Lidia Russkova

“The first time I walked alone, thirteen, I was terrified. A twig snapped under my shoe; my heart revved wildly. I’d walked these sidewalks a thousand times with my mom, yet I was scared by all her fears. Don’t talk to strangers, walk quickly past parked cars, look both ways, all ways, always. Be alert. There was so damn much to remember to stay safe.”
― Aspen Matis, Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

“She wrote something down. She held her eyes firm on the pad. "Marijuana is a hallucinogen," she said softly.”
― Aspen Matis, Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

“I felt the urge to sprint, my body felt freer striding faster. I was terribly shaken, though nothing bad had happened. Intellectually it seemed that I should want to stay with Icecap and Edison. We had all smoked, I had decided to make myself vulnerable to new men, to trust them, and these boys had proven themselves to be worthy of my trust. They hadn’t touched me, nothing bad had happened; I had proven my mother wrong. I had weighed the situation, I’d felt safe, and this had been my chance to remind myself that rape wasn’t normal.”
― Aspen Matis, Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

“Her assessment was that I had poor judgment, and my rape had immediately confirmed it. I believed that the rape had erased all of the progress I’d made in my time hiking and proved my mother right. Immediately. I was hurting with not only the shame of the rape, but also the shame of feeling I’d wanted to prove myself a valid, independent person—but I couldn’t.”
― Aspen Matis, Girl in the Woods: A Memoir