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What I have learned so far from "The Help."
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Mary wrote: "I am on page 100 and, so far, I have learned that white people are either ignorant or heartless; sometimes both."Please don't be classifying people by race. At least lets hope this book does better than that. But I suspect it doesn't, because there you are doing the same thing that caused so much strife in this country to start with. People aren't ignorant and heartless because they are white, any more than are blacks, or asians, or middle easterns or Jews, or any other race.
i think Mary means that this is the book's message, not that SHE personally feels this way. I didn't take the comment to mean she believed the generalization, but that the generalization was being made in the book. and i don't mean to speak for you, Mary, that was just my take.
that said, i did not get that message from the book. i do not think the book was down on white people. and i loved it, ironically because i found the relationships between children and their caregivers (mothers or nannies) was so poignantly and beautifully explored.
this book is not for everybody. for instance, my husband wouldn't enjoy it. but i think most mothers of young children (at least all the ones i know) really appreciate this book.
Yes, Mandy, that's what I meant. Obviously I don't believe I am ignorant and/or heartless.The relationship between the children and their caregivers is beautifully explored, I would agree with that. The relationship with daughters and mothers, at least so far in the book, is pretty much awful. The mothers are critical and cold. I have a young daughter and I sincerely hope that our relationship is not like the mother-daughter relationships in this story.
Full disclosure: I'm only on page 122, it's possible the mother-daughter theme is explored further and gets better as the story progresses.
I loved this book, because whether we like it or not, I feel it is accurate as to how people were treated and what societal expectations were. Granted it wasn't like that everywhere, but it was like that somewhere. I laughed and cried throughout this book.
Unfortunately, part of the result of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 is government backed discrimination. We have bent over backwards to correct the ills of the past and, in so doing, have created laws which require discrimination. Think affirmative action - is not that actions based on race? And I, myself, have been discriminated against in employment - by an Act of Congress, because I am not Native Alaskan.
Shortly before I read The Help, I read Black Boy by Richard Wright, which is the nonfiction autobiography of the author's experiences growing up in Birmingham during the same time period as The Help. It was a very interesting experience to see the juxtaposition of fiction/nonfiction, white girl/black boy POV experiencing the same things.I loved The Help because of the powerful feelings it evoked within me, especially the mother/daughter relationships and nanny/child relationships. And they were not always positive feelings, but that is my measure of a 5 star book; did it make me feel something powerful (good or bad)? It was an excellent discussion book for my "real life" book club and we were able to draw many parallels with current events. We even had a "southern" night where our hostess (who is from Tennessee) made us fried chicken, deviled eggs, okra, and red velvet cupcakes!
Kristie wrote: "I loved this book, because whether we like it or not, I feel it is accurate as to how people were treated and what societal expectations were. Granted it wasn't like that everywhere, but it was lik..."I don't disagree that's how black people were treated in the 1960's Mississippi. It's the white relationships that seem far too negative to be believable.
Regardless of what Stockett's relationship with her own mother may or may not have been, that doesn't mean any of the relationships in this novel are based solely on her own direct personal experiences - perhaps they are based on the relationships she saw around her growing up or those of friends who have told her stories of their childhood. Fiction writers don't always stick to the 'write what you know' adage. (But that also doesn't mean there isn't truth in fiction). I found them to be very believable and can see the same kinds of things happening in young families today! I'm very glad to hear that your relationship with your daughter is nothing like the ones in the novel. Unfortunately, dysfunctional relationships are just as prevalent as the functional ones but often they don't get the same attention. Despite being a long-time reader of Southern authors, I found this to be a very eye-opening novel! I'm glad I read it!
And what on earth happened between Stockett and her own mother?! Is there a single functional mother-daughter relationship in this book?! I agree with Jo. Stockett is a writer and writers have good imaginations. If people judged my familial relationships based on the characters I write...well, yikes!!
Besides, in order to create tension in a plot, you pretty much have to make everyone's life a mess. Otherwise, if everyone got along, the story would be rather boring.
I loved The Help and so did my friends, but I haven't heard much from the African American community. I'm curious if they related to the book, too.
What I learned from the book was how whites were using such blatant misinformation (such spreading a fear of germs) in order to justify segregation. Appalling!
Good point Michelle! I thought Stockett did a great job building tension throughout the novel - if everyone was fine, had no tensions in their homes & outside of their homes, it would have been a very different novel for sure and most likely wouldn't be having the impact it's had & continues to have!
It wasn't the tension, it was just that NONE of the white mother-daughter relationships were any good. However, FINALLY on page 184, we learn that Hilly loves her children. Then we find out that Celia wants babies. So I think that aspect is really coming around for me.The further I get into the book, the more I'm enjoying it. I was kind of disgusted with the first 100 pages or so. The writing was good, I just didn't care for the relationships.
The most fascinating aspect to me is the relationships between the white girls. Especially Elizabeth, I wish we could dig deeper into her life.
As for my comments about Stockett's relationship with her mother, I was being tongue in cheek. Obviously I understand that fiction writers don't always have truth in what they write. I was just flabbergasted at the extremes of the mother-daughter relations.
Coming from an extremely complicated mother-daughter relationship myself, the ones in this novel didn't seem extreme or far-fetched to me lol! More often than not I've found the relationships in novels to be complicated, makes for compelling reading I guess! PS, like Tera often reminds, it can be difficult to read the intention behind comments, sometimes esp when it comes to humor/'tongue in cheek' :-)
Mary wrote: "It wasn't the tension, it was just that NONE of the white mother-daughter relationships were any good. However, FINALLY on page 184, we learn that Hilly loves her children. Then we find out that ..."Speaking of Elizabeth, she infuriated me! I kept thinking, "Why in hell don't you stand up for yourself, woman?!?!"
I won't give anything away, but she tested the limits of my patience throughout the book. Especially during the final chapters. She (I felt) was almost too stupid to love. Having said that, I adored this book. I gave it 5 stars on Goodreads, but really wanted to give it 100. It's a sad part of our history, but I am so glad I read this book. It's been sitting on myself bookshelf for at least 6 months when I finally gave in and read it. I'm not one who usually jumps on the bandwagon when folks start a hootin' and a hollerin' about how good a book is (or is not). I usually get around to it, in my own...slow...time. And as cute as the movie looks, I refuse to watch it until it's released on DVD. I want to like this movie, and if I watch it, say, next week, I'll be upset over the adaptation.
I think the mother-duaghter relationships in the book reflect how people are brought up in their society. It seemed to me that white upper class families don't show public affection or even affection in private. They show love by buying it. At least that is what I gathered.
Elizabeth (Alaska) wrote: "Unfortunately, part of the result of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 is government backed discrimination. We have bent over backwards to correct the ills of the past and, in so doing, have created law..."Affirmative Action is not just based on race as the main factor. It's also based on gender, religion, and creed.
Michelle wrote: "And what on earth happened between Stockett and her own mother?! Is there a single functional mother-daughter relationship in this book?! I agree with Jo. Stockett is a writer and writers have g..."
There has been reaction from the African American community in regards to "The Help". However, it's not as vast because this type of story has been told by many authors. The Help has the feel of Corinna, Corrina starring Whoopi Goldberg and Ray Liotta(love that movie). I am glad Stockett wrote a book like this. Many African Americans wrote books on the caregiver relationship between African Americans and Caucasian American in the South antebellum, before the Civil Rights movement and during the Civil Rights Movement.
As a history teacher, I'd say that the author did complete an accurate depiction of race relations in the south. I have visited Jackson Mississippi and there are still difficulties today with race relations. The complaints I had for the book was the lack of character development for Celia and I would have liked to known more background on Hilly's character, what happened in her past that made her the way she was. Elizabeth's was established in that her own mother/daughter relations were strained and she wasn't ever given or took the opportunity to speak up for herself. Anyway, take it or leave it, it is just my opinion. And I wouldn't advise disliking the book because it shows some tough times that continue today in our nation.
Someone mentioned that it's a story that's been told before and while that may be true to a degree, I don't think it's been told by the Kathryn Stockett's generation (younger then my 71 year old mom but older than I am at 36yrs old) until recently so while the theme may be the same, the perspective, to me, is different.I saw the movie and think they did an incredible job w/it! I don't think it downplayed, sugar-coated or otherwise chick lit'd the dangerous racial tensions of the time this fictional novel is set in. If it did I doubt I would have been as shocked & startled by it at times as well as deeply moved. And I think some forget that the novel & therefore the movie are fiction, despite there being many truths to it. Had this actually happened in Jackson MS during the 1960s, could it have ended on such a postive note? Perhaps however very unlikely. But the novel and the movie end hopefully to give us hope, something we in the US need a lot of right now! Both are also relevant reminders of what has happened in the past and cannot continue in the present & future. I'd see the movie again as well as read the novel again!
I grew up in the South (Virginia) in the early 60s and we had a Black housekeeper, Mathilda, when I was growing up. I was very young but I don't have any recollection at all of treating Mathilda in any way other than as a memeber of the family. She stayed in our house and slept in my parents' bedroom when my parents took trips--my sister and I loved her dearly. Of course...I have no idea, now, how Mathilda really felt about us. So reading The Help was an uncomfortable experience for me though overall I liked it. I can't help but feel defensive and offended when people make judgemental statements about how Black maids were treated in the South and how wealthy white people raise their children, based on this one book.
Mary wrote: "I grew up in the South (Virginia) in the early 60s and we had a Black housekeeper, Mathilda, when I was growing up. I was very young but I don't have any recollection at all of treating Mathilda in..."
I'm sure there was a variety of experiences from maid ot maid. And, hopefully, people won't stereotype, although the book does show a variety of views.
I'm sure there was a variety of experiences from maid ot maid. And, hopefully, people won't stereotype, although the book does show a variety of views.
I've always said that the unfortunate thing about stereotypes is that they stick around because there is indeed truth in them - what's even more unfortunate though is when they are used to label the whole instead of the few who exhibit them. But when that happens, it's up to those of us who don't fit the stereotype to set the record strait and show them there's a big difference!
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I can understand why so many people didn't care for this book...
I haven't made a judgement on it yet. But I am going to finish it.
And what on earth happened between Stockett and her own mother?! Is there a single functional mother-daughter relationship in this book?!