The Next Best Book Club discussion
Fun and Games
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Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer
The future's not set. There's no fate but what we make for ourselves.Anyone recognize that movie quote?
Dumb and DumberWhy do they say "fight fire with fire", when the fire department uses water?
To make more business for the fire department. It's a government conspiracy I tell you! lolIf a one-wheeled pedal-powered riding contraption is a unicycle, a two-wheeled is a bicycle, a three-wheeled is a tricycle, what should a four-wheeled one be called?
Well, a wheelchair.Why do some men go bald at 30?
their brains have expanded with water, drowning the hair roots, so they die and fall outthe movie was Terminator, not Dumb and Dumber!
Why hasn't everyone watched the terminator series of movies?
Perhaps they have better taste.Which are stronger, oysters or snails?
snails - no buoyancy to helpwhich taste better, oysters or snails?
I prefer pencil erasers, also they are cheaper.Why is the elevator always on the top floor when you want to go up, and on the bottom floor when you want to go down?
it's directionally challengedwhy won't it stop raining?
Because umbrella sellers run the world.Why isn't there a use for dimes anymore?
Because they're worth a dime a dozen.Is there a monster under my bed?
Yes, but when you check it turns instantly into a dust bunny.Why does hair grow faster in the summer?
Your hair isn't really growing faster, it's just that your scalp is shrivelling with the heat.Why do my cats always wake me up 45 minutes before the alarm clock goes off?
They want you awake to kill that screeching varmint!If a train leaves New York for San Francisco traveling 75 mph and, ten minutes later, a train leaves San Francisco for New York traveling 42 mph, what color socks are the engineers on the respective trains wearing?
Yellow for both-it's a game of chicken on the tracks. When they meet, they'll both turn to (blood) red.Why do humans have hair on their toe-tops?
Because if they were on the bottom it would tickle too much.Do pineapples grow on pine trees or apple trees?
Neither, the grow under pineapple plants like potatoes, and are pulled up by the crowns.What do cats talk about?
How incredibly stupid their humans are; why can't they get that supper on the floor?(at least, mine do.)
Why are people at auctions so crazy?
Because of auction fever! It grips & overcomes even the most sensible person attending an auction...sometimes it may become a permanent condition!!Why is everyone from Brazil an amazing dancer??
Because you can dance when you can't sleep or eat!Why do dogs need so much attention?
Dogs hear EVERYTHING! You'd be nosing 'round too if you could hear every little nuance & sound..Why is that cats raised with dog(s) is more "dog-like"? And do dog(s) raised with cat(s) act more "cat-like"??
When cats look at dogs, they think they are seeing their own reflection and so act like the dogs, and vice versa.Is the moon really made of green cheese?
Not only did it look like the Moon was made of green cheese but also it the Moon looked like it was within jumping distance (to the kitten in Kitten's First Full Moon by Kevin Henkes) Recently scientists have declared there is actually more water than originally thought (on the moon)!If Pluto is not really a planet, do we have one fewer planet in our solar system?
Well, yes, but that's only if Pluto were not really a planet, which it of course is, no matter what anyone else might think.Which is faster, a cheetah on roller skates or a snail in a race car?
Snail in a race car, in the long run, because the cheetah can't control the roller skates and keeps slamming into trees. Can trolls smile?
Sure, but they prefer to smirk.Which is worse of a dogwood tree, its bark or its bite?
Usually the bark, cause it barks constantly!why do people tell dumb blonde jokes?
Because none of all those sexist monkeys can talk !
Why do they call it 'hair dye' ?
Why do they call it 'hair dye' ?
So, for example, a blond who dyes her own hair, can be called a "suicide blond" dyed by her own hand.Does an octopus have 8 legs or 8 arms?
It actually has 4 of each, but they look alike so only the octopus knows which is which.Do centipedes ever trip over their own feet?
Does an octopus have 8 legs or 8 arms? rebecca j wrote: "It actually has 4 of each, but they look alike so only the octopus knows which is which.
rebecca j, good answer!
Do centipedes ever trip over their own feet?"
Only when their shoelaces come untied.
Do seahorses race?
Yes with little tiny mermaids as jockeys.What are hummingbirds saying when the chirp before each slurp of nectar (at least around here).
They're saying grace.Do vampires get cavities?
Only if they eat too many diabetics.Do other animals wish they could fly?
Nah, the sky would get too crowded if they could.Do tiger sharks growl?
No, they hiss.Do first person books talk to one another when alone?
They prefer being ordered around by the second person books;)Why bother to figure out more than one way to skin a cat?
Well, since cats do have nine lives, you're going to have skin the same cat at least nine different ways.What do hippopatmuses have that no other animals has?
Baby hippopatamuses. What is the meaning of life, to a cat?
How many slaves they can capture.What is the meaning of life to a dog?
Sleep and dog treats.What time is the 3:00 parade?
(Seriously, I work at Disney and get this question at least 20 times!)
Right after Mickey hits the restroom. (no accounting for tourists, that's the truth!).Are we there yet?
No, we'll never be there because we are always here.Does spaghetti grow on land or under water?
On the land-it grows in the form of spaghetti ferns, but as it blooms only at night and can only been seen by mountain elves living in the highest Italian Alps, who harvest it by the light of the full moon, the fern is unseen by humans who believe it comes into existence, fully formed, in long cardboard boxes.Does smoked salmon come from salmons who smoke?
No, it's from salmons who have been 'smoked' by a gun, unfortunately their lives are ended with a gun shot and not by some weird silver hook thing which materialises out of the sky with enticing food bits to tempt.Is the sky really blue and the grass really green?
Actually, the sky is really pink and the grass is really purple, but only very special people can see it properly. Everyone else is color-blind.Do crows steal hubcaps?
Of course, but people just keep stealing them from crow nests! Which really irritates the crows.Why do hubs need caps anyway?
Because their teeth are broken and discolored.Why aren't caps (as in teeth) spelled CAPS?
Because dentists don't like to shout.Why do Americans eat pigs and cows but not horses?
The Next Best Book Club
Books mentioned in this topic
Man and Superman (other topics)Man and Superman (other topics)
Man and Superman (other topics)
The Territorial Imperative: A Personal Inquiry Into the Animal Origins of Property and Nations (other topics)
Authors mentioned in this topic
George Bernard Shaw (other topics)George Bernard Shaw (other topics)
George Bernard Shaw (other topics)
What is fate?