This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

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I hate how lazy and forgetful my roomate is

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message 1: by Colleen (new)

Colleen (nightoleander) J. is not the filthiest roomate I have ever lived with but by God constant reminding (he says it isn't nagging as he has the attention span of a fruitfly) and leaving stuff all over the house even a quick smack bottom hardly gets him moving. He doesn't clean up after himself and only helps cleans house if I strongarm him into it.

I live with a gay guy who defies all mo stereotypes, messy, no desire or ability to cook or decorate, dresses like a straight frat boy/goth poseur hopes to find a bf but walks around in public with his ipod in his ears and is glued to mindless surveys on the myspace.

I love him as my friend but I am about to go on a rampage. Grrrrr.....


message 2: by [deleted user] (last edited Jan 27, 2009 08:27AM) (new)

You need a vacation. Possibility?


message 3: by Tracy (new)

Tracy hey, are you sure you're not living with my former roomate? does he also smoke like a chimney? freak out if the expiration date on food is even getting close? tell you far more about his sex life than you ever wanted to know?

if he is, beware. one day he might move out and leave you with a couple of pets he no longer wants.


message 4: by Colleen (new)

Colleen (nightoleander) Naw, I have taken vacation since moving in with J. and I have to call or leave DETAILED instructions to do simple things like get the f***ing mail and water plants never mind trying to get him to clean when I am gone. It's almost worse when I am away.

I actually got a hate note from the postman once reprimanding the lack of mail being picked up for over a week.

He killed two plants by withholding water also.

No, one bonus is he don't drink don't smoke (what does he do? NOTHING!). No pets of his unless you count dustbunnies and smells he collects in his room.


message 5: by Colleen (last edited Jan 27, 2009 10:58PM) (new)

Colleen (nightoleander) No, not possible he sleeps on an old tore up ratty twin mattress on the floor (no boxspring). He stole it from his last roomates.

We have lived together three months, he has yet to wash his sheets or his blanket that he drags all over the house


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

Gross. It's time to move! Possibility?


message 7: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Um, Tambocita, what is this new speech pattern you're experimenting with? The whole making a statement and then writing "Possibility?".


message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

I dunno. What's with your new nickname for me? I like it, don't get me wrong.

I used to tell people that my name was short for Sarita or Sarafina when I was younger.


message 9: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Bunny, no problem.

Tambocita, it just came to me, and I liked it.




message 10: by Tracy (new)

Tracy why does he drag his bed all over the house? did i read that wrong?


message 11: by Colleen (new)

Colleen (nightoleander) Ah... locked into a lease but look forward to moving May '09.

Tracy; he has a bottom sheet (an extra of mine I gave to him as he was sleeping on bare mattres in his knickers), top sheet and a big blanket that he drags around the house often falling asleep on my couch and refusing to get up and go to bed.

I fixed that sh*t though, after vocal demands he retire to his room and silent refusals to do so, I will stand over him spraying water from a squirt bottle till he gets up. hehehe

I went in his room a week ago and put a glade plug in scented oil thingy in his room complete with scented oil. He came home and upon entering his room sniffed quizically so I told him his room smells awful and he needs to wash his damn sheets.

Left the plug-in where it is but still no washing of his sheets or blanket.

He does shower daily and wash and iron his clothes though. We both have our own bathrooms, I clean mine weekly and he has been averaging cleaning his (aka also the bathroom guests would use) monthly.

Takes baths all the time in his dirty gunky bathtub which sports a scummy ring 'round the edges.


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

Sleeping on a bare mattress is the MOST DISGUSTING THING, ever.


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

How are you worse, KD?


message 14: by Colleen (new)

Colleen (nightoleander) A bare USED matress from God knows where in undies none the less!


message 15: by Tracy (new)

Tracy good god! that is disgusting! when i was given the choice between a discount (possibly used) mattress and an air mattress, i chose the air mattress. FOR THREE YEARS!

yucky.


message 16: by Colleen (last edited Jan 30, 2009 05:31PM) (new)

Colleen (nightoleander) How about the sheets and blanket being so rank I walk by his room and can smell them, strongly. I wash my sheets once a week and I love the feel and scent of fresh sheets... so WTF? Why does he insist on sleeping in his own yuckiness?

And p.s. I keep telling him what if he meets a nice young man and wants to bring him home wouldn't he be embarassed being a grown ass man sleeping on a tore up matress and funky sheets? He just shrugs and says why bother buying a {full or queen} mattress, I already have one.

Egad!!!


message 17: by Colleen (new)

Colleen (nightoleander) Anyway, the purpose of my post besides blowing off steam and getting validation that I am not being unreasonable... does anyone have any ideas? These are the methods I have tried to get him to simply clean up after himself, participate in weekly housecleaning, perhaps one day wash his sheets and blanket, etc.:

1. Assuming/hoping he is an adult and will behave as if he isn't living with mommy who will pick up after him, comb his hair, and give him butterfly kisses

2. Gently reminding him of doing his share

3. Nagging/constant reminding the man with an attention span of a knat

4. Yelling "do it!" until he does


message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

Why don't you tell him that the smell of his blankets makes you hate your home and feel depressed the minute you walk in the door. Guilt is sometimes a powerful tool.


message 19: by Tracy (new)

Tracy it's hard to break a hardcore slob of his disgusting habits. normal stuff won't work on him. for instance, normally i would suggest just letting him rot in his filth until he gets sick of it and washes things, but it sounds like that was your first impluse too, and he's perfectly happy to stink up the place (actually, he probably doesn't even smell it anymore since he's so used to it, and it's his own scent anyway). and you can't leave him notes or a list or anything subtle, because a) he probably wouldn't notice it and b) even if he does, he most likely won't care. we all know how well nagging people works (aka, unless you're sleeping with the person it's basically useless, and even if you are it's not 100%). yelling "do it!" might work, but that's probably just as effective as nagging.

i'd say your options are: a) move out, or sic the landlord on him and get his ass kicked out, which isn't a great option because then you have to pay all the rent by yourself; b) put all his nasty laundry in a basket and leave it on top of the washing machine (this works best if you laundry room is in a scary basement), or by the door if you don't have machines in the building. that way it's almost as much work to take it back upstairs and put it back dirty as it would be to just clean the damn things and be done with it. however, this means you have to touch his sheets, which is also gross.


message 20: by Colleen (new)

Colleen (nightoleander) Ironically when we did our first housecleaning after moving in, he stole a pair of rubber gloves from me and said he didn't know what kind of nastiness was in the bathroom and other peoples germs disgusted him.

That paper bag idea is great, though I can predict already he too would have 17 paperbags in his room.

Montambo, I am reserving mother guilt as my ace in the hole.

Tracy, you are right in saying breaking a hardcore slob of his habits is an uphill battle.

On the plus side as I do all of the cooking I told him if he is going to participate in the eating of the food he has to clean the GD kitchen after meals. He is slowly but surely do sothe night of or next morning.

I will have a chat with him incorporating the holding personal effects for ransom idea, good one! I would do the laundry thing but alas, our laundry room is attached to the kitchen so he wouldn't have far to go. No way am I touching those sheets. I will throw in that he is lazy as hell and aware of it, stubborn (no match for me though), but seems to move after (sad to say) bullying.


message 21: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) How about humiliation or embarassment? Have people over often, leave the door to his room open, and point out his disgustingness to all comers? Especially if some of the people coming over are his friends or family.


message 22: by Colleen (last edited Feb 02, 2009 12:03AM) (new)

Colleen (nightoleander) Awesome hateful suggestion Tom, I would not hesitate to do it 'cause it's funny, but not this kid. He is quiet, shy and would retreat further in his shell; and he has yet to bring anyone over.

He is 22 with ZERO credit so he basically had to ride in on mine. On that note, I pulled the guilt card. I showed him a website that has done the research on credit cards, pointed out the best one for his situation. Had to sit next to him to make sure he filled it out.

Baby steps.

I told him he should be proud of his room and have finally convinced him to get a new mattress, (a big boy bed ooooh ahhh) and new sheets!

Building his credit and slowly forcing him to grow up, even if at a snail pace. I am making progress. I usually let people just do their thing but this kid is turning me into a Nazi.

Still I appreciate any ideas, comments, etc.


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