Greg

“The phrase 'sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist' suddenly flew through my mind.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay”
― David Wong, This Book Is Full of Spiders

“Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don't know what it is. Well I know. It's apathy.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Once you get a brother, you don’t give him up easy.”
― Orson Scott Card, Ender's Shadow