What do you think was the main problem the couple had in their marriage (besides the infidelity)?

[Elena]

Nick tries to justify/explain his infidelity by saying that he wanted to feel "that old spark of the new relationship" again. However, I don't see him attempting to get that "old feeing" back with his wife - instead he chooses the easy route and goes for the "spark" with a new woman. Other than what Nick says, does anyone have any other ideas about what went wrong in their relationship? Did Tess do anything wrong? Or did the relationship (do all relationships?) hit the "peak" of excitement and then slowly fizzle out, leaving the spouses to live more like companions then lusty lovers? Also - do you think Nick lied when he said that he "only thought he loved Valerie" but "that's not really love" ?!

[Nichole]

This book certainly makes you question relationships, because we all have, or will eventually, experience something similar to this someday. Even if we or our spouse never cheats, there's still a similar aura of separation between the two.

The perception I got is that Nick was simply at a standstill in his marriage, and he happened to choose the route that many people these days take, to form a bond with another person, as his way to attempt finding "answers." Anyone that cheats KNOWS what they're doing is wrong, is going to hurt their partner if and when they find out, and may potentially end the relationship, but still, it hardly seems to stop the person. Why? Because as humans, we seem to crave the feeling of lust and new relationships, than dealing with the mundane life that marriages become. This isn't to say all marriages become mundane, unlustful, boring, etc., but that they just DO change. What the relationship was like the first few years a couple is together eventually ends and becomes something else. And then it's up to us how we choose to deal with and tolerate the changes. At this point, it takes work to make the marriage something both couples still like. But while many people work it out, others choose the easy way out due to the mindset that 'they're living NOW, and deserve to be happy NOW,' and can, thus, divorce if they want to. (which they can, unfortunately).

This is what Nick and Tess went through. And while it's ridiculous that Nick ended up cheating on her, Tess could have possibly ended up doing the exact same thing if there was another guy in the picture. Not to sound crass, but most people say they would never cheat, and yet, many still do. So assuming one wouldn't, is tougher than assuming they would.

So, I think what Nick did was simply his way of trying to find an "answer" to the problems in their marriage. And it DID give him answers, even though it's completely un-admirable and upsetting that he had to take that route to learn anything. At the ending, I did wonder the same thing if he really meant he didn't love Valerie or not. My guess is that he actually didn't love at all; he just liked what they had going because it was a pleasure compared to what he had at home. It's always easy for people to confuse lust with love, after all, and it's never until we're apart from the person do we realize it was only lust and we love someone else.

My 2 cents!

[Amy]

I thought Nick did love Valerie, but was too afraid to leave his wife and children. I felt bad for Tree because Nick became so bored with her. Bored with her gossip, her friends, her stay at home with the children decision. We see this in his love for Valerie. Valerie is a single mother who put herself through law school and doesn't ask anything from anyone. I think he took the easy way out (I hate to put it that way because he wanted to work on his marriage), but I saw it as cowardly, leaving Valerie in the dust.

[Amy]

*felt bad for tess, not tree lol

[Shakespeare1620]

I actually thought Nick was cowardly in having the affair. He should have either fixed his marriage or ended it before proceeding with Val and Charlie. I hated the way Nick took Tess for granted and the way he judged her based on the other women of the neighborhood. It showed how over the years he didn't spend time getting to know the woman he married. I found it ironic that the things he found attractive in Val - were really characteristics his wife possessed.

[Kill the Spare]

Yeah, I agree with Maxwell03's opinion about Nick and Valerie's relationship. But I don't think Tessa lacked self respect. The fact that she kicked him out once he confessed bears witness to that.
I wanted Nick to choose Tessa and I'm sure there must people who rooted for Valerie. That's what I hated about this book. The author made us root for either of the woman making it seem like whoever ends up with Nick would be the lucky one, like he was a big prize or something. When he actually was just an ungrateful coward. In fact, now that it's been time enough since I read the book, I don't see Tessa staying with Nick for long.. I think they started out just on a thrill and Nick is one of those men who enjoy a good chase. Tessa deserved much better.

[Cata]

Amy, with all due respect I think you forgot Valery asked for an other woman's husband and for other children's father.
I think sooner or later Nick and Valery would loose the spark.
Even when I didn't like Nick's character I think it was braver choose the hard and long road I understand he had feelings for Valery but may be because i must have been great being with a woman who thinks you are God in Earth instead of a woman who has been your wife for 7 years and is raising your children.

[Elena]

Sorry, these two comments got erased when i updated the question!!! I'm manually pasting them back...

Nichole wrote: "I didn't get that vibe from the author... that she wanted us to root for one of the ladies. I think anyone with a sense of commitment or loyalty, would've wanted him to go back to Tessa. Nothing makes most of us happy like marriage that can go through hell and still make it out the end successful. This doesn't give excuses for Nick's actions whatsoever, but it's the reality of many marriages these days."
Sep 09, 2012 01:12pm


Elena wrote: "Well at times i also found myself a little torn between the two women, since they were both strong and likeable characters. I didn't really think that the author made Valerie seem like a home-wrecker, so I found myself feeling simpathy towards her (even though in reality I never would have kind feelings towards the single woman "hooking up" with a married man!) In the book I really did not know what to think - who should he end up with, so I think ~Kill the Spare~ made an interesting point > it seems like i was debating who will end up with him, whereas he is no prize and does not deserve either woman! Nichole - while it's definitely true that anyone with a sense of commitment/loyalty would want him to go back to his wife, I was also thinking "well if he is not happy with his wife, maybe he should be with Valerie" > which is where that whole "who cares about him, he's a slimeball and the women should both be well rid of him - not be competing for him!" argument comes in."
Sep 11, 2012 08:33pm

[Elena]

Cata wrote: "Amy, with all due respect I think you forgot Valery asked for an other woman's husband and for other children's father. ..."

Cata - I agree... but i also think that Nick is the ultimate bad guy here. Not either one of the women...

[Cata]

I agree Nick is the worst guy, he is the one who is breaking a promise. But Valery is what we call in Spanish a "mosquita muerta" The whole saying is " las mosquitas muertas son las peores". A "mosquita muerta" refers to a woman who seems to be a very good person, very vulnerable, never does something to hurt, but giver her a chance and you' ll see.
And she almost catched him, because she was a "mosquita muerta". He was so into her, because of her style.
Sorry for my grammar.

[Cata]

I agree Nick is the worst guy, he is the one who is breaking a promise. But Valery is what we call in Spanish a "mosquita muerta" The whole saying is " las mosquitas muertas son las peores". A "mosquita muerta" refers to a woman who seems to be a very good person, very vulnerable, never does something to hurt, but giver her a chance and you' ll see.
And she almost catched him, because she was a "mosquita muerta". He was so into her, because of her style.
Sorry for my grammar.

[Elena]

Cata wrote: "I agree Nick is the worst guy, he is the one who is breaking a promise. But Valery is what we call in Spanish a "mosquita muerta" ..."

Haha Cata, you are right about "las mosquitas muertas" being the worst; however, i am not sure if Valerie was this... I am not sure if she was doing anything on purpose... From the book, it seems that it just happened to her and she let things go too far... It didn't seem like she was the one forcing or encouraging the affair - at least not at the beginning ...

[Ameni]

I felt sorry for valery; she's the one who was harmed the most. but i'm happy she's not with nick ...he doesn't deserve her. i felt sorry for tess eighter. they are two amazing women and he's nothing but a coward

[Taren]

Valerie deserved to be alone. Please. Tessa was the one being cheated on....

[Cata]

Elena, I think you should delete these last two comments. Thank you

[Elena]

I can't delete comments other than my own :(
We can only flag... i've done that...

[Stephanie]

Elena wrote: "Cata wrote: "I agree Nick is the worst guy, he is the one who is breaking a promise. But Valery is what we call in Spanish a "mosquita muerta" ..."

Haha Cata, you are right about "las mosquitas m..."

I'm sorry, don't agree that Valerie wasn't as equally culpable in her and Nick's start of the affair, that she didn't push for it. Less overt action isn't INACTION.
This is a woman who, after receiving her son's married Dr.'s business card, goes on to Google stalk his personal information. to garner his home address and such. Then she puts the effort into actually going into his gated community, his neighborhood, to stake out his home, and then immediately has jealous feelings when she sees the light on in the front room upstairs, that in the end, she presumes to be the bedroom he shares with his wife. She was wishing she was his wife in that moment. A couple days later she's the one masturbating to him while home alone. Valerie knew what she was doing. I didn't read real guilt on her behalf over getting involved and lusting over a man who is married with his own young children. There was no real guilt on her conscience to stop her from imagining a future where it would be her, Nick and Charlie together as one big happy family, no regard at all for the children he already has (She's willing to take their dad away from them for her own son, how selfish after seeing the her son's own pain?!). She allowed herself to get wind up with someone she should have sent home to his wife instead of following through on her growing desperation to have him for herself, bc she's chosen to cut herself off from the world and wallow in her past mistakes and misfortunes, instead of getting out there and showing the world what she has to offer. She didn't work for shit!

Nick of course is the worst asshole in this story, but I'm sorry, Valerie is just as bad. Her first thought when things started feeling inappropriate between her and nick, and the fact that she knew he was lying to his wife,should have been about how it felt when she was in the street and saw Lion kissing that girl those 6 years prior. THAT should have been the conscience and good-person reality check that should have given her a reason to back the fuck up off the married man. It takes two! And while I empathize with how rough it's been to raise her son alone and without a father, she get no sympathy from me for being Nick's accomplice in cheating on his wife. She knows better, has experienced that sort of pain first hand and made the decision early on not to give a fuck. How could a victim of that sort of pain be ok with putting another person through that? It's all on the pages in the book that tells us her inner thoughts. It's pretty black and white in that regard.

What i don't understand is why Valerie lied to Tessa when Tess asked her if Nick ever told her he loved her? Nick tells Val that he loves her when they are in the restaurant when he asks to meet her in the Commons. Why did Val Lie to Tess about that?

I wanted Tess to leave him bc he's scum who didn't suffer not nearly enough for his reckless, selfish, careless actions. He's a liar to the end. Because he too lied to Tess about not being honest about confessing his love to Valerie.

I also don't understand why Tessa didn't ask Val more information about her husband and Val's time together. Find out how many times he left his wife and children at home to go spend time with Val and her son, cooking dinners and having family night and shit. Tess is fool. Ask Nick if he used a condom when he was having sex with Valerie, you know, all the things a wife would need to know before even considering what she would do about her marriage--her husband.

[Stephanie]

And another thing: In the book, we don't read about ANY-- not one--effort or thing Nick does to contribute to saving and/or changing the state of his marriage to Tessa pre-affair. He didn't help with the kids, the house, nothing. I'm not saying Tessa is perfect and doesn't share any of the blame to the state of their marriage, but SHE TRIED. She asked him questions about his day and tried to spend time with him and be supportive and understanding. He didn't. He was mean and distant and accusatory (typical of liars who a guilty).

I also didn't like during he and Tess' makeup that he made it seam like he wasn't the one who changed at all, that it was all HER. WHAT? No seriously, what the fuck is that? If you were previously a supportive husband, and you are no longer that person in the present, how is that not a change in your character? If you didn't previous lie to your wife and now you do all the time, how is that not a change in character?

Who made the home and children-related decisions when Tessa still had a career? He didn't help at all with that? He's just the same old person? What an asshole. GOD, I hate him. I swear, he's full of shit and did not deserve that simple kicked out of the house for a couple weeks punishment. That was way too generous and soft. Thus, I was not satisfied with the ending. Perhaps I would have been if Nick served penance that was harsher for his misdeeds. Bastard.

In my opinion, he wasn't sorry enough. Those crocodile tears he cried when he confessed was meant to manipulate Tess into forgiving him right there and then. I agreed with Tess when she was upset that he didn't fight enough once she asked him to leave.
Furthermore, I thought he was full of shit bc You don't just come in from having a touching last hoorah (emotionally--tender sweet exchanges of feelings and words) with the mistress you struggled to break up with, because truthfully, you don't actually want to lose her at all, to bawling your eyes out after confessing your infidelity and pledging your love commitment to your wife. NOPE. It rang hollow for me.

This is what Nick said to Val when he met her to "end it":

“I’m thinking that I love the way you look and feel and taste. I love the sound of your voice and the way you look at me with those eyes . . . I’m thinking that I love the way you are with Charlie. The way you are”

“Maybe it’s just physical?” she calmly offers, pretending not to be deeply moved by his words.

“No,” he says, shaking his head adamantly. “It’s not a physical thing. It’s not a crush. It’s nothing like that. I love you, Val. It’s the truth. And I’m afraid it will always be true.”

Tessa, when she confronts Valerie:

“Exceptional men don’t cheat on their wives. They don’t have affairs. They don’t put a cheap thrill ahead of their children.”
As I say the words, the paradox of the situation crystallizes in my head. If she was a cheap thrill, then Nick isn’t worth fighting for. But if she is a person of quality for whom he had genuine feelings, then what? Where does that leave me?

“I don’t think that’s what he did,” she says, but I can tell she is wondering, questioning what they had.

“Did he tell you he loved you?”I fire back at her, realizing that this is why I am here.
This is the linchpin for me, everything turning on this one singular fact. He slept with her; he clearly had feelings for her; and I believe, from the bottom of my heart, that he was—maybe still is—in love with her. But if he told her he loved her, or if he told her he didn’t love me, we are finished forever.

I hold my breath, waiting, exhaling as she shakes her head, slowly, emphatically.
“No,” she says. “He didn’t feel the same. He doesn’t love me. He never did. He loves you.”

See? She Val lied. And Tessa failed to ask Nick this too, just to see if he would be honest. She never asked him if he told Val that he loved her. She only asked him if he did love her, in which he proceeded to say he had strong feelings for her and they had to be close to love for him to have cheated her. LIES. Anyway, I'm peeved about this, and angry with Valerie for lying, because it put Tessa in a position where she couldn't make informed decisions bc she didn't get the 100% truth from Val, which she said was instrumental to her decision. That one lie was a REALLY big lie that skewed Tessa's thoughts and opinions significantly.

[Elena]

Stephanie - you are right...

In terms of why Val lied to Tess > I think that she maybe , in the end, didn't want to hurt Tess even more by telling her her husband told another woman he loved her... cheating was bad enough, but she probably felt enough guilt not to hurt her further by telling her all the details (and that Nick told her he loved her)... If this was her conscience finally acting up - it was probably too little and too late...

And as for Tess asking Val all those questions - I guess the details weren't that important > he cheated on her - does it really matter how, when, how many times, etc? Tess seems to be weak anyway (and she did end up taking him back) - so she really didn't seem to want to know all the dirty details...
I guess, bottom line is that he cheated, that's the worst thing - nothing else really matters...
(I guess for using a condom, etc... she assumed as a doctor he knew what he was doing :) )

[Elena]

Stephanie - did you write a review of this book and did you rate it? I am curious to know how many stars you gave it...

[Elena]

Stephanie wrote: "And another thing: In the book, we don't read about ANY-- not one--effort or thing Nick does to contribute to saving and/or changing the state of his marriage to Tessa pre-affair. He didn't help wi..."

Agreed - i definitely though that , too and wrote it in my review....
"Nick tries to justify/explain his infidelity by saying that he wanted to feel "that old spark of the new relationship" again. However, I don't see him attempting to get that "old feeing" back with his wife - instead he chooses the easy route and goes for the "spark" with a new woman. "

[Elena]

Maxwell wrote: "This book is unrealistic and unbelievable in many ways, in my opinion, and I was left feeling that both of these women are weak and stupid. "

I was also left thinking that both women were weak and stupid, and that he was a cheating, self-centered a-hole...

Unfortunately to me it sounded too realistic and too believable in terms of sooo many couples cheating on each other in real life and then - either leaving their spouse for the "cheap thrill" of something new, or (which i think is even worse) going back to their spouse and both pretending it never happened or claiming that "it made their relationship stronger"....

[Stephanie]

Elena wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "And another thing: In the book, we don't read about ANY-- not one--effort or thing Nick does to contribute to saving and/or changing the state of his marriage to Tessa pre-affair..."

Yep, THIS EXACTLY. He didn't try to restore the happier times with his wife. Like most cheaters, males especially, they are the victims. They are the ones who are not given the attention they use to get once the babies arrive (ironic, since they often don't help out equally with the babies so that the moms would have more stamina to be bothered and able to do so; they are the ones who need to "reclaim their youth and early days of lust filled passion that are the honey moon fazes of all relationships. Whatever.

There are three sides to every affair, it's too bad we don't get his POV. Though, I gotta say, there is nothing there within his interaction with Val (and Charlie) in juxtaposition to his interactions with his wife and children that says he tried to make it work at home; that Tessa was a bad wife; that he wasn't being a selfish egotistical asshole. I can't see where he'd be able to complain and give us his thoughts that would at least make us understand his road to cheating and about his unhappiness with Tess, even if we had his POV.

This is why I could NEVER be a housewife. Most of them, who aren't rich enough to have a nanny and full cleaning staff, are entirely overwhelmed with their duties of taking care of their children and home. They have to do EVERYTHING if they aren't contributing breadwinners, and are frowned upon as being ungrateful if they complain about not having help, getting a break, or being tired. People on the outside who can't relate, husbands included, have opinions like "well, what are you doing with your time all day?", "You have nothing BUT time"...etc. And then they wonder how these women often don't have the energy for sex, to primp and pamper themselves to look physically attractive and sexy all day every day upon demand and the desires of their spouse. They wonder why those mothers get snappy and irritated, insecure, and nag and express loneliness. This is even more the case when the husband is the bread winner in a demanding field where he has to put in 80 weeks and work weekends. Well yeah, how the fuck do you think the marriage is going to hold up when you're never around? These men (some of them won't admit it) often feel resentment of their wives. That they work all day everyday to provide over their family so that's all they should have to do to maintain the marriage and the responsibilities that come with having the role of being a husband/wife. Ugh!

This is why I would have to have a career for myself (if were married) and have to have a partner that understands their obligation and commitment to doing their part in all avenues of our lives as a family. Sure, one of us may have to pick up the slack every now and then, but the majority of the time, it should be equal. I'd rather be able to contribute to my household income so that my husband doesn't have to work all the time instead of being home all day bc he has to kill himself trying to make a living (read investing too much time) instead of having a work-life balance that's healthy for the family and marriage unit.

rant over. Clearly I have a lot of feelings.

[Stephanie]

Elena wrote: "Stephanie - did you write a review of this book and did you rate it? I am curious to know how many stars you gave it..."


Not yet. But I've written notes and have some fragments of what I want to say in it written down. It'll take me at least a day or two to finalize my thoughts.

It's like, on one hand, it was a very realistic account of these real affairs and marriages. Even though I didn't like the end, it happens like that all the time. And overall, it did get me all riled up and emotionally invested enough to seek out a place to vent, but not just out of dissatisfaction. So it was an engaging read. BUT, the characters, even the ones I supported (and accurately flawed), irritated me-- Tessa and her passivity, denial, Lack of sufficient discipline of Ruby (what a disrespectful brat. it will only get worse w/age) and constant bullshit affirmations of thoughts she doesn't actually agree with...and her weakness; Val's weakness and woe is me wallowing and self/situational pity, and blatant disregard for being an accessory to another woman's (and children) pain from a betrayal she knows personally. Like Maxwell, I found both women weak and dumb at some point. Too many points. Let's not even talk about Nick.

However, objectively, my copy had one too many grammar errors (though, it may have been the fault of the digital conversion process). And I thought there needed to be more fleshing out of Nick's character. We really don't get a fair enough insight to determine his motivations as much as I'd like.

It will probably be between 2-3 star rating for me bc of the ending (due to personal preference) and the unrealistic things that happen post fall-out and aftermath. I liked it based on my frustrations. I'm a masochist that way, but yeah, it had some issues.

I've been on a broken-marriage/affair-adultery binge with books lately. I don't know I'm obsessed! If you want another compelling story to read that examines a broken marriage and an affair try Colette Freedman's The Affair (book one) and The Consequences (book 2). That was very good, though a big issue with it (more so book 2 than one) is the wasted word count on repeating whole paragraphs of dialogue in multiple POVs (It's from the Wife, Husband, and Mistress's POV)

[Elena]

Lol @ "wasted word count on repeating whole paragraphs of dialogue in multiple POVs (It's from the Wife, Husband, and Mistress's POV)"

Hahaha i usually hate when they repeat the same thing from EVERYONE's pov! Although sometimes it does clarify things and fleshes out characters...

[Maxwell03]

Stephanie wrote: "Elena wrote: "Stephanie - did you write a review of this book and did you rate it? I am curious to know how many stars you gave it..."


Not yet. But I've written notes and have some fragments of w..."

Read Bounce by K.M. Jackson for a look at how one woman reacts and copes after her husband confesses that he had an affair.

[Thart2002]

Elena wrote: "Nick tries to justify/explain his infidelity by saying that he wanted to feel "that old spark of the new relationship" again. However, I don't see him attempting to get that "old feeing" back with ..."

Its been awhile since I read this novel but I think there was mention in the book that Tess quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom. If I remember correctly the implication being that when she did that her conversation became more limited and more centered on family.

I don't think Tess did anything wrong. I think that Nick got caught up in the excitement of a new relationship and the adoration Val had for him.

[Tegan]

I don't think nick ever loved Valerie, seemed more like an infatuation. I don't think Valerie lied to Tessa, because I think deep down she knew nick never loved her. If he did, let's be honest, he would have stayed with her. I do believe nick loved tessa, but to me, too much damage had been done. His blatant neglect of his own children being at the start of the list.

[Tracie]

I think the main problem between Nick and Tessa was poor communication that led to silent resentment towards each other. Tessa should have been more assertive about her feelings and choice to stay at home. Nick noticed that she wasn't happy, but didn't bother to really sit down and ask her; he became passive and as a result, their frustrations showed up in different ways.

[Stephanie]

Tegan wrote: "I don't think nick ever loved Valerie, seemed more like an infatuation. I don't think Valerie lied to Tessa, because I think deep down she knew nick never loved her. If he did, let's be honest, he ..."


I'm not sure he would have stayed with Val if he did love her, bc he also loved his children and his family. I do believe you can be in love with more than one person at once, so I don't think his automatic choice would be Val even when he loved her. Remember, Nick's decision to end things with Val wasn't because he didn't feel that he loved her (He did, and told her so) it was because he didn't want to loose his family: His own two children (not that it matter bc he he neglected them all the effing time).

For me, I consider that Val lied to Tessa, because Tessa asked her a simple question "did he tell you he loved you?". Yes, he did, whether or not Val felt he was being honest is moot. Tessa needed to base her decision to either end or reconcile things with Nick based on Nick's perceptions of his true feelings. True feelings in which he felt like he was in love with Val. Furthermore, Nick confesses to Tessa that what he thought he felt for Val felt very much like love, and that he would not of acted on the affair and sex if he didn't feel so strongly.

[Stephanie]

Tracie wrote: "I think the main problem between Nick and Tessa was poor communication that led to silent resentment towards each other. Tessa should have been more assertive about her feelings and choice to stay ..."

Yep, I think you're right. It was just really sad though because Nick, I felt, was even more selfish in trying to give himself a pass on being faithful to his marriage and responsibilities as not just a spouse, but a parent. He wasn't best dad (lack of quality time with his kiddos) before Val, and became an even worse one once he decided to commit his time, attention, and affection to Val and her son. Then he would flip the script on Tessa, and try to make her the guilty party.
Like not only are you a lying cheating bastard, but now you're finding ways to make your wife feel less than she is (while she's already struggling with insecurities) and making her feel worthless. He was a POS. I hated him, and I didn't think he got anything he deserved.

[Elena]

Stephanie wrote: "... Like not only are you a lying cheating bastard, but now you're finding ways to make your wife feel less than she is (while she's already struggling with insecurities) and making her feel worthless. He was a POS. I hated him, and I didn't think he got anything he deserved. "

Lol, agreed!

[Tracie]

Stephanie wrote: "Tracie wrote: "I think the main problem between Nick and Tessa was poor communication that led to silent resentment towards each other. Tessa should have been more assertive about her feelings and ..."

Stephanie: Good point, and I agree. Nick should have reached out to Tessa because she was holding her feelings in and he knew something was wrong, but he chose to stick his head in the sand and cheat. I think Nick has some classic narcissistic traits; one of them being manipulation.

[[deleted user]]

Emily Giffin, Heart of the matter.

I have reviewed this book previously but there are a couple of points I would like to clarify. I believe that Valerie knew that Nick didn't love her when Tessa told her that Nick had told her (Tessa) everything. When he did this he was betraying Valerie. What would be the point of telling Tessa now that Nick said he loved her when Valerie now knew that Nick didn't love her?

Something that nags at me is when Nick and Tessa were having their dreadful discussion following her return from New York. Nick said that Tessa had changed - he said that something had changed in their marriage and he really didn't think it was him. WOW!! The man crawled out of another woman's bed just hours before Tessa returned home and had planned to return to that bed that very evening. He had been with her every minute he could for the past 7 or 8 weeks and he says "HE HASN'T CHANGED". I hate to think what he would do if he wanted to indicate that he HAD changed.

Just my little rant in regard to the unfairness of this story.

I believe that Tessa had changed but if Nick has forgotten, they now have two very young children of which Tessa has almost 100% responsibility. That's how Tessa "CHANGED"!!

[Elena]

Linda wrote: "... He had been with her every minute he could for the past 7 or 8 weeks and he says "HE HASN'T CHANGED". I hate to think what he would do if he wanted to indicate that he HAD changed.

Just my little rant in regard to the unfairness of this story.

I believe that Tessa had changed but if Nick has forgotten, they now have two very young children of which Tessa has almost 100% responsibility. That's how Tessa "CHANGED"!!



Linda - yup, agree 100%

[Fancynancyuga]

I think the main problem is communication. Usually, when you are with someone, lover-friend-family member, for years and years, you just stop talking. Sadly, Nick and Tessa stopped talking. This book hit home for me and I sobbed the entire time I read it. I could change the characters names and BAM story of my life.

[[deleted user]]

Fancynancyuga wrote: "I think the main problem is communication. Usually, when you are with someone, lover-friend-family member, for years and years, you just stop talking. Sadly, Nick and Tessa stopped talking. This..."

I think you are right. It makes a lot more sense to me if they had tried to talk it out rather than what Nick resorted to. I think with these two it will work out in the end though. The ending (to me) seemed to indicate that EG has decided that Nick and Tessa should stay together. Any needy, attractive woman that came along could have turned Nick's head. Valerie fell right into his hands especially with her "hero worship" of Nick. She boosted his ego and I guess that's what he needed at that time. I don't think that Valerie herself was what Nick wanted, and I don't think he was looking for anything more than an affair. Never in the entire story did he indicate that he wanted a life with Valerie. He truly loved Tessa. His remorse was genuine and I think he got the fright of his life when he thought he was going to loose everything.

Don't let things get you down Fancynancy. I always think that when disappointments happen in life something great eventually happens and you can look back and say "I'm so happy that the other thing didn't work out because NOW my life is what I wanted". Just hang in there!!

[Tegan]

Linda wrote: "Fancynancyuga wrote: "I think the main problem is communication. Usually, when you are with someone, lover-friend-family member, for years and years, you just stop talking. Sadly, Nick and Tessa ..."

You articulated everything I felt Linda. Nick never wanted to make a life with Valerie, she was a distraction from the problems in his marriage. Tessa was his love, that much I believe. However, his horrible neglect of his OWN children and wife made me wonder did he really deserve a second chance?

[Elena]

Tegan wrote: "...However, his horrible neglect of his OWN children and wife made me wonder did he really deserve a second chance? "

My sentiments exactly... I think I was most bothered by this - the fact that he blatantly neglected his kids (and wife!) , while he always managed to find/make time for someone else's kid and another woman. Hence, I was reluctant to root for him to get a second chance....

[[deleted user]]

Elena wrote: "Tegan wrote: "...However, his horrible neglect of his OWN children and wife made me wonder did he really deserve a second chance? "

My sentiments exactly... I think I was the most bothered by this..."


Nick got what he wanted (at that time) from Valerie. No responsibilities and the thrill of new romance. Everything was great until Tessa found out (I do believe though that if Tessa hadn't found out that the affair would have continued until Nick tired of it). Once Tessa found out it was not so much fun anymore.

I too believe that Nick deserved more punishment than he got (if Tessa had made him wait for a longer period after she threw him out) BUT lets not forget that TESSA is in charge now. Nick was in control while the affair was going on but since Tessa has not said as yet that she completely forgives him but will try, Nick has to EARN his way back into her life. That is as it should be.

[Tegan]

Linda wrote: "Elena wrote: "Tegan wrote: "...However, his horrible neglect of his OWN children and wife made me wonder did he really deserve a second chance? "

My sentiments exactly... I think I was the most bo..."

Yeah, Nick was going to have to work his 'ass' off to get back into Tessa's life, I do believe he was committed to that. He loved Tessa, his affair was Valerie was slumming it, he risked it all for a woman so not worth it! I think he realized that, and wished he had never gottten involved with her. The moment he looked into Tessa's eyes and confessed, reality hit him in he face. He was scared shitless, on the verge of loosing EVERYTHING that mattered to him.

[Elena]

Linda wrote: "...Nick has to EARN his way back into her life. That is as it should be."

Agreed!

[Fancynancyuga]

I totally agree.

[Tegan]

I just reread a part of the book, and because English is my second language could you maybe explain this to me. It when tessa calls Nick, when she flew back to Boston, and he was at the museum.

'It sounds like a mall, but The chances of nick voluntary going shopping are more unlikely than an affair'

Does that mean the chances of him having an affair are greater than he would want to go shopping?

[[deleted user]]

Yes, I think that's what she means. Nick would NEVER voluntarily go shopping. I think she meant it more as a "tongue in cheek" expression. He would be more likely to have an affair than go shopping - which is exactly what he did.

I expect though that after he realized what he had done and was so remorseful he probably wished he HAD just gone shopping instead.

[Tegan]

Thanks Linda.

I love this comment you made "I expect though that after he realized what he had done and was so remorseful he probably wished he HAD just gone shopping instead. " hahahaha. So true.

I can't stop thinking about this book....just wish we had gotten a glimpse into Nick's mind regarding his remorse and his love for tessa.

[[deleted user]]

Well we found out in her new book "The One and Only" that Valerie did reach Lion and that Charlie now has a good relationship with his daddy. I'm not sure what became of Valerie because it didn't look like she was with Lion and since they lived so far apart how could Charlie have much time with his father. If I had my wish it would be that Valerie moved to Texas and Tessa never had to see her again.

Maybe Emily's next book will contain a reference to Nick and Tessa. I too would like some closure in this book. It really did leave everyone "hanging".

[Tegan]

We were totally left hanging, just wish we knew if Tessa and Nick,worked things out. I have a feeling they did...just wish we had at least one chapter in Nick's voice.

[[deleted user]]

I have a feeling things will work out too. We know that Tessa loves Nick. Nick is a different story because we don't know his thoughts. Judging by the remorse he felt when he told Tessa about Valerie I think he does love Tessa.

I don't know why he went to such lengths to tell Valerie he loved her when he was dumping her - that doesn't make sense to me. What I think his feelings for Valerie were is simply infatuation, attracted to her because she was so in awe of him and that fed his ego. There would be other attractions as well. We know he loved Charlie. When he was with Valerie he had no responsibilities - life was just a big game. When he went home to Tessa all of the problems of daily life with 2 small children returned. Nicks feelings for Charlie seem a little strange to me too because he was a doctor and would see hundreds of children - often in much worse condition than Charlie. His not having a father attracted Nick and I think that is why he became so interested in Valerie. He really did use his position to influence her.

Tessa wasn't blameless in all of this either though. She admits she changed and focused on unimportant things rather than their relationship. This doesn't excuse what Nick did. He should have let her know how he felt. We are all guilty of blindly plugging along with our lives and take most things for granted. Tessa learned a hard lesson.

Nick is a spoiled, only child and very selfish. I think the bottom line in this whole story is that Nick found out the hard way that "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE GOT UNTIL YOU LOOSE IT."

[Fancynancyuga]

Linda wrote: "Well we found out in her new book "The One and Only" that Valerie did reach Lion and that Charlie now has a good relationship with his daddy. "

I just read The One and Only. Where was this reference to Valerie and how did I miss it?