NO HOLDS BARRED - CHAT!

[Patricia]

Annette wrote: "The only thing I regret now is that I let myself wallow in the nonsense for as long as I did. Like I don't regret the crap I went through before I met my husband. If I wouldn't have spent time with..."

I totally agree, Annette!

[Annette]

Patricia wrote: "Annette wrote: "The only thing I regret now is that I let myself wallow in the nonsense for as long as I did. Like I don't regret the crap I went through before I met my husband. If I wouldn't have..."

Thanks Patricia. I had to go back and check what I was ranting about. Haha!

[Leea]

Anyone watch the Giants game tonight... It was a great game. Go Giants!

[Elizabeth]

Stacia (the hype killer) wrote: "Yeah, I know. I was one of the 15 club. That doesn't make you a prude though!

I was raised in a VERY strict and conservative home, so that might have been my inner rebel coming out. I wasn't allow..."

Laura wrote: "Love this, and me too. I will start with the crazy contributions. Shell, you recently mentioned feeling like a prude. Sistah, you are not alone. There was a thread in another group talking about wh..."

That's why I haven't been so harsh with my kids. All the kids I went to school with that had the super strict parents seemed to be rebellion prone.

[Elizabeth]

Okay, reading this thread, I can see you ladies are honest and won't be offended if I ask-

I am currently working on a book due to the publisher this summer and I have hit a dilemma. The heroine is a virgin (22, mafia daughter sheltered, so she has spunk, just never got the opportunity)
Now, my problem...in the love scene...should I go honest and make it suck or should I stick with the romantic angle of it being beautiful?

Or am I jaded? Is there such a thing as a good first time?
Any comments and advice are welcome!!!
Thanks.

[Jocelin]

I was recently looking at my AOL Homepage and there was a video that was posted asking "Are Romance Novels Unhealthy?" It was from the show "The Doctors". They were discussing some of the aspects of romance novel where responsible behavior in sexual matters are usually thrown out the window. Such as not using any type of protection or birth control. They stated that these novels can cause the avid fans to participate in risky sexual pratices such as unsafe sex. I would like to know if any of you feel that way.

[Leea]

For me when I read a heroin like that I just think she's being stupid not using protection. So I guess I don't feel that way... I've been in a healthy loving monogamous relationship for 14 years now. I'm not out mimicking that behavior.

[Elizabeth]

I think if I was writing NA (new adult) and young people were my target audience, I would definitely make a point of the use of condoms. I think there is a bit of leeway writing for adults.

[Lori]

Elizabeth - go with what feels right. Some first times suck; others are great. My first time was... well, I really wasn't thrilled, but it had more to do with my naivete than anything else.

As for the protection angle and being "safe" - yeah, sometimes I get really ticked that protection is mentioned and then not really used. Or that recent romance books seem to put it all back on the gal/woman and say that birth control pills are enough. Some of these guys have had multiple partners! Then again, I've read more and more books that talk about getting testing and checking results before proceeding without condoms. And I *get* that condoms aren't always the most touchy-feely way to go.

As for women (because, let's face it, we're the majority audience for romances) and thinking that we will EMULATE such behavior or use it to EXCUSE unsafe behavior is just stupid. Yes, agreed on the YA audience, since the potential age range for that genre is pre-teen, teen, and young adults who *might* think that it's 'cool' to ignore the protection aspect. But who among us really believes that BDSM has had a huge influx of soccer moms who, having read the FSOG series, decided to try it for themselves? Maybe some of the minor "toys" or bondage, but not the full-blown thing. (Then again FSOG is far from the "real" thing, anyway, from what I understand of that life style.)

Just sayin' that there is bound to be a bunch in every age group and gender who might think that risky sexual practices are OK. But most of us have more common sense than that.

[Jocelin]

Thank you so much ladies for your candor on the subject.

[Elizabeth]

Lori McD. Great point all around! I couldn't agree with you more. My first thought when considering whether or not adult fiction should stop the drop and roll (is that not the worst pun? Man, I love bad puns!)...my first thought was- if you're not able to distinguish fiction from reality, you have bigger problems than the lack of condoms in adult novels!

[Lynette]

Elizabeth wrote: "Lori McD. Great point all around! I couldn't agree with you more. My first thought when considering whether or not adult fiction should stop the drop and roll (is that not the worst pun? Man, I lov..."

I have to agree with you on that, Elizabeth. After all, romance is for fantasy to a certain degree, an escape. However, that being said, while we can forgo some of the reality, I think some aspects have to be believable as well. In historical fiction, many women didn't even know their own "womanly bits" since sex discussions were not exactly normal fare at the dinner table. They certainly did't know how contraception and protection. Besides, kinda takes away from the spontaneous act of romance. If the readers is an adult, we can only assume they know the reality VS the fantasy.

[Shoshi]

Haha ! You gals are hilarious ! Better than the bickering of some authors !

[Tya]

Elizabeth--has your book come out?

[[deleted user]]

Someone mention Flowers in the Attic in a different folder. The author V.C. Andrews passed away years ago but newer books after her death have come out in her name. Why is that allowed and why don't the authors use their own names? Just curious...I did like that book.

[Becky ♡The Bookworm♡]

Elizabeth wrote: "Okay, reading this thread, I can see you ladies are honest and won't be offended if I ask-

I am currently working on a book due to the publisher this summer and I have hit a dilemma. The heroine i..."

Hi Elizabeth! Having just finished reading Duncan's Bride, I have a few thoughts on the realistic wedding night/first time. I thought the way Linda Howard handled it was refreshing. For me, It made the book more "real" and "believable."

Your decision isn't an easy one, but here are a few factors to consider: Where is this relationship going? Is it a HEA? A short time love affair? Are they already in a committed relationship or is it a moment of unbridled passion?

I asks these questions because the way the hero handles that first time is an opportunity to build the emotional intimacy between the couple, or cause all kinds of problems.

Maddie (in Duncan's Bride) isn't experienced, but (view spoiler)[after her uncomfortable wedding night, she quickly realizes that Reese is holding back his passion to insulate his heart (hide spoiler)]. Obviously, she finds that unacceptable.

My point is that either option presents a variety of opportunities. I like the fireworks and rainbows approach, too, if it fits the emotional tone of the book.

Your heart will tell you which option is right for your characters and your story. Best of luck to you!

[Jocelin]

Has anyone seen the mini-teaser trailer for "50 Shades of Grey?" The full trailer is set to premiere on the Today Show on Thursday.

[MG]

Wednesday, September 21 is STUFF YOUR KINDLE WITH FREEBIES DAY!
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