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Pet hates (for grumpy old gits)
message 151:
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Mike (the Paladin)
(last edited Feb 26, 2013 11:44AM)
(new)
Feb 26, 2013 11:44AM
The misdirection ploy keeps TV mysteries (and I use the word loosely) in business so now writers (in some cases) have started using it. Intro the "villain" and then never mention him or her again until all is revealed.
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Riona wrote: "Dying over this sentence."did someone use a pain stake on you? that's probably the cause of death.
Mike (the Paladin) wrote: "The misdirection ploy keeps TV mysteries (and I use the word loosely) in business so now writers (in some cases) have started using it. Intro the "villain" and then never mention him or her again u..."True, its predictable in TV, though still egregious. However in a novel I expect more intellectual honesty with the reader.
Yeah, I wasn't endorsing the trend, just noting it exists. I get annoyed with it on TV to, though it does "help" spot the culprit. "Oh we only saw the victim's assistant for 2 minutes when the police were at the crime scene...that's who did it."
Mike (the Paladin) wrote: "Yeah, I wasn't endorsing the trend, just noting it exists. I get annoyed with it on TV to, though it does "help" spot the culprit. "Oh we only saw the victim's assistant for 2 minutes when the po..."
Yes, and IRONICALLY, through overuse it becomes the opposite of the intent, and the one person we KNOW is guilty.
Mod
Awesome, awesome list of rants, John! All of those have annoyed me too, particularly Points 2 & 3 in sci-fi novels. And the repeated descriptors.... I can't remember which book it was, (probably a Cory Doctorow novel I suspect), every character apparently had hair like dandelion clocks.
I will add one more pet peeve though - overuse of ALL CAPS. Stop shouting at me!!!! ;P
Oh yeah, and overuse of exclamation points. So sue me.
Mod
Along the same lines, it drives me batty when a writer tries to change the entire meaning of the book by suddenly pulling some new 'fact' out of their ass.
I love nothing more than a book that skillfully subverts everything you thought you knew up to that point. Done well, it's like the writer is suddenly turning on a light in a room you hadn't realized was dark. Kazuo Ishiguro does this so well it leaves me gaping like a shell-shocked fish. Done poorly, you suddenly get some recollection or flash-back that logically follows from nothing, and it makes what came before meaningless instead of more meaningful. I always imagine the writer's smug little face as they sit there thinking 'ha, totally fooled you!', and I want to find them and smash them in the mouth with a beer bottle.
Whitney wrote: "I always imagine the writer's smug little face as they sit there thinking 'ha, totally fooled you!', and I want to find them and smash them in the mouth with a beer bottle."no, no, this should never be done.
Make sure the bottle is empty first. Don't waste good beer on smug writers.
Ok, this thread is going to be cathartic. I have more pet peeves:
7: Books where the kindle version costs MORE than the regular version. Really? what kind of demonic accounting is that? "Let's see, there's no overhead, warehousing, retailing costs....so let's charge MORE! muwhahahaha!" There are many books I've wanted to read and passed by because I only read on kindle anymore and I am not going to subsidize naked greed like that. My own book is on kindle and paperback, and the paperback obviously costs more, and the kindle version, less. That's sane. Not that I am sane, mind you, but in terms of pricing, yes.
In terms of life decisions... wait... let me check.... still insane.
8. The apparent inability of characters in a series to retain life lessons learned in book one and use that wisdom in book three. This is like the literary equivalent of watching a teen slasher flick and hearing the characters say "Let's split up". REALLY? have you been under a rock for the last century? Have you learned NOTHING?
When that happens in a movie, I start rooting for the monster to kill them, thus upping the IQ ratio of the remaining gene pool.
In a book, that's an even more tedious thing, because now I have to sit through the main character either ignoring or re-learning what they should already know from past experience. This could take pages or be the underpinnings for the entire plot of book three. Just because its a new installment doesn't mean the characters hit their mental "reset" buttons and start over.
This is where I feel like I want to see an even match between two very good chessplayers, instead of one player just overlooking a move due to... I don't know... amnesia?
9. (am I at nine already? man, I'm a grumpy git) Books that don't realize their own fantastic potential. As an analogy, this is like where the author sees the emerald city from afar, and the yellow brick road, and keeps fixating on how they've misbuttoned their gown and take us, button by button as they rebutton it. THERE'S AN EMERALD CITY! good god, man, there have to be a gajillion more interesting things going on THERE, wouldn't you think? Take us there. Please please please please please please....what? no? still with the buttons? *headdesk*
John wrote: "Bad character names. Characters whose name could never be pronounced, or are too confusing to be read: (note I'm using a semicolon) like T'at'q%in-cotalhwryzxxx-xatflmnt.... I've said elsewhere that all you have to do find GREAT character names are to notice what your spam emails pretend they're being sent from. Cool, usable fake names for free. "Ahem. You didn't use a semicolon. You used two apostrophes, a percent and a couple of hyphens.
Most of my spammer names look like your example. Today, for instance, I got kvpn84-if5.ln1 and bpjs74-bu9.ln1 (they must be siblings). Almost all of the legible names were Russian, which might not work well in any book I'm likely to write. One of the most namelike actually has a name with characters less pronounceable than Tat's: Raisa Rosh`upkina. WTF is a back tick doing in a name? The typographic character doesn't even have a real name!
I agree with most of your points, though. The corollary to the overuse of red herrings in mysteries, and that really winds me up, is a mystery that is solved through blatant coincidence. C'mon, give me a chance to solve it for myself!
Derek wrote: "Ahem. You didn't use a semicolon. You used two apostrophes, a percent and a couple of hyphens."HOW DARE YOU?!!??? I... wait, you're absolutely right. I sit corrected.
My spam names, just today, are:
Ethel Caron
Scott Dashner
Abe Spiro
Peggy Taylor
Jacob Armstrong
Eilene Humphrey
Erica Danek
Breanna Ogden
Pricilla Bowsher
Carl Suchan
I must have better spam than you, I guess, Derek.
;)
I guess! I get a ton of spams though (there are 13,000 from the last month), so I daresay I can winkle out enough to populate a whole book without having to set it in Moscow.
Mod
I keep getting "invites" to an "event" to "get 44 ebooks free!" - which is actually this: join this person's group and go to the "free ebook in exchange for review" thread, which has 44 entries.
There have been almost 10,000 "invitations" sent out. What gets me are those people who have opted in, and posted messages saying, "Thanks so much for the invite!", as if they were hand-selected for membership.
I was just reminded of a pet hate on another thread.The whole concept of "unpaid internships" appalls me. I've run my own business, on and off, for about 20 years, and while it's usually just me, I do occasionally hire people. I've never had the nerve to even pay someone minimum wage, let alone expect them to work for free. I take the view that if I don't hire someone to do the work, then I have to do it myself - and MY time is worth a lot more than minimum wage. So, it's a simple equation:
(my rate * my time) - (employee's wage & benefits * employee's time) is pure profit for me.
Large companies across North America (I don't know about elsewhere) take on what is essentially slave labor - often in violation of local labor law - and nobody calls them to task. Meanwhile, we criticize other nations for allowing sweatshops where people may not get a living wage, but at least they get something.
Yeah, 99% of internships are basically slave labor with companies trying to cut costs by hiring inexperienced kids under the guise of "gaining experience". They're not all horrible, though. I've been out of college for less than three years and my field is very difficult to break into -- and it's almost all freelance. I've been employed pretty much non-stop on a variety of projects for the past year, all stemming from one brief internship experience last summer. I was initially hired as an intern for 5 weeks to a costume designer putting up a new show (one with enough buzz that I knew it would be a good credit and I would probably learn something), and he ended up liking me enough that he hired me as his paid assistant to continue working on the show. Then he hired me on his next project, and the one after that... and recommended me to a whole bunch of other people as well.This is the type of career where you really learn a lot on the job, but it's hard to get hired anywhere unless you have a fair bit of experience. (Even then, you probably won't be making much for your first decade or so of work... it's definitely a starving artist field.) I learned a TON on that internship last summer, got a great credit on my resume, and made dozens of connections. That made it a worthwhile experience for me. And at least my daily lunch and metrocard were paid for by the production.
I think those types of true internships are pretty rare these days, though. Most seem to consist of making photocopies and coffee, and essentially being someone's personal assistant for free while learning nothing.
Mod
The whole concept of "unpaid internships" appalls me. I've run my own business, on and off, for about 20 years, and while it's usually just me,..."
Following Derek over from the aforementioned thread, because I hate unpaid internships as well. Not just for the exploitation that it leads to, but because it means people who can't afford to work for free for several months or even years are being priced out of professions because they don't have a parent who will financially carry them while they toil away for free in order to get needed credentials. Bad enough that it's the standard in journalism, politics, and some health care professions, but it's being used more and more is almost every profession where you need experience to get a job.
Mod
Hi, Riona. I sent my reply before I saw yours. Yes, your internship is what they are supposed to be. One where they are actually mentoring someone and and not just profiting from peoples' desperation for resume material. And five weeks can be doable for someone who is young, willing to live on Top Ramen, and doesn't have to pay rent.
On the other hand, I also I had a 6-month internship (!!!) back in college, over the course of which one of the full-time employees was laid off and I was expected to take over many of her responsibilities while still remaining an intern... which is total bullshit. The even sadder thing? I was glad to have more responsibilities because I had been bored to death with the mundane tasks they had me doing up until then. Not a good internship experience!
Mod
In high school we did "work experience" unpaid for about 2-weeks, but I don't know what they do these days.
"My day" was such a long time ago!
When you decide to try a new takeout joint, they mess up the order and forget to deliver one of the dishes, and then the food isn't even very good in the end. I'm a little bit irritated right now.
Waking up on April 30th to fresh white fluffy snow. We are not talking about a smattering here, but about 2 inches of proper accumulation. We here in the sub arctic have not gotten the 'Spring" memo. Its passed us by. Talk about a bunch of grumpy gits around here....I should just stay home.
Oh, Jennifer, I feel your pain. <cue music/>It's a lovely bright late spring morning here... Maybe I'll go out and clean the dog poo from the back lawn.
Mod
I called Dominos tonight & discovered a girl SO stupid she literally could not take my phone number down. EVERY time I said a group of numbers & paused for her to write them down, she would wait until I started telling her the next lot and then shout the previous lot of numbers back at me. I tried FOURTEEN times to give her my number, before telling her, "For the love of god stop shouting over the top of me!" She replied cheerfully, "Wanna speak to someone else? Sorry, I'm new!" giggled and handed the phone to someone else. I got the impression she has done this before. A lot. I didn't even get the chance to ask "Are you new to the WORLD? Or just PHONES?"
Yep. Grumpy.
We got a menu to a local Chinese restaurant for delivery. When we called for a delivery we got a woman with a very thick accent who kept saying, "no you come here." I get the feeling not everyone in the family was on board with the whole delivery thing.
Mod
That is hilarious.
Yes, that night we had "take out", not delivery.
Mod
This seems somewhat reasonable. A lot of people lump eggs in the 'dairy' category, and better safe than sorry.
Ruby wrote: 'EVERY time I said a group of numbers & paused for her to write them down, she would wait until I started telling her the next lot and then shout the previous lot of numbers back at me. I tried FOURTEEN times to give her my number, before telling her, "For the love of god stop shouting over the top of me!"'LOL. Would you believe I heard a comedy sketch about that just last week! Unfortunately they have a podcast of "selected" sketches, but not that one. Every time the caller tries to give his credit card number, the operator gives a long "uh-huh" over him, and when he finally loses his cool and asks her to please just be quiet while he gives her the number, she accuses him of being abusive and hangs up on him. Which is what typically passes for customer service these days.
Thus you demonstrate the result of raising 2 to 3 generations of children telling them how important they are and that grades don't matter because they need to have their self esteem boosted and that no one should keep scores in games and that they are owed a living and businesses exist to provide them jobs, not to service customers and make a profit.
I thought this was pet peeves about publishing and books. but hey, I got pet peeves about life, too!I hate peoples that leave cap off pens that will dry out, like felt tips. REALLY? I mean, really? did it no occur to you the utter waste and arrogance it takes to believe the pen should only be used by YOU and just ONCE? what'ya Donald Trump?
Don't forget leaving tops off in general...tooth paste, peanut butter...condiments. I once took a bottle of red French Salad dressing out of the refrigerator and shook it as the label says...but the cap had been left "loosely set on top of the bottle". I had to throw that shirt away.
I just want to say that this is one of most favorite threads. And I need that laugh out loud time...especially as we move into May 1st...with another inch of snow to brighten our fine May Day. I am thinking I know what mother nature can go and do with that damn pole...
.....I'd rather not go there.
Mod
LOL. I just did that with a bottle of iced coffee yesterday. I'd loosely capped it to stop the cat from drinking it. The last thing I need is a caffeinated 5-month old kitten. I had to wash the couch cover.
John wrote: "I thought this was pet peeves about publishing and books. but hey, I got pet peeves about life, too!"I'm sure we'll come up with more peeves about publishing and books.
In fact... I was just checking that my GR "currently reading" shelf was up-to-date, and found a book I'd finished - and reviewed - a week ago, still showing as "currently reading". So I rewrote my review. Submitted it. Watched it disappear into the ether. Did it again, same problem. Finally wrote a one-liner to the effect that after four tries, the book wasn't good enough to try to write the review again...
(this is the second time I've tried this post!)
OH MY GOD.I don't even know where to begin. In fact, I probably shouldn't begin because it might interfere with my anger management. And because I'm pretty sure there's a word limit on posts and that most of us will be retired by the time they finish reading the entire list.
I'll just post a list of things that aren't my pet hates, it's much shorter:
Puppies.
Ice Cream.
The end.
I've had that happen... I always think, "from now on I'll copy and save that review before I I try to post it". But I usually don't think to.
Mike (the Paladin) wrote: "I've had that happen... I always think, "from now on I'll copy and save that review before I I try to post it". But I usually don't think to."I installed Lazarus to help with that. But I can't figure out what the password was I gave Lazarus...
Derek wrote: "I installed Lazarus to help with that. But I can't figure out what the password was I gave Lazarus... "try "comeforth". lol. I kill me.
Suicide solves nothing...
I just committed to a 16 book relationship.WHY do authors keep going on...and on...and on. I did break up with Terry Goodkind after the 6th book ( i think) I mean sometimes you just want it to END.
So....what 16 books????? I'm in a couple of those "on going" relationships.
Foreigner, My mother gave them to me to read...they sit in a bag next to my bed...I've had them for a month and SHE keeps asking "are you finished yet". Like I am going to steal her books. She even wrote her name in them. Like I couldn't have figured that out.
Mod
Yes. My BF decided to get me a Raymond E Feist book for xmas. Rather than commit to a 37 book relationship, I convinced him to let me exchange it :)
Jennifer wrote: "Foreigner, My mother gave them to me to read...they sit in a bag next to my bed...I've had them for a month and SHE keeps asking "are you finished yet". Like I am going to steal her books. She even..."Ah. I read those. I enjoyed them a lot... when I thought it was a three-volume series. I don't think I read any after that.
otoh, I stopped Wheel of Time after 10 books and Terry Goodkind after about 8.
Cherryh's one of my favorite authors (certainly the one I have the most DTBs from), but there's no way I'm doing all 16... I'll read any book she puts out in the Alliance-Union universe, but they're stand-alone. Wheel of Time otoh just seemed to me that he had no idea how to make it end. Brandon Sanderson didn't seem much better at that.
I still refuse to start Game of Thrones - even though I'm watching the TV series.
Derek;Cherryh is one of my favorite authors as well. I did not realize it was 16 books...until my mother brought it over. We will see how far I get. I think I only read 3 of The Eye of the World Series...I concur with your thought there. And Terry Goodkind is like the energizer bunny chasing his tail.
I will confess to finally reading A Song of Ice and Fire, I got sucked in.Its like reading a 16 books series; I mean if you figure the number of pages for the average novel...(maybe not 16 but alot). If you like the TV show, you would like the books.
A PET HATE ALERT: Authors that take eons to finish the next book in a series. STOP IT.
Jennifer wrote: "Authors that take eons to finish the next book in a series. STOP IT."You have to allow for the fact that writing is hard! And it may take a long time to write a book. Not everybody is like Robert B. Parker who churned out a couple of thousand finished words a day, day-in/day-out, and published 1-2 books a year for many decades. But, really, if you're not that kind of author (Robert Jordan probably was - those 10 or 11 books were immense!) you shouldn't be writing series novels - it's not fair to your readers.
I just participated in a question & answer thread with Guy Gavriel Kay. He takes two or three years to write each book, but I think the longest series he ever did was three books.
Mod
Apart from the fact that it sounds pretentious, and is often an inaccurate description, it just seems so unnecessary.
Chaos Reading
Books mentioned in this topic
City of Saints and Madmen (other topics)A Song of Ice and Fire (other topics)
The Eye of the World (other topics)
A Game of Thrones (other topics)
The Great Hunt (other topics)
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Authors mentioned in this topic
Sidney Sheldon (other topics)Robert B. Parker (other topics)
Guy Gavriel Kay (other topics)
Terry Goodkind (other topics)
Brandon Sanderson (other topics)
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