Jennette McCurdy, unencumbered by a character she seems to wish she'd never had to embody, has written her own truth. It's raw, unfiltered and without pretense and possesses more than a little of that jaded humor, suggesting that maybe you can never fully escape who you are, even when you're acting.

At its heart, this is a book about Jennette surviving the trauma of her mother Debra's abuse and the multitude of ways it impacted her sense of identity, mental health, coping mechanisms and life choices. It's about a girl who couldn't separate who she was from who her mother insisted she be. It's about a girl who lost the chance to follow her own dreams while her mother vicariously lived hers through her only daughter. It's about a mom using her survival against cancer and the family's Mormon faith to emotionally entrap and manipulate her daughter into behaving as she wished lest Jennette's 'disobedience' cause Debra's sickness to return. It's about a girl so enmeshed with her mother that even when she finally moved out into her first apartment, her mother used her illness as an excuse to move in with her.

This isn't run-of-the-mill stage mom stuff. This is a vivid portrayal of the impact a narcissistic, manipulative parent can have on their child. It just so happens the person involved is famous. Jennette was pushed into a career she didn't want at six years old. She experienced extreme anxiety, OCD, panic attacks, codependency and sexual, verbal and emotional abuse at the hands of her mother. She experienced inappropriate overtures and manipulation at the hands of a Nickelodeon figure, simply named "The Creator" in the book, but undoubtedly Dan Schneider, who created iCarly. Perhaps worst of all, and this is something that many who experience trauma will understand, is what she suffered at her own hands trying to cope with the abuse. She developed anorexia, bulimia, alcoholism, questionable sexual relationships, anger issues, and deep-seated insecurity that continued well after Debra's eventual death.

These are darker topics, but what Jennette did so well in this memoir is to lay things bare and be vulnerable with her pain while balancing it with her wit and humor. She takes you through her emotional journey and leaves you with the sense that, after much reflection and therapy, she'll be OK and that those experiencing similar things in their lives can be too. I listened to the audiobook read by the author herself, and it felt like an intimate conversation between her and her audience. It's very well written, and I have every confidence it's only the beginning of the writing career SHE wanted!

Profile Image for Rodrigo Unda.
Author 1 book4,005 followers
August 12, 2022
Me cuesta darle una calificación a un libro autobiográfico, pero tienen que saber que está escrito y estructurado muy bien.

Es impactante todo lo que la autora vivió desde que era muy pequeña. Y con este libro, que tiene una voz única y honesta, podemos entender lo que es crecer con fama y con una mamá que abusa de ti física y psicológicamente.

Admiro mucho el trabajo que hizo Jennette para escribir este libro, ya que se nota el trabajo de exploración para recordar las emociones que sintió desde que tenía 6 años, hasta las dificultades que tuvo que pasar para poder sanarlas.

Es importante darle visibilidad a los trastornos alimenticios, ya que han sido una problemática por mucho tiempo y han causado estragos en millones de personas. Es bueno que ese haya sido el enfoque principal de estas páginas. Sin olvidar del abuso de poder que vivió por parte de Dan Schneider en Nickelodeon.

Alzar la voz, permite que más personas se animen a levantarla. Así que se le agradece a Jennette su valentía. Recomendado.

Pronto reseña completa en mi canal.
Profile Image for Jesse (JesseTheReader).
468 reviews176k followers
December 31, 2022
This book was incredible. I can't imagine going through as much as Jennette McCurdy did and then having the courage to recount those hardships for all to read. I know this is a book that will stick with me and I'll continue to process the stories she shared within the book.
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