Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Love the One You're With” as Want to Read:
Love the One You're With
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

Love the One You're With

3.73  ·  Rating details ·  163,046 ratings  ·  5,207 reviews
The New York Times bestselling author of Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and Baby Proof delivers another captivating novel about women and the choices that define them. This is the story for anyone who has ever wondered: How can I truly love the one I'm with when I can't forget the one who got away?

Ellen and Andy's first year of marriage doesn't just seem perfect, it i
Hardcover, 342 pages
Published May 13th 2008 by St. Martin's Press (first published 2008)
More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Love the One You're With, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about Love the One You're With

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie KinsellaCan You Keep a Secret? by Sophie KinsellaBridget Jones's Diary by Helen FieldingSomething Borrowed by Emily GiffinThe Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella
Favorite Chick-Lit
2,306 books — 4,782 voters
The Hunger Games by Suzanne CollinsBreaking Dawn by Stephenie MeyerThe Host by Stephenie MeyerThe Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann ShafferCity of Ashes by Cassandra Clare
Best Books of 2008
1,699 books — 6,938 voters

More lists with this book...

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
Average rating 3.73  · 
Rating details
 ·  163,046 ratings  ·  5,207 reviews

More filters
Sort order
Start your review of Love the One You're With
Jun 08, 2008 rated it did not like it
Shelves: in-2008
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
This book was awful. God, it was so awful. It isn't even worth a full review and so I will try to summarize it in a few lines.

Ellen: I love Andy SO SO SO MUCH!
Andy: I'm practically the epitome of a good person, and the author paints me in a way that makes me seem perfect. So yay: the story should just finish at this point.
Leo: *glances at ellen*
Ellen: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. SWOON!! No no no no no I love andy yes yes yes yes yes I love leo.
Andy: Let's move to Atlanta! Because I want to make you hap
Jan 07, 2008 rated it liked it
Shelves: junk-food, owned
The thing I like about Emily Giffin is that she doesn't talk down to her readers. Nor does she assume that everyone who wants to read a light, fun, chick book gives two hoots about what brand of clothing the heroine wears. Her books aren't cerebral by any means, but they're smart.

This is a story about a happily married woman who runs into the One That Got Away. The encounter brings up a host of memories and feelings and is the catalyst to a series of events that will leave her wondering if the
Aug 11, 2009 rated it did not like it
Possibly never have I disliked a book more than I did this one. If possible- I would give this book a negative star rating. Unfortunately goodreads will not allow me to do this. So instead I’ll describe why my initial response upon finishing this book was one of depression at the realization I’ll never get the time back in my life that I wasted reading this book. My extreme distaste for this story stems from a number of things. To begin, I pretty much hated all the characters. Every single one. ...more
This is a Romance/Women's Fiction/Chick-Lit. This about Ellen fighting to find herself while fighting with herself about if she loves her old love or her new husband. I think if we are all honest with our self their is that one ex that we always wonder about. I have to say I love this book. (*) ...more
Jun 06, 2008 rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Aug 10, 2016 rated it it was ok
2.5 stars.

Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.

I've done it. I've now read all of Emily Giffin's novels (so far). I avoided this one for a while though, because from the description, you get a bit of a feeling that it might deal with cheating. And ch
Jan 24, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone!
Shelves: for-the-ladies, own
First off, I couldn't put this book down, I started it on Sunday (late morning) and finished it Monday evening.

This is my second favorite Emily Giffin book (behind Something Borrowed). There was a similar dynamic between Ellen and Margot, much like that of Rachel and Darcy in Something Borrowed. While the premise of the book wasn't the same, you get the same test of loyalty since Ellen is married to Margot's older brother Andy. In fact, I would say that the test of loyalty might be stronger due
Love the One You're With is a standalone, women's fiction/chick-lit novel written by author Emily Giffin. Ms. Giffin's novels have been hit or miss with me, and when they miss, they miss big time. I have zero appreciation for marital affairs or romantic deception in general that end in happily-ever-afters, so when the married female lead began making cringe-worthy choices when an old flame resurfaces, I considered doing a one-woman boycott. I finished the book though and I'm happy I did. Fortuna ...more
Feb 23, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: all lovers of women's fiction or just a good read
I remember when Emily Giffin's first book came out, and since it dealt with cheating, I did not pick it up for the longest time. Then I read a thoroughly positive review of it (I think on, which may no longer be around) and I decided I had to see what the fuss was about.

The reviewer did not do the book justice. It grabbed me from page one and wouldn't let go, even when it was dealing with messy topics such as betraying your best friend.

Since that first book, I have run out to b
Aug 20, 2008 rated it did not like it
Emily Giffin is a very talented writer. Her first two books were nearly impossible to put down, she wrote the main characters so sympathetically and realistically that the stories truly came alive. Her third book was decent - not as mind-blowingly good as the first two, but still okay. This one, unfortunately, I couldn't even finish.

My problem does not stem with the plot - a married woman runs into an ex-boyfriend and starts wondering about him and how her life could have been different if she'd
Kara Babcock
So I started sticky-noting this book on page 8. (Well, I started on page 12 and then retroactively stickied something on page 8.)

I will sometimes mark up books I own when I feel like it, but I usually prefer to use sticky notes if I find something I really want to reference in my review (they are easier to find and allow me to be more verbose than scribbly margin writing). But I don’t do this that often. When I sticky-note, it’s usually for non-fiction books, occasionally for books that are real
J.M. Cornwell
Aug 04, 2008 rated it really liked it
A modern yuppie romance.

Newlywed Ellen bumps into Leo, her old boyfriend, in the street in New York City on a rainy day. Stunned, she goes to a nearby coffee shop to gather herself. Leo calls her cell phone and asks where she is, showing up a few moments later. They have coffee and she tells him she’s married. He touches her hand and leaves but Leo doesn’t leave Ellen’s thoughts, not even when she’s with her husband, Andy, the man she loves and adores, the man she married.

Leo contacts Ellen aga
Kelly Lamb
Mar 03, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fiction, chick-lit
I had both good and bad reactions to this book. Good: it definitely sucked me in. It was hard not to be constantly wondering what choices Ellen would make next. The last 30 pages were impossible to put down. I also though Giffin did a good job of examining love and choice from a variety of angles. A very multi-facted way of viewing the storyline.

Bad: Sometimes Ellen just STRESSED me out. She had great internal dialogue, but the fact that she would never talk to Andy about her feelings was absolu
Mar 25, 2011 rated it it was ok
I'm curious to know whether Emily Giffin can write a book without a destroyed marriage or infidelity. Because every one of the books that I've read of hers include this, and not just as a secondary theme, but as the main plot of the book. Honestly, its monotonous. Infidelity is not at all something that I agree with, but granted, she writes the situations in a way that you can sympathize with the characters. That being said, every author has to have more than one plot line when they are writing ...more
Bren fall in love with the sea.
“ is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together.”
― Emily Giffin, Love the One You're With

I did not like this book.

I LOVE Giffin's books..usually. Plot looked great. But I did not enjoy.


Usually I form attachments to the characters she writes because she is so good at writing the,. Not here. I was annoyed with the main character.

And what bothered me is....nothing happens at all through the book. Just alot of secret meetings with the he
May 21, 2008 rated it it was ok
I have to admit that I do like some "chick-lit" and that I have read all of Emily Giffin's books. That said, I really didn't think that this book was anything special. The plot was predictable, and the characters weren't particularly memorable. Giffin's first two books, "Something Borrowed" and "Something Blue" were certainly more engaging; I wasn't as impressed by "Baby Proof" or "Love the One You're With." ...more
May 26, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: chick-lit
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Apr 04, 2008 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: fans of chick lit
Shelves: chick-lit
So, I was totally psyched to read the latest offering from Emily Giffin. I loved, loved, loved her other novels.

But her latest is different. It starts out slowly, almost slow enough to make me quit. And the protagonist, Ellen Graham, isn’t exactly likable. She is a photographer and a newlywed, and she has just run into her ex, Leo. This is where the story gets good!

Running into her ex leads to both physical and emotional reactions in Ellen. Is Leo the love of her life? Did she really ever get o
Jul 03, 2008 rated it it was ok
Shelves: chick-lit
It took me days to read this book which a chick lit book takes 1 or 2 days to read. I found the main character Ellen as a whiny, ungrateful brat. That is funny because the author wrote a sad background story for her: poor, pittsburgh breed, lost her mother as teen. However I felt angry as I read the book that she was such a bitchy woe is me kind of girl. I tried to think about my past relationships to connect with her feelings of her ex but I just don't think any of my ex's are worth the feeling ...more
Jan 03, 2009 rated it did not like it
please, please, please don't bother...

the in demand shelves at the library beckoned...i listened...and am now a national spokeswoman to say, please do not bother. save yourself. re-read an old favorite book & you'll be oh that much happier, i guarantee :)
Katie Valenti
What. The. Hell.

That was what went through my mind when I was reading this book. As per usual, Emily Giffin uses the "cheating" plot, this time the main character is married and she's having feelings for her old flame.

God, this crap is getting old...

Not only is this cheating thing being worn out, but this book made the characters' personalities change way to many times. Like, one minute you are feeling bad for a character because they are so nice, and then Giffin does a 360 and makes them a co
Ange H
Jan 10, 2020 rated it liked it
Is there anyone who doesn't have "the one that got away" somewhere in the back of their mind? This is an enjoyable novel about a woman who gets another chance to get it right with THAT guy, the passionate love of her life who broke her heart. But there's a problem - she's married to someone else now.

I am a firm believer that in marriage you have made your choice, and must do what it takes to honor that commitment and your relationship; so I actually didn't love the main character, Ellie. But I
Jan 23, 2009 rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jun 23, 2008 rated it it was ok
A fine example of the current state of "chick lit" as the protagonists move from the search for the soul mate to what happens after the wedding. Here, our plucky girl in the city has just married a smart, successful, rich, nice, handsome guy who adores her and who happens to be the brother of her best friend from college. A chance run-in with her ex-boyfriend on the street somehow (inexplicably, in my view) leads to months of subterfuge and guilt-inducing internal dialogues about whether she bel ...more
I really enjoyed this book. The subject matter really hit home for me. Having been in a simialr situation as Ellen I could relate to her plight and understand how confused and in turmoil she was. That first love who you love with such passion and then who breaks your heart is tough to forget. And like Ellen, I never really got closure so there was always the what if questions. But as you get older and more experienced in ways of the heart, you realize you change as a person in love and how you f ...more
Claire - The Coffeeholic Bookworm
The story began with Ellen Graham, who reasoned she’s got OCD and thus counted the days since she got married with Andy. And it had been eight years and sixteen days since she heard his voice again. And bumped into him while walking the streets. Her ex lover’s voice. Her former flame. The one that got away. Her Leo.

Ellen got great taste in photography, she had the talent and skill. So when Leo offered her a job to take pictures of celebrities, she grabbed the opportunity. She didn’t tell her hus
Jan 03, 2014 rated it it was ok
Shelves: chick-lit
2.5 stars
I didn't like this book... The characters were unlikable, shallow, stupid even. It put me in a bad mood just reading it. At which point I ordinarily would have just stopped reading. But a friend from work had loaned it to me and I hated to not finish it. (I really enjoy Jill Mansell's chick lit books, so she thought I might like this author too.) Once I got past halfway, it got a little better. But still not something I would recommend or read again.

It's my first time reading Emily Gif
Taylor Flor
Nov 05, 2017 rated it liked it
This book was a very interesting story where Ellen, a woman in her 30s, realizes she still has feelings for her ex from many years ago. One day she runs into him in the city and is met with a challenge of who she wants to be with more: Her husband or her ex.

I️ found this book a little slow at times but it was a good story.

I️ recommend this for anyone who enjoys romance stories.
I love Emily Giffin’s writing and rank Something Borrowed as one of my favourite chick-lit books ever. I also enjoyed Something Blue and Baby Proof and was excited when I finally saw Love the One You’re With at the second-hand bookswop I go to.

I quite liked the idea of the story: Ellen is married but after 100 days of marriage she bumps into her ex-boyfriend Leo. It seems she isn’t over him so the question is: who does she want to be with?

I just think the whole thing could have been explored a b
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 next »
topics  posts  views  last activity   
minimepillow 1 2 Jul 26, 2021 09:07PM  
Did anyone want her to pick Leo? 57 699 Feb 02, 2020 05:04PM  
Chick Lit Book Club: 8/2010: Love the One You're With: Chapters 31-End 4 67 Apr 10, 2014 06:56PM  

Readers also enjoyed

  • Good in Bed (Cannie Shapiro, #1)
  • In Her Shoes
  • Everyone Worth Knowing
  • The Nanny Diaries (Nanny, #1)
  • Confessions of a Shopaholic (Shopaholic, #1)
  • The Devil Wears Prada (The Devil Wears Prada, #1)
  • Queen of Babble (Queen of Babble, #1)
  • Remember Me?
  • Size 12 Is Not Fat (Heather Wells, #1)
  • The Notebook (The Notebook, #1)
  • The Undomestic Goddess
  • Can You Keep a Secret?
  • Wedding Night
  • Emily Giffin: A Biography
  • Twenties Girl
  • The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Sisterhood, #1)
  • I've Got Your Number
  • Chasing Harry Winston
See similar books…
See top shelves…

EMILY GIFFIN is a graduate of Wake Forest University and the University of Virginia School of Law. The #1 New York Times bestselling author of nine novels, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Baby Proof, Love the One You're With, Heart of the Matter, Where We Belong, The One & Only, First Comes Love, and All We Ever Wanted, she currently lives in Atlanta with her husband, three children, and two d

Related Articles

  The United States of America is an awfully big place. Sensibly, we chopped it into states a long time ago. This simplifies...
629 likes · 199 comments
“Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.” 856 likes
“ is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together.” 406 likes
More quotes…