I hate that I am both cheap and not a mechanic

[Monkey]

So about halfway through the poison ivy patch, my lawnmower broke.

"Not a problem" I think to myself, "I've got a hammer and a screwdriver...let's get to fixin'!".

Three hours later, through a combination of ineptitude and youtube videos, I'd broken it beyond repair.

The most embarrassing part was when, in a fit of pure ape fury, I started cursing and beating the top of the flywheel with a metal pipe. The pipe WHANGED to the side and broke off the plastic oil tube.

I quickly bought a replacement mower off Craigslist and took the deceased to the dump.

[smetchie]

I thought you were going to say the metal pipe bounced up and smacked you in the forehead. that would have been embarrassing. And much funnier too.

[Monkey]

That would not be funny.

[smetchie]

I suppose it depends on your perspective.

[Reads with Scotch]

Carpentry and do it yourself repairs, are the grandfather, of profanity. I don't care what linguist say.