Fifty Shades of Grey
discussion
Should there be an age limit to reading explict books?
Hannah wrote: "Mary I actually agree with you , the most important thing for a child is to be able to talk to their parents about sex , my daughter and I have a very open relationship within the parameters of her..."I actually talked with my 26 year old daughter about this yesterday. She said that at that point in her life her reading interests were mainly fantasy/sci-fi (she is a big Terry Pratchett and Tolkien fan), but that at age 16-17 she would not have asked my permission to buy a book, she would have just bought it (I have never prohibited my children from reading any book they were interested in). She said she would have told me she bought it and discussed it with me after she was finished. At 16-17, she was driving, so she could drive herself to the book store. If she had wanted to read it at age 13, I would have told her I thought she was too young for this book, why I thought she was too young and told her to wait a few years and then read it. At 13, I think any graphic descriptions I would have given her would have grossed her out so much she would have heeded my advice. Trying to prohibit teens from reading certain books is just senseless in my opinion. Unless you never let them out of the house to go to school or anywhere else with their friends, if they are determined to read something, they will find a way (borrow a copy from a friend, get it from their parents, etc.). The best thing you can do in my opinion is be open and honest with your kids so they will not feel the need to hide things from you.
Im 17 and read this book and thought it was fine for my age group, but for the younger reader it defiantly depends on the maturity of the reader to look past the sex and look at the story line also.
In a way I think that there should be some kind of age limit. Do I think that 13 year olds should be reading about being tied up and being spanked. Do I think that they should be reading about giving oral sex...um no I dont. Im only 20, and I can say that when I was 13 I wasnt trying to read books that had to deal with the amount of sexual dialog that is in Fifty Shades of Gray. I think that if they wanted to read it that is something that should be taken up with there parents. But if my 13 year old asked me is she could read it i would tell her that right now she cant read it because she wouldnt understand and would have to wait till she was a little older. I dont think this book should have been put out there like it was. Because it makes younger teens want to read it.
However it does say that it is a Erotica Romance and that should tell you right there that is going to have intense sex scenes.
Mary wrote: "Kim wrote: "First of all, all this orgasm-ing and passion does not happen the first time any woman has sex"Speak for yourself ."
ummm.....I thought i did....
I agree in many ways with all the different responses to this question, it really does come down to the parents or guardians decision in the end if there child can or cannot read this book. I myself am 14 and I own a copy of the book as well as have read it, but of course before even buying it or thinking about getting it I consulted my parents and they understood what the book was about and what goes down, and etc. But they knew I was mature enough to be able to read and understand this book, plus life isn't all ring around the rosie so I have seen and read many other things in my life that some may say is inappropriate for a "young girl like me to be reading" but its not like I'm just going to go out and try/do these/those things. But yes others may tend to have those things ponder on their minds and might actually go and try them, but at the end of the day if the parents/guardians say it was alright they must have some trust in their child that they believe they won't do them things.:)
Yes, I think there should be an age limit as there is for movies. The themes in this book are too graphic and lurid that I think it should be "Adult Only" reading.
While I agree that we should have some restrictions (or at least warnings), I'd say maybe 14. I know a lot of people on here have said that teenagers won't understand the books, but to be honest, I've seen a lot of adults who have really off ideas about what's going on, too.The biggest factor for whether or not someone should read this is probably more how much knowledge they have about sex and healthy relationships. However, the same can be said for adults. I've sat next to 18-year-olds in class who think you can owe someone anal sex or that you can't get STDs from oral. Don't even get me started on the adults who think everything that happened in 50 Shades of Grey was perfectly healthy (not the BDSM, but the fact he was still trying to get her to be submissive before she'd agreed to anything and even though she knew nothing about it). There's no specific age that guarantees that someone will be well-informed enough to read or watch things with mature content.
A lot of people have said that they need to protect the children, but I think most teenagers would still want to have sex, or at least be curious about it, even without the media's influence. On top of that, as many of the younger posters on here have said, they didn't suddenly decide that they need to try out BDSM. I know a lot of teenagers who read it and thought it was weird.
On the flipside of that, I'm 17, and I've known that I was interested in BDSM since way before I read this book. I was pretty sheltered as a kid, for the record. This discovery came, not from some other erotica, but from, I don't know, everything else? Drake & Josh, the DragonKeeper Chronicles, The House of the Scorpion, etc. I know for sure I had thoughts about this stuff when I was 11, and I think even back to 8. The only thing I got from reading romance is that it had a name, and I wasn't the only one.*
What I'm trying to say is, people have preferences, and I highly doubt reading this book is going to drastically alter them, unless it's the only idea of sex they've been exposed to. The only thing I'd be worried about is the whole controlling relationship aspect, really. I'm fairly sure kids over 13 will know what sex is, and if they don't want to read it, then no one is forcing them to.
Now, if stores could be required to give out information (websites, pamphlet, whatever) about healthy relationships and correct sex information when selling erotica to teenagers, I would 100% agree to that.
*Oh, and no, I'm not the only one to have realized this at a young age. I've run into people on blogs about BDSM who figured it out thanks to violent cartoons.
PS: I'm sorry this got a tad rant-y and veered into "Let me tell you my life story" territory.
EDIT: I'd also be worried, if they read this book with no prior knowledge and were into BDSM, that they'd get some incorrect ideas about it. You shouldn't jump into things like Ana did (or push people to do so), and aftercare is a thing that exists, and a very important thing at that. It's also not always (or even mostly) this exact dynamic, but then again this book was never really intended as a guide, so that last point isn't the book's fault. Again, accurate information is the key issue here, regardless of age.
Winderly wrote: "While I agree that we should have some restrictions (or at least warnings), I'd say maybe 14. I know a lot of people on here have said that teenagers won't understand the books, but to be honest, I..."I applaud you for embracing your true self and not being afraid to admit that not all people are the same (why do you think there's more then one flavor of ice cream) and for not conforming to societies concept of "what's right". I hope that if you engage in the lifestyle that you practice safely with those you can truly trust.
your point of view is also refreshing coming from one so young.
I personally believe that it is the parents that need to police their offspring, NOT society, or the government via legislation.
Paris (kerbytejas) wrote: "Winderly wrote: "While I agree that we should have some restrictions (or at least warnings), I'd say maybe 14. I know a lot of people on here have said that teenagers won't understand the books, bu..."Thank you very much. I must admit I'm not quite this open offline, though. Then again, it's not like the topic comes up very often. And I will make sure to be safe. At the moment, I haven't done anything beyond research. Once I'm 18, I'm planning to explore a bit more, but most of the websites and almost all of the groups are age restricted. In that scenario, I can certainly understand why.
Thanks again.
In some ways I agree, but I have met some parents who I would make an exception for. Ideally speaking, parents would be fine, but some don't have the best views themselves. I've heard friends say that their parents have told them women can only have a certain number of orgasms, so they can't have sex before marriage or else they'll never be able to enjoy it afterwards, and that implies even afterwards it's a short-term thing. While I understand people wanting to pass on their values, I'm not a fan of the misinformation, especially when the kids are older teenagers. That's not even starting on the problems that homophobic parents could cause their children if said children were anything other than straight.
Winderly wrote: "Paris (kerbytejas) wrote: "Winderly wrote: "While I agree that we should have some restrictions (or at least warnings), I'd say maybe 14. I know a lot of people on here have said that teenag..."I am a parent (and an old one too) - I was fortunate to have had a open and liberal mother growing up - so I of course learned those liberal values (sex included - oh the stories I could tell of my mother-LOL) and I raised my daughter (now 30) to be her self, to not conform just to make other people feel better or comfortable - but she had to be responsible for what she did (in high school - she shaved off all of her hair and eybrows (she painted rainbows there) - wore a studded dog collar and dressed in black) that probably sounds like a parents nightmare - but she was a cool kid , got good grades and graduated at the age of 15.
she knew she was different and was able to enjoy that difference even though it put her on the fringe of the "in" crowd at school. Her senior project was on graffiti as an art form (not tagging) and some of the photos she acquired were awesome.
so yes parents come in all different forms, and as children we do/can learn many of our parents attitudes - good or bad, right or wrong, real or imagined.
be true to your self, be a good person, be flexible in your attitudes because learning never stops, and remember what happens in your personal sex life does not define the type of person you are!
Hi I'm 15 years old, and I would like to tell you my little story.
I read FSoG when I was 12 years old. I had borrowed my mom's kindle and discovered the book sitting on one of her shelves. At the time, I didn't know what it was about, but I did know that everyone was hyped about it. So I decided that, being the rebel bookworm I was, I was going to read it.
I got to about the 30th page when I realized something about it was different. There were no fallen angels, or forbidden love between human and demon, no nothing like the books I normally read. A few pages later I read the first explicit scene between Ana and Christian.
At first, I was kind of like, ehh, whatever. I was 12 and I had already heard about worse things happening in the school bathroom. But throughout the story I was....falling in love. For me, it wasn't about the sex, but I will admit, that was something I enjoyed reading about too. For me, it was about the emotion. I know 12 is a very young age but I had been through a lot, and I was--and still am--mature for my age.
FSoG turned out to be one of my favorite books. I emotionally connected with the characters. I cried, and got angry, and hurt, and suffered just like they did. My mom would always ask me why I was upset at the dinner table, and it made me sad that I couldn't talk to anyone about what I was feeling while reading, because I would be criticized and yelled at for it.
People say that when you have sex, you may not love the person, but you get connected to them anyways. I guess it's the same with books, huh? They may not be real, or appropriate, but you still get connected to them on an emotional level that is hard to explain.
Anyway, I began to read more erotic books like FS, and found that I could get emotionally connected to them too. It was like a high for me. Before, sure, all my books were good, but I never really connected with the characters, like I ended up doing with erotica.
This all may sound disgusting to you, or wrong. But honestly? I loved them, still do, and I don't think there should be an age restriction.
Everyone in the world is going to find out about BDSM or harsh sex someday right, so why try to hide it?
The only thing you should be worried about if your 14 year old daughter is reading it is: Make sure she/he knows that the sparks and falling in love after sex thing is not real, and they shouldn't try it.
I'm not saying hand an eight year old kid a book like this. Not at all. I don't think that the age I read it at was even appropriate. I suggest 14 or older, as long as they're mature enough to handle it and know right from wrong.
Just because I read the book doesn't mean I'm going to go around looking for my prince with handcuffs, you know? I'm still a virgin, and plan to be until I get married.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, it's up to the parent's/guardian to decide if there child gets to read this book, or others like it. And your child should be mature enough to know right from wrong, and reality from fiction in order to read this book.
And, like I said, it's not just about the sex. Hell, I understood that at 12 years old. It pretty much depends on the kind of person you are, and how you handle things like this book.
And let them know if they do read it, not to be afraid to tell you. It's been three years since I started to read erotica, and I still haven't told my mom for fear of what she will think.
If this post offends you, I'm sorry, that wasn't the purpose. I just thought you should see it from the point of view of someone who read it at an early age.
I read FSoG when I was 12 years old. I had borrowed my mom's kindle and discovered the book sitting on one of her shelves. At the time, I didn't know what it was about, but I did know that everyone was hyped about it. So I decided that, being the rebel bookworm I was, I was going to read it.
I got to about the 30th page when I realized something about it was different. There were no fallen angels, or forbidden love between human and demon, no nothing like the books I normally read. A few pages later I read the first explicit scene between Ana and Christian.
At first, I was kind of like, ehh, whatever. I was 12 and I had already heard about worse things happening in the school bathroom. But throughout the story I was....falling in love. For me, it wasn't about the sex, but I will admit, that was something I enjoyed reading about too. For me, it was about the emotion. I know 12 is a very young age but I had been through a lot, and I was--and still am--mature for my age.
FSoG turned out to be one of my favorite books. I emotionally connected with the characters. I cried, and got angry, and hurt, and suffered just like they did. My mom would always ask me why I was upset at the dinner table, and it made me sad that I couldn't talk to anyone about what I was feeling while reading, because I would be criticized and yelled at for it.
People say that when you have sex, you may not love the person, but you get connected to them anyways. I guess it's the same with books, huh? They may not be real, or appropriate, but you still get connected to them on an emotional level that is hard to explain.
Anyway, I began to read more erotic books like FS, and found that I could get emotionally connected to them too. It was like a high for me. Before, sure, all my books were good, but I never really connected with the characters, like I ended up doing with erotica.
This all may sound disgusting to you, or wrong. But honestly? I loved them, still do, and I don't think there should be an age restriction.
Everyone in the world is going to find out about BDSM or harsh sex someday right, so why try to hide it?
The only thing you should be worried about if your 14 year old daughter is reading it is: Make sure she/he knows that the sparks and falling in love after sex thing is not real, and they shouldn't try it.
I'm not saying hand an eight year old kid a book like this. Not at all. I don't think that the age I read it at was even appropriate. I suggest 14 or older, as long as they're mature enough to handle it and know right from wrong.
Just because I read the book doesn't mean I'm going to go around looking for my prince with handcuffs, you know? I'm still a virgin, and plan to be until I get married.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, it's up to the parent's/guardian to decide if there child gets to read this book, or others like it. And your child should be mature enough to know right from wrong, and reality from fiction in order to read this book.
And, like I said, it's not just about the sex. Hell, I understood that at 12 years old. It pretty much depends on the kind of person you are, and how you handle things like this book.
And let them know if they do read it, not to be afraid to tell you. It's been three years since I started to read erotica, and I still haven't told my mom for fear of what she will think.
If this post offends you, I'm sorry, that wasn't the purpose. I just thought you should see it from the point of view of someone who read it at an early age.
I think explicit books should voluntarily tag themselves like music does. I don't think it should be legislated but a courtesy. I personally think it's the parents job to try to police what their children are exposed to. This is problematic with ereaders and tablets because it's easier to access unapproved material.I am actually more annoyed that some sexually explicit stuff is being tagged YA, instead of New Adult. I don't mind so much a teen reading a sweet nondetailed love scene because they would see that on the CW or AND Family. I don't like when the racier stuff is being stealthily marketed to kids.
People aren't reading as is so no I don't think so. I read erotica in early high school. Read books about eating disorders and teacher student romantic relationships in middle school. It influenced me in no way.Parents are so quick to buy Grand Theft Auto (which is an AMAZING game), Call of Duty and other violent games for their kids but try to censor sex or even books with the same violent theme. Why? What does that help? Parents should know what their children are mature enough to handle or not. Don't buy GTA for one kid but then police them with FSOG or other better written "adult themed" novels!
I think that it really depends on the child. I personally started reading adult books with mature themes when I was around ten, including a couple of books that my mother had bought and decided she couldn't stomach due to graphic violence and sex. As I continued to read through middle and high school, I felt like I had a good understanding of everything, and I still feel that way. What this argument really hinges on is how much the child knows. I grew up around much older cousins who informed me about sex at a young age, six or seven. In middle school, I remember that anybody who knew anything talked about sex, specifically oral: I remember being in fifth and sixth grade, laughing and making dirty jokes. I wasn't ignorant about violence and sex, and my parents knew that, so they let me read slightly older material, although they definitely didn't know the extent of what material I bought: they generally just handed me the credit card at the checkout line without really looking at what I was buying.
On the other hand, my younger sister was the complete opposite. She was nine and still didn't know what sex was. When she was ten she was still reading American Girl books. While I was very mature at that age, my sister was very naive, and my parents were always checking up on her, what she was reading, watching, looking at online.
So could I read FSOG when I was thirteen and understood what was going on? Probably. Could my sister? Definitely not.
Grace wrote: "I think that it really depends on the child. I personally started reading adult books with mature themes when I was around ten, including a couple of books that my mother had bought and decided she..."Grace, see I grew up way too fast myself. One of my favorite sayings is "I know so many things, most of which I would be better person never finding out." I personally believe the best luxury you can ever provide a child is innocence. I make it a major priority in my household that mine never have to learn my lessons. I don't bring violent or overtly sexual video games, movies, etc. around young children. I have personally seen with my own eyes the worst that happens to overly sexualized children. I can't knowingly say, "... well it's just a book, so it's okay," because I know someone who thought it wasn't a big deal that her kid was in the room while porn was on. Until her son was behind a scandal involving several children under nine and oral sex....Slippery Slope and not on my watch.
At the same time, I do try to talk to them in age appropriate language about body and sexual things too, because I don't want them to feel like cult kids when they go into the world.
Paganalexandria **wicked juices bubbling over** wrote: "Grace wrote: "I think that it really depends on the child. I personally started reading adult books with mature themes when I was around ten, including a couple of books that my mother had bought a..."Yeah, I see where you're coming from. I personally don't want kids, but if I ever did have children, I feel like I would want to educate them about sex and violence personally rather than from the media. I feel like education is important, and would much rather a child hear from me than secondhand. I'd probably allow them to read/watch slightly more mature material, but certainly not to the degree that I did.
No, of course there shouldn't be an age limit. If parents can and want to impose limits, then currently there's no way to stop them, but children and teenagers should be allowed to read whatever they want.
Age limit come on!!!!!!At a certain age you become interested in sexuality... And I don't think it harmed anyone to watch some porn now and then. So What's all that about do we live in the 19. century?
I know that if you prohibit something it becomes more interesting...
NoI started reading these kinds of books around age 13 and nothings wrong with how I turned out...
People mature at different rates. If they can handle these kinds of things well at an early age, then why restrict them?
Arielle Rae wrote: "NoI started reading these kinds of books around age 13...
People mature at different rates. If they can handle these kinds of things well at an early age, then why restrict them?"
You're my kinda girl :)!!!
Spela wrote: "Arielle Rae wrote: "NoI started reading these kinds of books around age 13...
People mature at different rates. If they can handle these kinds of things well at an early age, then why restrict the..."
Thanks I guess? Hahaha
I actually felt that I grew more mature much faster when I started reading what was deemed as 'adult' romance books
I never went through the 'horny teenager stage' because I already knew what is going to happen, so I learned to wait for the right time :)
I agree with Arielle Rae - I started reading romantic novels with explicit content by the age of 9, finding a book in my great-grandmothers book shelve Angelique. I am loathe to limit what someone, child or adult, should be allowed to read as this, for me, creates more danger for society than anything else. I think it is a lot more important to engage with children over what they do read rather than restrict it. Also, I would by far prefer my daughter to understand that sex is only an aspect of a relationship, an important aspect but only one of many, nothing to be scared off but also nothing so secret and mythical that it defines adulthood. Something fun to be savoured. All of these books allow sex to be a normal part of life - so whilst I would keep an eye on what she reads and discuss it with her, I would never limit it.
♥♥Deborah♥♥ Is A Brian Kinney Groupie wrote: "I don't think I'd want my 14-15 year old reading about deep-throating. Sorry, but Anna is really descriptive in FSoG. The story is explicit and if it were made into a movie based on the book dialog...The real challenge is: How would you regulate the sale of a book if it was restricted?"I'd say it would be regulated the same way movies, music, and video games are. The purchaser would have to show ID and would not be allowed to buy it under the age of 18.
Sandra ~aka vamp gal~ wrote: "Yes. I'm open minded, but there are certain things we should keep away from children. Erotic books being one of them. They have age restrictions on magazines, they should deffinently put them on bo..."Agree. Why is it that books are the only medium without an age restriction? Movies, music, and video games all have age restrictions. Books can be worse than movies quite often since in movies they are usually short scenes while in books there are graphic descriptions, over and over.
Christine wrote: "I agree with Arielle Rae - I started reading romantic novels with explicit content by the age of 9, finding a book in my great-grandmothers book shelve Angelique. I am loathe to limi..."Do you think children should be allowed to watch porn or look at adult magazines?
Arielle Rae wrote: "NoI started reading these kinds of books around age 13 and nothings wrong with how I turned out...
People mature at different rates. If they can handle these kinds of things well at an early age, ..."
I saw my first porn at the age of 9. I too turned out just fine, but that still does not make it right. I believe children are much better off saving their innocence for as long as they can.
Amy wrote: "Christine wrote: "I agree with Arielle Rae - I started reading romantic novels with explicit content by the age of 9, finding a book in my great-grandmothers book shelve Angelique. I..."I would rather discuss things openly with my child than have it do so behind my back and take up notions which are harmful and frightening simply because she does not understand.
Let me ask another question - would there therefore be an age when you would refuse to tell a child how a baby is made?
Mochaspresso wrote: "It's intended for adults. However, if there are 14 yr olds out there that are mature and can handle it, then whether or not they should read it should be between them and their parents."I'm 14 and I've read the book. I just depends how much you already know, but people who are my age know everything so yeah. I don't this 8 year olds should read it because they don't know a lot yet about this kind of stuff. You just have to mature.
Christine wrote: "Amy wrote: "Christine wrote: "I agree with Arielle Rae - I started reading romantic novels with explicit content by the age of 9, finding a book in my great-grandmothers book shelve [book:Angelique...Let me ask another question - would there therefore be an age when you would refuse to tell a child how a baby is made"You didn't really answer the question I posed, but let me answer yours. No, there is not an age I would refuse to answer questions about babies, but there is always age appropriate ways to explain it, without being too graphic. I would not, however, let my child WATCH a baby being made. Children should not be either reading or watching porn.
Victoria wrote: "Mochaspresso wrote: "It's intended for adults. However, if there are 14 yr olds out there that are mature and can handle it, then whether or not they should read it should be between them and the..."Every fourteen year old thinks he/she is mature. Come back in 16 years or so and tell us if you were really as mature as you thought.
Okay, As I get older I'm sure I will mature because I would have had more experience. BUT I think that I could handle it so I read it and I'm fine. It was just another book to me. A weird abnormal book, but still a book. Everyone is different at 14 so you cant judge me. You don't even know me. :)
Amy wrote: "Christine wrote: "Amy wrote: "Christine wrote: "I agree with Arielle Rae - I started reading romantic novels with explicit content by the age of 9, finding a book in my great-grandmothers book shel..."Oh, I would not show my child porn but if she comes across it I would prefer her to be able to come to me and discuss it with me rather than being too afraid to do so. I want to be able to answer her concerns, want to be able to discuss with her rather than have her think she has come across some horrible thing she has to hide. The moment it becomes something forbidden not only will she not want to discuss it anymore, but she will actively seek it out. She will be bored out of her mind with a romantic book before she has any interest in boys, it only becomes interesting if I forbid it to her
Victoria wrote: "Okay, As I get older I'm sure I will mature because I would have had more experience. BUT I think that I could handle it so I read it and I'm fine. It was just another book to me. A weird abnormal ..."Nobody is judging you, just stating a fact of the difference in the way adults and young teenagers think and view the world.
Christine wrote: "Amy wrote: "Christine wrote: "Amy wrote: "Christine wrote: "I agree with Arielle Rae - I started reading romantic novels with explicit content by the age of 9, finding a book in my great-grandmothe..."That sounds exactly like my step-mom
Victoria wrote: "Christine wrote: "Amy wrote: "Christine wrote: "Amy wrote: "Christine wrote: "I agree with Arielle Rae - I started reading romantic novels with explicit content by the age of 9, finding a book in m..."Is that a good or a bad thing? ;)
Its a good thing because now I feel very open with her and I feel like I can talk about anything with her. :)
Victoria wrote: "Its a good thing because now I feel very open with her and I feel like I can talk about anything with her. :)"I think I should take lessons from her then - I wish that for mine when she is at that age.
I don't think so. Being exposed to different genres helps the reader realize where their likes lie. When I was 15/16 years old I read the book The Vampire Armand. As an avid reader since a young age, my mom trusted my judgement and bought me the book.
While I was expecting a book about the paranormal and a little of romance, I was surprised to find how explicit it was.
Reading that book helped me to discover my preference of non explicit romantic books and made me become more aware of the books that I buy. Now before buying a book, I take reviews and other books that the author has written in mind.
Superlock wrote: "I don't think so. Being exposed to different genres helps the reader realize where their likes lie. When I was 15/16 years old I read the book The Vampire Armand. As an avid reader si..."
Good point
It is my opinion that books from this genre should be accessible to anyone and everyone who has the ability to view sex as a sacred yet natural occurrence. In a perfect world, there would not be age limits; instead there would be maturity limits. I have known some kids at the age of 13 who were more equipped, mentally,to talk about delicate subjects such as this than most of the twenty-something's I know. Of course, to enforce such limits would be a very controversial and tricky situation. So I would have to agree with the general consensus; an advisory age limit, but that's all. The more we tell kids that sex is taboo, the more it will become taboo and feed the idea that it is dirty, strange, and not to be spoken of.
Amy wrote: "Christine wrote: "I agree with Arielle Rae - I started reading romantic novels with explicit content by the age of 9, finding a book in my great-grandmothers book shelve Angelique. I..."I think that parents should determine what their children read and not make some kind of legal requirement. Different people have different maturity levels and parents are in the best position to determine what their children can read. When I was 11, I tried to check "Of Mice and Men" out of the library. The librarian would not let me. My mother went over to the counter and told her to let me check out whatever I wanted.
Amy wrote: Every fourteen year old thinks he/she is mature. Come back in 16 years or so and tell us if you were really as mature as you thought. I was. Relative to a lot of people, I had a lot of freedom as an adolescent, but I'm a real adult now with a kid of my own and I still maintain that not one restriction placed on me by my parents of the law on the implicit or explicit basis of my age or "maturity" made my life better, and most of them made it worse.
Also, who decides what constitutes "explicit"? How do we keep their personal values from being imposed?
In the context of film, for example, things that are not inherently more sexual are often more heavily censored if they involve homosexuality, female sexual desire, or other things that a lot of people are weirded out by but that aren't more sexual than plenty of things they do show. And if we're going to restrict books for explicit sexuality, what else would you want to see restricted? Graphic violence? Drug use? Racism? Sexual assault?
What benefit do you think children gain from not being exposed to explicitly sexual material? At what age do you think this benefit stops being a thing?
And, perhaps more to the point, in the age of the internet, with online purchases and eBooks and fanfiction, what exactly would you hope to accomplish with this?
Also, have you considered the fact that requiring ID for the purchase (or library checkout) of certain books, restricts access to them for young adults who are over 18 and don't have ID? If what a 19 year old street kid wants to read is 50 Shades of Grey, obviously, you'd rather they read something else, and so would I, but do you think it's preferable that they not read anything at all? For that matter, is it preferable that a 15 year old not read anything at all, rather than have their presumed "innocence" damaged by reading the wrong thing?
I was about 12 when I finished reading the first book in the series. I don't know if my opinion will have any meaning to anyone, especially due to the fact that I'm only 14 now, but it might help to hear from someone my age's perspective. First, it really depends on the family's beliefs and the maturity level of the teenager. In addition, various and multiple television shows have already exposed many children to just the idea of intercourse. I, myself learned about it at the age of 6 and as I grew older, began to learn more about the details. What would be the purpose in creating an age restriction if many teens visit multiple free pornography sites every single day? On top of that, plenty of sites allow teenagers to read and write explicit stories themselves. And let's be honest, it would be less awkward for everyone if your children learn from a book than to go into full detail about it but they should be comfortable enough to ask you questions. Therefore, I believe that there should not be age restrictions/limits to reading explicit books/stories.
Kathy wrote: "I was about 12 when I finished reading the first book in the series. I don't know if my opinion will have any meaning to anyone, especially due to the fact that I'm only 14 now, but it might help t..."Exactly! All ideological objections aside, it wouldn't work. And anyone who grew up on the internet knows that.
As if kids haven't always been reading explicit/controversial material anyway lol. From giggling young school lads barely 12 stealing Playboys during the 1950s to very young ladies secretly gasping whilst reading Lady Chatterly's lover with interest. You honestly think kids have ever had unspoilt innocence during their childhood? HA! As if.
I don't recommend things like erotica to children, far from it. But I think parents need to act like parents in this issue. Answer questions, don't go out of your way to hide sexual material, be frank and honest about why you would rather them not read 50 Shades or watch whatever the fuck at a young age.
In other words, have an unending open dialogue with them, explain to them why they probably should wait a while before reading a specific book or watching a TV show or movie. If you are reasonable about things, then chances are they will be too.
Amy wrote: "Every fourteen year old thinks he/she is mature. Come back in 16 years or so and tell us if you were really as mature as you thought."
I was mature enough, mature enough to read the adult books of my time, and mature enough to know I wasn't ready for the real thing, and was just happy reading about what adults got up to. There are some teenagers who think they're mature and then there are those who are mature.
Honestly, I started reading romance at 12 (grandma's idea) and I quickly realized that while I liked them, I wasn't mature enough to fully enjoy them, so I read some "lemons" online and mostly read YA until I was around 15. At that point I fell completely in love with romance and sex scenes. So yes, I think it's a personal choice since a person knows their level of maturity more than anyone else.
I am a 15 year old kid. I have read the book and watched the movie many times thanks to my sister. I strongly believe that this book and many others like it should have age restrictions because it is not different than a video game or movie. I understand both sides to this argument but I feel like this book and others like it should have age restrictions.
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I don't doubt that there are a lot of 16 and 17 yr olds who can handle the themes in this book and that is fine , I would have no problem with them reading it
I am interested though in what age people here would say defiantly no to .. Since the maturity thing seems to have come up a lot . I think regardless of a child's maturity level no way would I let a young teen read this .
What age would you let a child read this ?